Sorry to TJ, but I have to say Bethy, PLEASE leave him. The money doesn't matter. Just leave. You can survive in a motel room for a few months, if you have to. You can survive bankruptcy. You can survive just about anything. But not an abuser.

AND CALL UP YOUR BEST FRIEND AND GO SEE HER!

Have you read "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend? It is from a Christian, scriptural point of view. Good stuff. Google it and see if it will help your situation. I cannot do it justice in a summary. If you want to make this work, you have to do some research. You didn't ask to have an emotionally abusive husband, but you have one, so you have to deal with the matter the way it must be dealt with, which requires reading as well as counseling and posting here.

My first husband was mildly emotionally abusive. Towards the end of the marriage, when the divorce was drawn up, I realized he was mean when he was hungry, and not mean right after he ate. So I would feed him if he got mean. Now obviously that is no way to live, and divorce was the right thing to do.

Years later I developed a serious drinking problem. I quit drinking almost two years ago. H didn't leave me because I drank. Some people can change.

On the other hand, my sister divorced her abusive husband. He just got worse. She went through horrible withdrawal. What a woman has to do to tolerate abuse is simply inhuman. She had created a delusional universe in which he would get better if she could only figure out how to be good enough for him. She cried to me, "why wasn't I good enough for him" when he found another victim (girlfriend). She was sustained through years of abuse by the vision of a future that would never exist. It was very, very hard for her to let go of that. But she did! She is happier now and goes to al-anon.

Let me see if I understand this. He's verbally abusive. Yet it was you who brings home a baby without first consulting your husband.

I don't think he's abusive, I think he's frustrated and doesn't have a way to get through to you in a way that demonstrates you hear him.

So he has escalated his voice.

I'm not saying his tactics are appropriate.

However, is it possible that you are creating these dramatic situations.

One day you want to bring home a puppy, but he doesn't want one. The next day you bring home an infant without asking.

In my best Hanna Montana voice, "Marriage Builder say what?"

Husband Always Stressed...