I wanted to address Mulan's reference to being HOMELESS.

There is absolutely no way the courts are going to leave you HOMELESS. Maybe the house will have to be sold, so you will be HOUSE-LESS, but there are other places to live, condos, apartments, other houses.

I think the LIFESTYLE change is scaring you, Mulan. This is NOT a life or death situation. Tell that to yourself, over and over and over and over again. The fear is what is scaring you, probably not the reality. Try to look only a moment ahead. Plant yourself in the right here, right now.

Not an easy task, for sure, but it could help alleviate some of this stress, and get you moving on a strategy to get through this.

I like your daughter's idea of getting out, here and there, to a movie or for high tea, a coffee, a walk.

You are taking part in the sick dance, Mulan. Break free.

Mulan, have you really got a daughter of 33? You must look like sisters judging by that photo on the MB Photo Thread.

I'm so sorry you have been ill through your husband's selfish, arrogant behaviour. I don't see it being feasible that you might lose your home - just because your kids are grown up doesn't mean the courts won't protect you.

If interacting with your WH has a detrimental effect on your health then make that your priority and keep a great deal of distance between you both. As your children are older, then I don't expect you would need to have too much contact and I think the less the better. None would be ideal.

I don't see any need for urgency. The most important thing is for you to stay put, protect yourself financially, interact with friends and family, distract yourself with meals and movies and then, when you are emotionally stronger, get ready to do battle.
I think you need time to recover from what has been a terrible shock to your system; your soul.
Take care, TT