prayerchanges,

She contradicted herself. First she says she's mad that you neglected her, then she says she's mad because you won't give her space. There's only one reason she would need "space" and that is to carry on an affair. So that LAST thing you want to do is give her any space at all. You want to make it as inconvenient as possible for her to carry on any affair.

One poster said she could be using "neglect" as an excuse to justify the affair, but on the other hand, the Harley's do say that neglecting someone's top emotional needs can make the other spouse more vulnerable to an affair. (But obviously an affair is not the right way to express anger regarding a neglected need and she'll need to learn what the right way is.)

You should insist that she end the affair and that she send a No Contact letter to the OM. Then you should read up on Plan A.

Wife has decided to stay due to conviction that what she was doing was not right. She has allowed another man to fill the void she was feeling but she says it did not go past kissing. She has also realized that she didn't love him he just treated her the way she wanted to be treated. This guy is twice her age so he's had time to experience more than me. Eventhough she's made the decision to stay she is having to get alot of bad feelings out of her system in order to treat me decently. I got my wife back but it still feel like I'm in hell. She is not willing to give up the person's name or any type of info about him. The guy works with her so I don't believe that the contact has stopped with them. Exposing her to her management would only hurt her and push her to him. She is willing to go down by herself if necessary which would only make me look bad. I'm not sure how to handle this situation I feel like the best thing would be to give her what she thinks she wants so she can fall on her face. Please help!