Hope,
You're hurt and devastated. I understand this.
What would your children want you to do?
THAT is the ultimate question.
I saw what is happening with you happen with my parents.
I see it with my children.
NO ONE will compare to you two setting aside your past, embracing MB, and rebuilding for your children who want you to be together because they love you more than anyone else in this world.
You are foolish in believing that an amicable divorce will come from this. There is no such thing and you two will begin arguing over the tiniest things and your kids will be caught in the middle.
THERE IS NO FRIENDLY DIVORCE!
Hope, I understand the appeal of getting ENs met by someone. It's wonderful when you've been treated as wrongdoer has treated you.
But you do sound like a wayward. Think about it, he created the conditions to make you become one, just as many of us BSes did with our former/current spouses.
Your story is worse than others, but you do sound like a wayward.
You two chose to have children. They did not choose for the two of you to behave as you have.
The D isn't over till it's over and there is no chance to repair anything if another person is in the picture.
Believe me, the work you put into restoring your marriage will be worth it compared to the mountains of legal bills and never ending arguments that await you in divorce land.
The grass isn't all that green over here and it was much nicer to have my children in my life when I was married.
You are making the mistake of assuming that the kids will be with you or the other.
You're now both guilty of adultery. A legal battle will take place over the kids and both of you will have them taken out of your life in a way that you cannot enjoy unless you save your marriage.
Hope, no one says it will be easy. But you have nothing to lose since wrongdoer has gotten th 4x4 he deserves and truly understands the damage done now. The tables have turned and he doesn't like it.
