Ezb,
What we are drawn to in many cases is unhealthy for our souls.
We may be drawn to touch fire, drive recklessly, hit someone or something, sleep 20 hours a day...all of these take a deep permission to ignore those who have gone before, to cut out influence from words spoken to us from love.
In our lives, we grow from not knowing we are separate individual human beings, into fledgling ones, and we rebel to know we are totally separate, alone from birth to death inherently; and emerge knowing we are all one.
The process can get stuck, achieved, revisited, for a lot of reasons, ezb...when you have something outside yourself to rebel against, then you are making something/someone else more than you, giving them your own power, not recognizing freedom already in your own limits.
But this is from someone of that society you are rebelling against...which is a mind-loop for me, having been someone who rebelled against society. You were part of the society I rebelled against...for I lumped you into it before I came to know who you are...as we do, being limited humans.
Everyone who posts to you is part of society, the MB community, equal to you. Do you rebel against equality?
Again, I ask...what if you aren't drawn to who you want to be...the moth you symbolize is drawn to a false flame...because you cannot be better than the marvelous human being God created, made of love, and beloved, before you spoke one word, took one action? What if you had no need to be better...what if that flame is the false promise of your self-image, which you've been creating, sculpting, patching and shoring up for most of your life...what if it's that self-image, of your own creation, you crave to be free from?
I remember thinking in undoing my own self I could undo what was done to me before I was an adult.
LA