I guess. I don't think that it's where the funk came from, though. I almost think the letters give me an outlet for that whole 'do something' urge and are thus both positive and negative.

Here's the text of the last one I sent. It was in response to the SCQ asking me if I wanted to split time at the school open house in case I didn't want to be in the same space.

That was almost three weeks ago. She sent me what appeared to be a response asking about the status of the loan (which was a bit triggering), but I see now that her email actually came in before my email went out. Not that it makes a huge difference.

I don't know. I'm still trying to make it to the end still wanting reconciliation. I feel pretty good today. And on the whole I'm WAY better than I was a year ago. No comparison. So even when it's bad, it's not like it was before.

Me too!

Oh, and if you do give up on reconciliation, let me know and I will write your emails.

I got it again at the game on Monday. That's 3 for the last 3 on those occasions (with the SCQ but sees me). Sure, it could be a lot worse, and I guess I could get a "Ha ha, she likes me better than you" boost from it, but that whole empathy thing gets in the way. It screams "it's not supposed to be this way," which is closely followed by "it doesn't have to be this way," which makes my shoulders long for my ears.


You know, I don't think the SCQ is playing him up as a daddy stand-in. The SCQ is aware and sensitive to the fact that I am their father. I heard one time very early on about POSOM playing chess with DS8 but have heard nothing since about it, or about any kind of interaction. Nothing about playing catch or football--whenever I hear about anything, it is with the SCQ.

POSOM's wife has told me that he has never been much interested in being a parent. That he wanted her to get an abortion rather than have the second child.

I have also heard that they are not going to move in together. POSOM bought OMW out of their house, which is twenty-something miles away from where I live, but it's important to the SCQ to stay close to the school (from my MIL) and she has refused to move in with him (from POSOM's wife).

So what's the point? To live with this kind of stupid back-and-forth juggling kids situation? I guess so. Dangerous to try to figure out what's going on inside a wayward's head. Madness lies that way.

I'm better than I sound. Lots of stuff I'm venting out, and stuff that I already know, or know better than, or the like.

Gotta post more often.

I guess I got over that.

Heh. We'll have to work together on that. I'm pretty good at wielding a scalpel with language. You would take it and make it riotously funny.

SD,

I'm confused. I thought that they already did live together. No?

No. They each have their own place. She rents a condo, and POSOM recently bought out his wife. He had been living in an apartment for, what, two years now? I don't know whether or not he's moved back into the house.

Hey!, I'm The riot!

Only the Amigos and possibly Cubs fans get that one

I guess I was under the impression that POSOM and SCQ were living together, too. It is interesting that she is not planning on moving in with him. Or so they are telling people.

Probably why Jennifer has your plan tweaked a little bit.

Of course, it's hard to tell what is in the actual mind of the wayward, like you said. She may just be waiting for the "appearance" of the relationship to be more acceptable.

Your letter was so touching. Any woman in her right mind would be absolutely thrilled to get a letter like that.

You're doing fine. Keep venting and updating - it will help keep the shoulders where they belong.

Fox

Like all those years ago when the marketing genius for the Cleveland Indians decided to combine baseball bat giveaway night with nickel beer night. Who could have foreseen a problem with that?

I'm going to have to out you to my mom, BC. She's a big Riot fan.


I think about this one, too, but if this were the case, wouldn't they be doing all they could to advance the divorce? It's been dragging on forever. Even now, when the finish line is within sight, it's not the MSA she's asking about, it's whether I've started the loan process.

Isn't that weird?

I would think so.

Unless she is unsure of her actions. Maybe she is using POSOM as an excuse now to leave the M because she really doesn't see the way back to it.

She doesn't want to move forward with him.....but either doesn't want to or just can't see a way back with you.

I feel that way, as a BS. WH could walk away from Bab's right now and want to reconcile and I just don't think I would do it.

The phrase "too much has happened" is not necessarily untrue. It can be a HUGE roadblock in a person's mind. Which, really, is the reason for Plan B, I think. If you don't know too much has happened, you don't have to face it or deal with it.

She may just really be unwilling to do the work it would take for reconcilation. She may not want to move forward with POSOM and all the work THAT would take, but coming back to you would take work, too.

Maybe she just wants the easy way.

Unfortunately, there isn't one. ANY good relationship takes a certain amount of work.

Fox

And I think this (along with the SCQ's passivity) is where Jennifer's change in strategy comes in. Make sure that she knows the door is open.

What still makes the most sense to me is that she is completely the follower and under his spell. POSOM may well be satisfied the way things are. He has his house where his kids live and a playmate to help him take care of them, and he has another place to stay closer to his work for when he doesn't have his kids. And I could see it taking a LONG time for the SCQ to realize that she's not getting what she wants and even longer for her to do anything about it.

The scary parts about this are 1) the kids get shafted all along the way, and 2) she seems more interested in getting the money than in ending the marriage. But there's really nothing I can do about that.

That's where another Cleveland Indian bat night/nickel beer night could work out great!

How about shovel night?

Yep,,,,but so much easier said than done, eh?


I have a feeling it would be a SOLD OUT crowd!!


We could have both and switch from bats to shovels every other inning!

Hey, I got Bug-Bombed!

Update: It was to be the SCQ's long weekend and during it, DS8 had his last baseball games. There were games Friday night and again on Saturday morning because it was the tournament (they finished second). The SCQ had the kids for both games, which meant that she was at the games, too.

Like the previous ones, as soon as DD4 realized I was there, she came over to sit with me. She flits around, but I'll guess that she spent 50% of her time with me, 40% of her time with other kids, and maybe 10% of her time with the SCQ. She talked to other moms more than she did the SCQ. The SCQ would be sitting on a towel off by herself. It was noticed by one of the moms I am friendly with. I looked over at the SCQ from time to time and saw her texting numerous times. Very frustrating, so I'm glad the season is over.

The closing ceremonies and team party for the league were also to be held on Saturday, and on Thursday, the SCQ had asked me if I wanted to take him. I said not especially, but if he wanted me to, then I would. Friday night I got an email that DS8 wanted me to take him and further that he had asked if he could spend the night with me.

"Of course," says me, so I wound up with an extra day with DS8. I'm suspicious now that the SCQ planted the idea so that she and DD4 could have a sleepover at POSOM's, but this is just speculation.

And I should really let it go (posting it out will help me do that, I think), because I had a great time with DS8, so what the hell.

Still having some occasions where the anger seeps into my consciousness--where I start phrasing the FU to inflict maximum damage, but they don't seem to last long. The SCQ has been invading my dreams lately, and so I have been waking up with It. I wish It would go away.

I don't know if you've gone through it yet, but the anger stage is very, very intense.

It's a lot more intense than mere moments of anger. At least it was for me.

Consider getting an IC. They can help you process your anger and understand it in a way you may not be able to right now.

SD has been IC'd, AD'd, and BR'd. Big D is a SOB!!