just wanted to add -

while you are gaining control of your life and respect, that your WW is now descending to the lonely bowels of hell. I hope your PBL gave a concise path back to the home because this will be the only flicker of light for the chaos she is entering.

hang in there, peace be with you and your family.

She most definitely knows the path back home! Though she chooses to ignore it right now, and maybe forever, she knows that there is a lighthouse guiding her back to her rightful place.

If any of you are religious and want to check something out, my wife and I started a blog several months ago that you might like.

Actually, it was her idea, but she thought it would be fun to do it together, alternating posts.

You will easily see that I have been very forthcoming about my part in all of this, while still protecting my WW's reputation throughout.

Most of the visitors are from our church (I think...until now), so that is the audience I am reaching out to. Lots of prayer requests and personal info. But none I haven't shared here.

***Edit***

Let me know what you think. If you aren't a religious person, just please appreciate that I am and respect my beliefs.

Pay special attention to the last 3 postings and comments.
I mentioned my WW's one remaining friend previously. She is the one who attempted to attack me viciously in her comment to one post, but ended up apologizing for her role in condoning the A after the next.

Cool Stuff. God's Hand is at work in all of this I know!
Hopefully, WW will start to see It as clearly as I do!

BTW, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T COMMENT ON THE BLOG SITE.
REMEMBER, YOU GUYS DON'T EXIST...YOU ARE MY INVISIBLE SUPPORT GROUP!!!

amazing turnaround of the friend - stay strong friend

Beautiful family.

Sweet blog.

But, you DO realize that WW can get her 'ab fix' simply by reading your blog.

You aren't dark enough.

Good point, marshmallow.

Do you think it would suit the purposes of Plan B, if he limited his future blog posts to discussions of the fun things he's doing with the kids, and how wonderful his life is now?

You know, it's funny...I had just had this same thought today before the comment by "anonymous."

I had decided to completely SWITCH GEARS on there and to begin to ignore this current situation.

I woke with one more thought to post this morning, and then...it's onto baseball, band, and basket-weaving (anything else!).

I can tell that many of you checked the site out(site meter). I really can never tell you how much your support means right now.

Without MB, I would still be groveling and groaning with no true plan or objective. I KNOW for certain...I would NEVER have "exposed" things the way I have. I'm sure I would have attempted to protect my WW's reputation and avoid emberassment myself.

Thanks guys, you've been great!!!

Ab

You're doing great. As Marsh keeps telling you, the darker you go, the clearer things will get for you. You're getting it. And I agree with Jayne. I would only blog about the wonderful activities you are doing with the kids and/or by yourself.

I must say you have a beautiful family. You have much to fight for.

P.S. Your son has one heck of an ERA. Wow!!! Good for him. I always enjoyed watching my son play. He wasn't into it so much, so he stopped. What can I say...I'm a baseball fan. Mets are my team.

You are blessed.

met fan I knew I smelled something bad!














Retired Yankee fan.

No doubt...Go BRAVES!

Dark is dark.

WW will get her ab fix no matter what he posts, even if it's just the grocery list.

Most BS stop posting on their Myspace/facebooks when they go to Plan B.

I suppose I do see what you're saying.
However, I think I need to just be careful not to say anything further about the current situation.

It may do her good to hear that life is going on without her!

My point exactly. I don't mean to sound harsh, but your priorities are not whether you keep this sitter or not, nor do you need to justify your decision. You have made a strong decision for your 2 year old. No more drama!!! Good job!!

LOW BLOW



And ANOTHER ONE!

Ok...I see how it is now. Ab and Road are now on my #&*^ list.

She KNOWS life is going on w/o her.

And part of what will make her feel like an outsider to her own family is NOT knowing everything that is going on.

Reading about what you and your kids are doing WILL meet her emotional family support needs.

Since you have been the children's primary caregiver, haven't you always "clued" WW in about what she missed w/ the kids? Why should you continue to meet this need?

OM should be forced to meet this need of hers.

Let him try to. Ha

I DO see your point.

It will just be hard for me to jump WAY DOWN off this soap box!

The more ENs you meet for her, the happier she'll be w/ OM.

The happier she is w/ OM, the longer her A will continue.

The more ENs you w/draw from her the more she will miss you.

The more she misses you, the faster her A will end.

The choice is yours.

You are doing this as part of a PLAN, right? When you are unsure of what to do, you refer to the plan. In Plan B, you go dark, the darker you go, the more effective it is.

You are in an incredible situation for Plan B to be effective. You are home, you are with you kids. She has abandoned her family.

Sharing your thoughts on that blog, it connects her with you. It gives her insight into your lives. It allows her to peer through the darkness, like a voyuer.

The less you let her in, the more it will dwell in her thoughts. It will put her in a bad mood, she'll obsess about it. It will insert itself into her fantasy with OM. She'll be grouchy, they'll start to fight. She'll realize he's not all that great. She'll blame him for "taking her away" from her family and kids. She'll start to see that he's not all that great, and he'll get pissed at having to deal with a moody married woman with kids.

FORCE her to deal with reality by giving her as little as possible. Let the plan work while you can.

This stuff is counter-intuitive, ab.

All BS wrestle w/ Plan B. You're not alone in this.

It is hard to do it.

But, those who finally take "that leap of faith" and go dark, will tell you they regret they didn't do it sooner.

It's diificult to let go of the control you THINK you have. On your soap box you FEEL as though you are fighting for your M. Doing something to draw her back home.

But, that's not what you are doing. You are frustrating your sitch.

Your WW knows why you are posting on that blog. She knows you want her to read it. She knows you are thinking about her and that makes her HAPPY.

If you stop posting, stop taking her calls, e-mailing her and texting her she'll begin to think she isn't the center of your world anymore. Think that thought wouldn't shake her up?

And guess what? If you quit communicating w/ her she will cease to be the center of your thoughts.

And wouldn't that be a good thing?


Absolutely!

You are in a VERY advantageous position as a BH.

Don't weaken your position by sharing it w/ her.

AB

Shut down that blog, is great advice.

ab,

What did you mean by this? What was driving a wedge between you and your WW? The kid's activities?