Gabagool, I asked you the below questions on your GUT FEELINGS thread. Either you didn't read it or you don't want to answer? I'm just curious as to which it is?
Victoria

You mentioned that you and your wife are going to MC.

Do you like the MC?

Do they use the MB principles?

It sounds like neither of you is getting much out of the MC. If that is so then maybe you need to spend some time researching MC's and finding one that is a better fit for you both.

It sounds like neither of you is getting your needs met and that your wife is unwilling to let you try to meet her needs.

Have you tried to meet her needs in a subtle way, so that the change is not sudden and overwhelming?

Have you tried to meet her needs without expecting anything in return?

Vic
Its pretty simple. She doesn't want me to meet her needs.
ANd MC is about 2 months old.
Sorry about missing your first post.

I almost died. My perspective changed.

All I had left to fight for was my financial security and to keep her form having OM kill me until I could get around on my own again. Believe me, the day I could walk unassisted, I made a phone call to OM and played him the recording of their "plan" and to bring it on as he wouldn't make it out his front door.

I was actually welcoming the challenge as I had nothing to lose and he had everything to lose.

He turned out to be a weaslely little chicken frightened to death of me. I guess all his tall tales of being a heroic "marine sniper" was all lies.




Circuit city.

It is a Panasonic voice activated digital recorder. No tape.

Make sure it will connect to your computer with a USB cable to load the sound files so you can save them to a CD.

The ironic thing is, my wife had bought the recorder a year or so before to catch a supervisor sexually harassing her.

GG,

Voice activated digital recorders can be purchased at any electronics store, walmart, radioshack, ect...

Keep in mind the smaller the recorder, the shorter the battery life.

Not cheap, but requires alot less "interaction" would be to GPS the car... Either realtime or a recorder that will allow you to re-create routes taken, speed, times and locations of stops, you name it...

Here's a link...

http://www.vehicle-tracking.com/storecategory90.aspx

Also, type in "tracking key" on ebay for cheaper prices.

-JKT

Pariah

DO you have a thread where I can catch up on your story? The little bit you just revealed left my shaking my head in disbelief.

And thanks for the recorder info.

Thanks Just

Its AMAZING what these things can do, huh??

Ok, so maybe not a love letter. But, how about a short note that simply states "hey, last night when you were watching 'dancing with the stars' I thought you looked very pretty." Make it about HER, not you.
I'm just a little concerned that you are getting alot of sound advice from others but you shoot everything down. I realize you're hurt and angry, but just because something did not work in the past does not mean it won't work now. Yes, I believe the recorder sounds like a fine idea, but be sure you're ready to hear what she may say. And, prior to listening, have a plan in case you hear the worse. She's already spewing venom your way...imagine how angry she'll be once she finds this out. Especially, if she's not cheating...just mad. I read your story but cannot actually pin point a time when this anger started. I know you think there was no one single catalyst, but there almost seems like there has to be. Sometimes it something very small that you don't even realize she got so mad at. Then, add the toxic friend to the mix and you have a disaster. Just be a little more open minded. You may surprise yourself. Remember, you've made it very clear that you are staying married, no matter what. So, now is time to start hard work. You may have not lost her to an affair, yet, but from the sounds of it her toxic friend will push her there. Tread carefully but with tremendous purpose. Step outside of your comfort zone.

I don't understand, what advice have I turned down?

It's scattered in bits and pieces here starting with my I got shot thread.

My story is much worse than I have revealed to you. Your wife isn't trying to actively have you killed to cover an affair.

My injury left my ability to focus with my memory rather fractured from the massive blood loss and oxygen depravation.

However I do see the same pattern with your wife and her toxic friend as mine did and so many others here do.

A cheating wife will have enablers and cheerleaders to encourage them in their "persuit of happiness".

GG,
Maybe it's not concrete advise...perhaps I'm wrong. I just get a sense that you've already made up your mind about how you are going to handle this and nothing will change it. I just want you to see that stepping outside your comfort zone may be of some benefit. Trust me, I feel your anger...so she must too. I'm sure there's something that tipped her off...just a gut feeling. I know I don't know you and would never want you to think I'm being judgemental, but it's important for you to see everything. Yes, get the recorder if you think you should, but access feelings other than anger too. I know what it's like to be in a club that you never asked to be in, but be sure you put it to good.

Hey GG,
No real posting on your life in a day or two. Are you ok? What's happening with W? Just thinking of you and wondering.