Well, just so you are all forewarned I don't mind telling you right at this moment i am more drunker than 3 pirates in Barbados after a long week of plunderin'. See, that didn't make much sense but you get the picture.

For some background please take a look at my recovery thread – BoW's rebuilding effort. Some of you might read that and see some red flags when i say im a bit wary that there are no severe withdrawal symptoms. Well...lets see who can guess why that was...hmm... perhaps because the the WW was not in fact i9n withdrawal but, in fact, still very much involved in a full blown, OM boinkin, BH lying to AFFAIR!!!!.

Yes, yup, yipper, thats the truth. No recovery at all because she happens to be still involved and for that matter has never stopped being involved in an AFFAIR!!!! Now to the sixty four thousand dollar question WHY? Ah.. Why, Why indeed. Well, lets see, because she doesn't care about the 12 years of marriage we had, about the two miscarriages we survived, crying in each others arms. About the two long years we spent trying to get pregnant again and the beautiful 7 year old DD and 5 year old DD and DS twins. Because she doesn't care about the last 5 months of hell Ive lived through trying to fix this god awful mess she made! Because she doesn't care about the fact that her elderly parents live with us and tonight they go to bed not knowing where they will be living three months from now! Because she doesn't care that I left my family (FOO) and moved three thousand miles to be with her in the first place!

No, I hear you cry those are not good reasons! Why? Why would anyone possibly do this. Hmm lets see, to be with a 26 year old guy who she used to work with, who got dumped by his fiance, who is now unemployed, who then got back with his former fiance and started cheatin on her again, who doesn't have a job! who lives with his parents and who is about to leave in 3 weeks and join the Marine Corps. (i suppose the forgein legion would not have him!).

Well, by god, now it makes perfect sense! Why wouldn't any woman jump at that opportunity. Who could resist. To hell with by BH's plan A! To hell with marriage counseling! And to hell with the three little kids who look at her each day with absolute confidence that she will always guide them and protect them in this world! To hell with all of that! And in particular, and with much gusto, to hell with my BH and his ridiculous Marriage Building ideas. Who needs that. I have my 26 year old, no job, no house, leaving in three weeks, loser and all is well with the world!

So what next for me the BH?? Plan A, Plan B, Plan D, Plan FU, F Him and F every body else!! The BH who just 2 days ago felt secure enough to start a recovery thread, the BH who got so ahead of himself that he thought he could start giving out advice to other BH's!! What next for the BH?? Well, for the next hour or so perhaps it will be plan Miller time, and then in the morning plan Advil, and then plan god knows what! But even in this state I do know a couple of things. I will NEVER let those kids down like she has and I am so glad that I am me and not her.

Good evening!

I am so very sorry. Not sure what else to say right now, but hang in there, you have friends here. I realize that may seem small comfort at the moment.

After you rest, let us know how you are, where you are, how you found out and if the kids are OK.

Wow. I would love to be pounding the Miller's down with you.

Get flippin mad, feel every crappy feeling and emotion you have, because you deserve it. And your right, be glad you are you and she is she.

And remember, that on here you have many people who care for you and would rip your WW to shreds if we could.

{{{{{{{{{Better}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Gosh, sorry to hear the latest.

I forgot to look. Did you last 24 hours on recovery? Sometimes it seems like a curse to go there.

So, good job in catching her. You were smart to keep checking. Be sure to let the OM's girlfriend know what is going on.

He will be gone in 3 weeks? That is good news, since he seems like such a prize. Lucky Marine Corps.

One thing I did notice is that you work opposite shifts. That is never good for a marriage. You need to change that if it is at all possible.

What does your wife say? I think I would ask her to leave the home since she is going to continue to lie and disrespect you.

I wouldn't get into any discussions with her tonight while you are drinking. Is she around?

(((((BetterorWorse)))))...

I am so, so sorry...Know that you have prayers coming your way...

Mrs. W

B, I appreciate the concern, she is around in this vast laberinyth of a house that i slave to afford but given the choice between drinking and discussing I chose drinking! She is asleep somewhere and I will not be disturbing her.

Queenie, i will drink one on your behalf! thankyou!

Why thank you, Better.....

Mrs. W. all prayers welcome, thankyou!

BoW:

I'm sorry you are going through this nightmare.

Stay strong Brother, and don't engage your WW tonight while you are self-medicating...nothing good can come of that.

You are absolutely right...you are doing right by your kids, no matter what you decide when you are clear-headed.

