:thud:

Have you called the Harleys yet?

nagging - yes, I am nagging

Pep

Not a bad idea...but an attorney might be a better option for you in the short term...to protect yourself against this woman.

eta..on second thought call the Harleys...but don't be talked into surrendering your manhood....I am concerned with BH's in that I have seen a lot of them giving up their cajones in order to keep a marriage intact.

Hey MEDC, it's not really a matter of "giving up cajones" Neither of us are doormats anymore. I'm sure many have suggested she get a lawyer as well. The Allman Brothers told me I'm no angel.

Believe it or not we do actually love each other too. I do think we need counseling though.

Thanks Pepperband

There is a difference between counseling and coaching.

The name 'coaching' uses a metaphor from the sports community, where coaching is an established activity. No team of athletes would consider trying to reach excellence without a coach. In being coached, one does not have to admit either to needing help or even to having a problem, so the shame-based feelings often triggered by counselling are by-passed. It is no disgrace to have a coach, when even Tiger Woods has had several!

See: http://www.julietaustin.com/article-coaching-counseling.html

You need coaching and so does she. Giving all that free rent in your head (and her's) to the past is not a good thing.

Larry

Now Lar, how is he supposed to get in touch with his inner child if doesn't spend endless hours yapping about his childhood?? :eek:

Anyway, the Harleys coach you to move on with your life in ways that maximise your relationships. I dunno if they care about your inner child or not. I suspect they are more interested in how you act as a grownup as opposed to how you acted as an urchin.

Mel: I started just recently to see if I could find a good coach around my neck of the woods to relieve myself of some issues. PTSD is real and hard to shake off. He did want some of my history as a reference point since it is who I am, but he then went on to provide direction. Glad I went. Think I will see him some more, about once or twice a month. While coaching can be effectively accomplished over the phone, I like the personal approach since I can see the expression on his face and he mine.

On the other hand, with this situation, I think the Harleys are the best bet for the two of them.

Larry

Agree, Larry. I am a big fan of coaching and focusing on present behaviors to change the FUTURE. So is Dr. Harley. My gosh, I shudder to remember all the years I wasted going to "therapy" yipping and yapping my fool head off about my childhood, never getting anywhere.

What is this i hear you don't carry a gun, son? You call yourself a TEXAN??? :eek:

Thanks everyone. I used to love watching that TV show "Coach"

MelodyLane, do you recall that thread I posted about finding FWW's OM's engagement announcement? You suggested I let his fiancee know.

Well, last night my wife "reminded" me her OM was also seeing ANOTHER married woman while he was seeing my wife so I decided to go ahead and send an email to his fiancee. I really don't like thinking about her clicking on it, or maybe she already knows. At any rate, that is it for me in that area. I guess she does need to know about his character if she doesn't already.

Oh and it was my wife who said go ahead and email her so that kinda made me feel good.

Ugg, earlier I went on the fiancee's blog and read over and over how great he is. How great a cook he is(wife even mentioned that) and all the pictures she posted of them on vacations and holding hands. She says he is the sweetest guy on earth.

well, I guess I spoke a little too soon. After she looked at all their wedding photos(yea they actually got married, the engagement announcement was posted a few months back)

NOW, my wife is very very angry at me. She said I showed her all of that to make her feel bad. I really didn't, I showed it to her because it made ME feel bad that some guy she fooked ended up getting married and being happy(just like she said she hoped he would in the NC letter) and now I am the bad guy again.

It's been a miserable weekend. I couldn't go to work yesterday because we stayed up all night fighting about MY affair.

I should have just let sleeping dogs lie, now I'm once again scr3wed by the OM and I think my wife actually is jealous because he found another woman.

And the thug/creep/wannamesswithdestruction guy looks just soooo happy in his tuxedeo(I went digging, and for what? Nothing here. I guess wanting to hurt him instead of being a good fnckin samaritan is what I get once again; another ticket on the karma bus.

I'm tired, no sleep in two days because we've been arging nonstop. She threw dishes, microwaves, computers and guitars. Thousands of dollars worth of [censored] thrashed and she actually asked me to email her. I guess I should have let her read the woman's blog first about how great her man(FWW's OM)was.

the song remains the same.

I don't think ANY coach could do anything with this team