From the very first day, I knew the other woman held my career, my job, and my marriage in her hands. And like I've said, she was not above taking whatever steps she had to to keep me in her life. So, I always felt like for me to get out of this situation and have any chance of saving my marriage that the other woman would have to decide that she no longer wanted to be a part of my life.
I get it. My H was much the same. He broke up with her and came back home but was so weak when she lured him back weeks later he was a goner. He just didn't bother to tell me that. Then she got pregnant. She held the pregnancy and her supposed "cancer" over his head for quite a while. Then she used the baby as bait. Later it was threats to tell me, which she followed through on. She thought if he would not leave me, she would force me to kick him out. Then when all those did not work she used the threat of suicide. Through all of this my H took the path of least resistance. He actually told me of one point when the OW and I were both happy for a few weeks and he figured he could keep going until he could no longer sustain both lives. He never, ever wanted to be the bad guy. Nearly 3 years down the road he realized she was never letting go. She was moving her own personal boundaries, her line in the sand if you will until she had no self respect left. At this point he knew had to stop. He HAD to be the one and he had to tell me the truth.
Wow! That sounds like my life for for the last 2 years, except she finally stopped moving her line thankfully. That really is the best part of this site. To hear how so many people have had the EXACT SAME THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. Its absolutely amazing. That's really been the most helpful part in reading this site, and in books reading case examples of people who are literally saying the exact same things I have said. The success stories are the things that give me more hope than anything I could have ever imagined a month or two. Just hearing about how I'm almost the classic case reassures me that I can also have the hope of recovery that so many have experienced.
Which brings me to a question. Am I doing something wrong when I try to click on links in someone's signature? It always says that its a bad link and there is nothing there.
E, see now this is why I asked you if there had been ANY contact. This my dear IS contact. It set you backwards in your withdrawl. Do not under look up her myspace, flickr whatever you know she has out there. It will set you back to day one of your withdrawl.
I get that now. I didn't get that then. I was fighting this virtually alone at the time. I wouldn't say it set me back to Day 1, only because I know now that I can survive without her. More importantly, I know now that I want to survive without her and thrive without her. But, it definitely set me back a good bit.