Again, I am so sorry that you must deal with having the rug pulled out from under you...I will pray for you and your children.

LoBoy

Well, do you feel like talking about how you found out, or would you prefer to just drink away the pain?

Just be very careful. We've had several BH's here get thrown out of their own home after a bit of an altercation.

Relapses are common and can be worked out. For one thing, the loser will be gone soon.

Sounds like she really affaired down. But you need to realize that he was meeting some need of hers.

Have you figured out what that was?

BoW,

This is for when you wake up tomorrow. You have a long "to do" list in my mind.

1. See a lawyer about custody, plan B (can you move out), better yet can you move HER OUT?

2. Strongly consider plan B.

3. Get on a job schedule that allows you to take care of the kids when they are not in school.

4. Notify OM's GF about this.

5. I presume her folks now know what she is doing, if not tell them.

6. Consider going to physican and obtaining some anti-D's for dealing with this mess for awhile.

7. I would tell you to notify the marines, the want a "few good men". He is not among them. It may not work but it is worth a thought.

8. If you are a church going man, go to the minister and talk.

9. Find a counselor for you to talk to as well.


It is going to be awhile before you even want to deal with this mess, but start laying the ground work so that you know what you can do and what you cannot do, and the cost of either.

I am so sorry this has happened to you BoW, you and your family do not deserve this.

God Bless,

JL

Please don't even think about moving out. If anyone moves, let it be her!

I am praying for you right now.

Believer, first and foremost, dont worry about me. There will be no altercations this evening i asure you, and again, i appreciate the concern.

I thoought i was getting pretty good at this snooping stuff, but she went WAY underground! We did the emmotinonal needs test yesterday and i thought, wow, this reads just like it would have had we took it in february! Then today I cant account for her whereabouts for 1 hour! Just one hour but my gut said it didnt feel right and i pressed and pressed and got a lie that made no sense to i presssed and pressed again and got some partial truth and i kept pressing and she finally gave up that she had really not stopped seeing him at all!

My instict is an immediate plan B, if not plan D! but him leaving in 3 weeks adds a twist. Need to think about that..

Just leave things as they are. Three weeks is nothing in the scheme of life. Then he will be GONE and maybe wifey will snap out of it. Gosh, I sure hope the Marines don't change their mind.

See if you can rest and get some sleep. I'm sorry it has been such a bad day.

BoW:

Well heck. Sometimes it is that the infidels just won't give up trying to tear you down. "Self-medicating" - LoBoy, good one.

It is all a sordid script. I think it was WAT who said that affairees build themselves up through lies and more lies and more mental gymnastics to the point where they cannot see the ground below them. When the balloon breaks, it is a looooong way down and the thump is so loud, you can hear it before it happens.

Infatuation based affairs have predictable ends. And they all follow a common script. That doesn't mitigate the pain you are going through; nothing can do that. Hang on to every shred of dignity, honor and decency you can, the kids need you. Do follow JL's advice and protect yourself. Unfortunately some of the predictable endings can have very negative outcomes for the betrayed as the waywards attempt to blame everyone but themselves for the usual consequences.

All the best BoW, hang in there. Just be careful. See what you can do to keep loser boy from knocking her up or giving her some unpleasant disease. Reality will kill the fog sooner or later.

Larry

Yes waiting till the am would probably be wise but here i am and ther it is..

oh, i am soo not moving out, if anyone is, she is. I will see a lawyer but i can tell you they are going to need all kinds of law enforcement to get me to move out!


Plan B is my first thought but the OM leaving in three weeks combined with she will probably refuse to move out..does this make plan B an even better option or possibly room for more plan A??

Would love too, unfortunatly i have a 1 hour commute so i need some coverage before and after school, can be done, the IL's have offered to help..


Done! message left on phone, will provide full details when she calls back.


Yup, they are disgusted with her.


Other than my self administered AD's this evening, i think im ok compared to first D-Day but will keep in mind if necessary.


Interesting, not a good man but as far as im concerned they can have him! For the 12 weeks or as long as he lasts!


Catholic. I will, I should hav months ago.


I may..


I appreciate it JL, but even in my progressivly drunken state I know I will start dealing tomrrow AM. Thankyou.

Ooh, im not, thankyou for the prayers!

Is your WW Catholic? Is she usually serious about her faith?

Larry

Larry, thankyou for your concern, She is not serious about her faith. I am the serious one and, frankly, i have not been all that serous until all this started. We used to attend weekly. She stopped in January, said she didnt feel comfortsble!, i still do, with the kids.