Like i said we never talk about deep personal things... ever. I told him that and he said hed pray and the subject changed. EOS.
I do believe that as an adult i can have friends. I have not had intimate talks with this guy and i have not been in a room alone with him for more that 5-10 mins.

I guess what im trying to say is that there is no attraction like my WH makes it seem.

FH,

why must i be attracted to a man that is christian? I do believe it would be easier for me to fall into that trap, but just b/c he is a christian man i must be attracted?

Does that mean if i talk to my pastor (who is male and not bad looking) i am going to become infatuated with him?

jus wondering...

H@23,

I think his seeing your professor is an aim at controlling your contacts, myself.

Get safe, stay safe. Snatch up every ounce of support you can find. Check on campus to see what they offer.

YIM

I have been to her school to sign her up for classes in the beginnning of this semester, I've talk to Dr. H to make sure you would get in the class you needed. I've gone to the community service office without you and with you. I only asked Dr. C to grade your test early as a favor, and he had no problem doing it. I asked you to check online and I thought you said he didnt, so I was going to ask him what happened to his promise. I come to the school at least 2 a week to pick you up when you were not already at home. The reason I say that is b/c I would come home during the day after I know she was out of class like 12:30 or 1pm. I started going to her tutoring to pick up our daughter, from her, and thats the most I've been there, honestly. But the real truth is I started to be more interested after the tutoring sessions became later and later, sometimes she wasnt getting home until 10pm. So in reality, these people were seeing my wife more than me and my daughter was.

You've been getting A's because the studying sessions has been helping you, you've been so excited that you've been doing better that your looking at the student page everyday until test arrive. This last test we are speaking of was really important to determine either she'll get a B or an A, so she really wanted to know. the whole weekend she was checking her account, and he hadnt grade the test yet. So monday I just told him she had been working really hard and been looking for him to post the grade that weekend. He told me that he would grade her test just for that and post it that night. Which he did grade but didnt post, so when she got there Dr. C told her, and she was happy, she ditched class and who might I she shared this happiness with first...

Its amazing how you know he is very much God fearing man, that you originally claimed barely knew, and only seen in Dr. C office. You dont have any classes with him, and he dont even go to the same study session, or does he? So, when did you get a chance to know him so well. Maybe those late night study sessions? I guess you were studying physics and the bible.

Hmm...my husband never spoke to my professors before, and the whole class is graded at the same time.

wow,

now you attack me on a thread that is supposed to help me get through this... good job.

this is ofcourse the last time ill post

I'm sorry that you've been discouraged from posting.

Please, keep yourself safe.

Prayers,

YIM

i agree that tmt should NOT be posting here, at least on her thread. it is another control tactic, period.

going to the college, talking to professors: control tactic.
her schooling is her business. she is a big girl, i am sure she can handle whatever needs to be handled herself.

i am in my 3rd year of college. it is a lot of work. sometimes you sacrifice some time with your family to get the work done knowing the outcome will be good in the end. you, tmt, have no right to go to her school, talk to her professors,anything.

hurting23, if you would still like to be able to talk safely, we will gladly start a message board for you. it is easy as pie to do. and tmt will not know about it. you will be safe and private. let us know, and i am sure i could set something up. and any of the posters here who have been helping could join in on it.

i completely understand why you would not want to post here since he cannot respect you enough not to post on your thread. tmt, we are not interested in your excuses. trying to make you look bad because he is the one that is guilty. it takes some of the guilt away from him to turn the tables. ANOTHER CONTROL TACTIC. tmt, you have a LOT of help you need, a LOT of therapy to get to the root of why you have to control someone else so much. if you were so worried about losing her, you should have not cheated a zillion times.

let us know hurting.

mlhb

H23...you should strongly consider a restraining order against this guy.

He is a control freak and nothing but trouble.

Get and stay FAR away from him.

TMT,

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

What part of creating a safe place for your wife, protecting your wife from you did you fail to understand.

Right now, you are in NO position to judge or tell her how to conduct her life. You've made enough of a mess with your own decisions, why would your wife think you have anything but your own interests in mind.

The very people who might help you, you have largely alienated here, and you all but ignore the advice to give your wife space and safety.

The choice is always yours. However, take a look at how destructive your choices have been so far. You are driving both your wife and those who have chosen to support her away, and are continuing to do so with your choices.

So how's that working for you?

It really doesn't matter what she does. This is about YOUR choices, your failures and the things you need to correct. She will not be there for you because you drove her away. You need to accept this.

If she is valuable to you, then work on you, demonstrate that she is a person of worth to you by becoming a man worthy to be her wife, and pray that she will see it.

If she chooses not to, then accept that you are experiencing the consequences of your actions, and let her go.

The only thing you can control is your actions. Right now, you are not acting like a man she can trust, not acting in her best interests, nor are you offering any sort of protection from your continuing hurtful behaviors.

So get busy with your own self-improvement. You have enough to do that you don't have time to look over at her to see if she is meeting your standards, or is pleasing you.

You don't have a credible position to make such assessments at this time, and may never. The only way you ever will is to fix what you are doing wrong, and make that a permanent, consistent part of your life.

AND YOU STILL MAY NOT GET WHAT YOU DESIRE.

But you will be a better, more Godly man regardless the outcome.

Stop posting on her thread- it's not productive for her or for you. This is one of the reasons she thinks you're controlling.

Guys
I have registered very recently but I have been in the backgroud reading for the past year. All I wanted to tell you is;
becareful.
Obviously he has done pretty awful things but she is doing dumb things as well. Apparently she has learned from him. Who knows if she's even telling the truth!!....I would be very cautious!!!
How can she not think that talking to this dude is very dangerous??? Isn't this how her Husband A's started??
Once again; be cautious!!

LD