Exactly Believer. I believe and have lived that covenant. It's real enough for me.

I'm glad there are others who have experienced it!

"What GOD has brought together..."

He's asking for a public meeting place so you'll have a subdued reaction to whatever the issue is.

He may even be planning something whacky like bringing OW along to the meeting ... I say

screw his request

How about acceptance on the condition that his relationship with OW is over? That shows receptivity.
Cherishing

this does not jibe with his insistence on a public meeting place

Good news he'd deliver one on one.

Pep

I tend to agree with Pep.

Maybe OW is jealous and won't let him meet me anywhere that isn't public. And its probably not good news for me or at least that's what he thinks! So screw him, I'm not meeting him anywhere public!

BTW he hasn't answered...because I don't think he checks his e mail except when he's at his lab in the afternoons.

The point is to show receptivity. If you deny his request to meet because you assume that good news would not be delivered in a public place (which I think is an assumption that borders "foregone conclusion" -- a very reasonable assumption to make), well, then you are not conveying the message that you are still receptive to reconciliation. If you are receptive, make that pont by saying you are willing to meet if OW is out of the picture and he wants to work on a program of reconciliation. That's Harley's approach to ending Plan B.
Cherishing

wise words from cherishing

this depends on what you consider "good news". For me divorce is good news, he probably think that I believe it is bad news.

After such a long time I truly cannot say whether I am or not receptive to reconciliation. I have completely lost all the anchors I had. Reconcile with who? He's a complete stranger to me.

This morning I thought I might write to him saying that if he wanted to talk to me of divorce, it was OK with me, to just go ahead and do it. We didn't need to meet for that. It's expected and welcome.

But now I'm thinking that although that is most probably the reason he wants to talk to me, thinkng that that news must be delivered in person although in public, maybe it's something else. I know OW wanted kids and he said he didn't, but maybe she got pregnant anyway...

To start with I won't do anything today and see if he answers my e mail asking why in public.

As time goes by I am more convinced that he either meets me at home, or he tells me by e mail. I am not meeting him in public, it is stupid!

Thanks Cherishing, I will take you ideas into account.

I would do whatever would make YOU the HAPPIEST at this point!

For FUN, what would THE MONK say???

The monk would say: let him go! and that's what I want to do... and the truth is that I don't care at all about money etc. Nor would the monk, obviously. Thank God y daughters are grown up!

I am quite sure I won't meet with him in public.

You and I soooo THINK alike. I was THINKING this and you had already said it..LOL...

Decide if you are willing to talk with him. It may be that there is no point in your meeting no matter what he has to say.

Cherishing

Well he hasn't answered so we continue to wait.

Maybe he wants you to go to Wal-Mart and shop with him?

NO?

It really doesn't sound like there is anything earth shattering that he can say to you.

Is this really a big deal to you? How does it FEEL that he wants to talk to you?
SS

It feels like a hassle!

I know I have to get divorced and it's the only thing I need to be able to feel free. Once I find out what kind of financial situation I will be in I can plan my life.

So divorce news is expected and in the end hoped for, a bit frightening but it's something I know I have to go through, like delivery, you know. Not pleasant but necessary.

Now any other news, I don't care about. It shouldn't make any difference to MY LIFE.

He hasn't answered so I'll wait until sunday an send him an e mail saying I will only meet him here, if he really wants to talk to me. And I'll do that because I'm a nice person. It's his problem, not mine.

he just answered saying that it was in public because he preferred it that way. I e mailed back I was not going because I didn't prefer it so to come to the house.

Why would it matter so much to him where he met you? You can't know for certain, of course, but I applaud you for not letting him push you around! You're showing him that you're not going to beg for him to come back to you. If he even wants to speak with you, it's on your terms -- NOT on his. After what he's put you through, I think that's great!
Cherishing

About an hour after the email exchange WH picked DDs up for dinner!

he could have asked me to go to the door and get all this over with!

This is ridiculous!!!!!!!