Stunned...just sitting here "jaw on the floor" stunned.



committed

pm,

I think there are more VETS here than you realize. I have read several recent posts from some that state that they are "lurking" instead of posting because the board is not the same.

My suggestion about the summary of the past in the new post was simply a direction in perhaps finding the happy medium. What is the happy medium? This subject is definitely not one-sided. There are people on both sides. Why does one side have to win?

If a new poster comes here and within a few days starts several threads basically asking the same or similar questions they will (and SHOULD) be advised to keep it all on one thread.

Because sadly most affairs follow the same old patterns.
And because MB is a process in which certain steps need to be taken at certain times.

Following that story as it evolves and moves through suspicion, discovery, confrontation, etc is a lot easier to do IN ONE THREAD. And if the poster insists on starting a new topic each time something new develops they will not be getting the best use out of this forum. Because they will get random posts from strangers rather than those who have followed them from day to day and know the intricacies of the situation.

But hey - they can do what they want. I hope you will be here to research all their questions and give them sound advice based on all the information scattered across multiple threads. Cuz I don't have time to spend HOURS on here doing that.

So if you were in IC and your counselor told you, skip to the good stuff, I really don't have time for this. Would that be OK?

Just seems like a way for someone to have a "one up" on someone else. Not seeing where it is helpful.

IC and counselors are PAID

if you raise MY pay Ucan, I'll follow YOUR rules

Pep

Lexxy,

You are right on point....so take it further.

Now what happens if we are months into it and there are "other" situations occurring as we all know happen during any grief process....why should that person have to stay on the original thread?

I'm not referring to posters that are all over the board posting each thought. I still don't think it's anyone's place to chastize, however, I can see a gently nudge and EXPLANATION as to the benefit of why it makes sense, especially in the beginning to stay on point.

But what about after? And what about the "REALLY BAD DAY" when you need all the support you can get and maybe you don't have the traffic anymore on your old thread.

These are just thoughts that some of us have. I don't think it's a bad thing to talk about this.

Pep,

Yeah, I knew as soon as I used the IC someone would be keen enough to catch the "paid" part.

Replace with Pastor (of course then you have education, etc. involved).... but I think you get my gest.

I'm not trying to start a war, I just think it's something that should be discussed.

I don't get your gist - it's a mystery to me what you are trying to accomplish here ... ?

Pep

ML,

You are obviously a supporter of the one thread rule, that is your choice. But not everyone feels that way. And the number of posts that you have on this board nor the number of years that you have on this board should not warrant dictating the rules of the game.

People are suffering in this game. They don't need to be told that they have to show their suffering in a way that is convenient for someone else in order to get help for it.

Several people have made good suggestions in this thread. Hopefully it will help a new person.

Trying to make it a personal attack certainly isn't going to help anyone, but again, that's your choice.

onlyucan, when can we expect to see YOU helping others around here? I have been here for 7 years and don't even know who you are. You haven't been here helping people yourself.

I'm not really clear what the goal is either. ? ? ? ?

Can you point out an example of an established poster who was chided for starting a second thread?

First of all, I would be PAYING an IC. His time is MY time....because I am $ paying $ for it.

That is like comparing apples to oranges in this venue.

This people are volunteering time...and UNPROFESSIONAL... NOT PAID FOR advice.

People here are helping as much as they can. They don't have enormous amounts ot time required to ferret through the mass multiple postings to get up to speed on the current situation.

It's not possible to do that. They have a life too. Some people post so much to help people here that I don't know how is doesn't effect their own marriages.

Those people should be bragged on...not told that they might not need to be here.

committed

Where have YOU been in the past 7 years while we have been here helping people? WHO ARE YOU? I don't even know who you are.