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Mimi, Q and B do I call him on Tuesday or do i wait for his call?
What's the plan of action besides calling his parents?
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Do you have FRIENDS that you can spend time with?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Posts: 365
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Do you have FRIENDS that you can spend time with? Most of my friends r married n busy with their own lives.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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What's the plan of action besides calling his parents? Digging down deep and learning how to take care of yourself. You can't fix WH, you can't control him and you can't make him do anything. Trust me, if willing someone to do something was possible, mine would have been home by now. But he isn't. One of the VERY BASIC things in AA is ONE DAY AT A TIME. For me in the beginning it was one second at a time, literally. I talked to G-d constantly, asked him to get me through this second. STOP thinking in terms of tomorrow. Concentrate on JUST TODAY. JUST TODAY what can you do for your YOURSELF. JUST TODAY.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Most of my friends r married n busy with their own lives. So were mine. Honey, you have to HELP YOURSELF... JUST FOR TODAY. Go back and read my thread. I was absolutely DESTROYED AND CRUSHED BEYOND IMAGINATION. One Friday night I remember walking into an AA meeting literally having two choices. Blowing my brains out or drinking and using. I couldn't see life at all. I kept coming here, but the one thing I did was ACT as they TOLD ME. What can you do JUST TODAY to occupy a couple of hours. That's all.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
I am going to go for a walk now.
Maybe that might help.
Then going to come back and think about cooking.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Most of my friends r married n busy with their own lives. ONE OF THE BEST THINGS that I did for MYSELF was to invite my MARRIED girlfriends over for dinner. We didn't do much EATING..but they SHOWERED me with SO MUCH LOVE..that I will NEVER FORGET!! CALL YOUR FRIENDS..NOT to talk about your WH..JUST TODAY (like Queenie is saying)..just for some VALIDATION of their LOVE for YOU!! Say something like : "I just need to hear your voice and to say hello"...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Brown, The INDY 500 is ON. Go watch it, it will take up time.
One thing that I have absolutely been afraid to do since this mess is quilt. It was something I LOVED with all my heart, and since D-day I haven't touched it for that purpose.
For you, to show you that we can heal, I promise to find the strength somehow to pull out my machine and sew something for my quilt or start to complete the one I have put off for so long.
This is for YOU... To show YOU, that we CAN HEAL. But WE HAVE to DO IT..we have to ACT. We have to TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES. If/when your H comes home you are going to need all your strength to get through recovery. You have lessons to learn, but it takes time and it can't be done all in one day.
So today, what can you do?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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What about your HOUSE? Can you DO some CLEANING or REDECORATING? I went out and found a GIRLIE BEDSPREAD that my WH would have hated, all PINK and FLOWERY..painted my bedroom walls a MINT GREEN...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Posts: 15,310
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It's called ACT as IF..your ACTIONS will signal to your MIND that YOU are POWERFUL and can heal and move on..
YOUR MIND has to take CONTROL over YOUR EMOTIONS...
Your goal is MIND CONTROL!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365
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Q & Mimi
Just came back from my walk, feeling a bit better.
I need to get back to study mode. I need to study for my exams, passing them would mean a promotion, which would mean an achievement in my life.
Tomorrow I am going to try to study. I am going to show him that I am a better person.
That i can achieve my dreams without him.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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I forgot what you are studying. Why not study some today and some tomorrow? Like the others are saying, just start doing things for YOU. One thing will build on another and soon you will be feeling better.
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go get a manicure
go get a pedicure.
study study study and get that promotion.
do not call him on tuesday, just my opinion and i already explained why earlier.
mimi is right,you need to live "as if". live your life right now as if it were already exactly the way you wanted it. that is how one should think when they are working towards a change. when i think of something i want to change in my life, i try to start living right now as if my life were already the way i wanted it to be.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Studying accountancy exams. Studied a little bit yesterday n today. Did some cooking today, i like cooking.
It's raining quite a lot today otherwise wud have gone for a run.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Good for you.
That's awesome...
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365 |
Hi All
Managed to get through most of today without breaking down. Made some coconut rolls covered in chocolate.
I miss him a lot, we used to cook together a lot. But today's cooking was therapeutic.
Went shopping with my niece
How r u Q?
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
GOOD FOR YOU, THAT'S AWESOME.....
SEE YOUR DOING IT....
As Mimi says - HEAD UP, CHEST OUT....
I always added, SMILE GLOWING AND HEART FULL OF LOVE....
Because that's who I am... Full of love...
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
NOW, YOU'VE GOT IT, BROWN!! You are doing GREAT!! 
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365 |
Q - u do come up with good quotes. I think we all have a lot of love to give.
So how's your day been? What plans for today?
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 365 |
I am trying guys  But I do feel weepy at times, like right now I miss those hugs.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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