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"I am going to do everything in my power to save our marriage. These are consequences of your decision to have an affair, and you must deal with the consequences of your decision." That would sound like you are punishing him when that's not the intent behind exposure at all. Saying you're doing everything in your power to save your marriage is fine. I can't think right now (too busy at work) but I'm sure others will come along and tell you specifics about things you can say.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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It doesn't matter a whole lot exactly what you say. He will hear what he wants anyway. You can just tell him you are just telling the truth and leave it at that.
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Thanks everyone. I will follow your advice and just say "I am trying to save our marriage, and simply told the truth about what is going on."
Sigh.
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PM, (or anyone else),
What should the BS do if the WH were to find out about plans to expose to OW's parents and work, and the WH accused the BW of doing it for revenge?
Sorry for intruding.
me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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I don't see why you would say anything different but I will caution you that he might talk to these people first and put his own spin on the story. All those I exposed to first became allies, while all those he spoke to first either sat on the fence or took his side. Even his brother who had only just had his d-day 2 months earlier bought the "at least I wasn't a complete a***h*** like your WW was because I saw to it that Tabby was financially secure" crap. His mom somehow thought that it really was possible for a M to break up and then meet a new soul mate ready to move in together within 2 weeks time (she still doesn't think he was actually adulterous with OW!!!!).
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PM, (or anyone else),
What should the BS do if the WH were to find out about plans to expose to OW's parents and work, and the WH accused the BW of doing it for revenge?
Sorry for intruding. They ALL make that accusation so that is part of the expected litany. He will probably also say he was going to work on the marriage but now he's not, blah, blah, blah..... Its all part of the same script!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks MelodyLane...I think I have another problem. I am not sure if WH knows about this place and is coming here and reading my posts? He knows I have the books, and was reading articles online. What should I do?
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question from another thread...
is the exposure to OW parents best done by phone, or letter??
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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question from another thread...
is the exposure to OW parents best done by phone, or letter?? My opinion: If you can't do it in person, do it by phone. They need to hear the emotion in your voice.
Just passing through...
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Well, the number for OW mother was disconnected, and the number for OW father was not the right one. I guess back to square one.
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Please do this. Schedule a date, maybe Monday, where you will put all your effort into doing this.
ME BH 40 - FWW 39
Sons - 9 and 7
DDAY - March 18,2006
Married 10 years
Recovering
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