Mine turns 13 on July 10. MY older 2 kids made the transition from childhood to teenager fairly quietely, but this last one is a pistol. She's more like her mother, but you didn't hear that from me.

I quite agree with this. Sometimes there is such a thing as too much guilt. She is quite lucky, also, that you are not one of those vengeful BS's who punish her beyond the point of what she deserves.

Also, that sounds like a great place to be, and with gas prices the way they are, well, ...how many people could say they took a vacation and used no gasoline to do so?

How are you doing, RB? Your family has been in my prayers.

KIR,

Thanks for checking up. We have actually been out of town on vacation since last Friday and just arrived home about an hour ago. We had a great time together and with the kids and spent almost no time on relationship stuff. It was a much needed break that I think we all needed. We have a long road ahead of us, so it was nice to get recharged to face whatever is up ahead.

I still can't tell that she's pregnant just by looking at her although she said that she is beginning to feel her clothes fitting a little tighter. She is pretty petite, so it probably won't be long before she looks really pregnant. I am trying to prepare myself to deal with that. I was able to have a great time last week with almost no triggers, but I know that this is the calm before the storm.

She is actually doing everything that you could ask of her to help recover our marriage. That is helping me more than anything else at this point. I really feal for those that have to deal with longterm foggy waywards. My wife has spent a lot of time in Bible study and prayer over the past 3 weeks or so and I truly believe that I have seen real repentance from her. I am hanging onto that to help me deal with what's up ahead.

Now it's time to leave vacation land behind and return to the real world.

It's great to hear from you, RB! It sounds like things are going much better than they could be. However, I do realize the hard part is not over. You have many people who care and will continue to pray for strength and wisdom in the upcoming decisions.

Thank you for updating us!

Well, I did something last night that was pretty stupid, but it felt sooooooo good. I stopped by Starbucks on the way home from a late business meeting and who did I see sitting in the corner but OM and an attractive lady who was not his wife. They were sitting very close on a sofa tucked into a little nook in the back of the store. When I noticed the wedding ring on her hand, I just kind of lost it a bit.

Before he saw me, I took a picture of them all hugged up together and holding hands with my cell phone and sent it to his wife. Then, I went over and sat down in the chair across from them and very calmly asked him “ so, are you planning on fxxking her like you did my wife?” I guess I caught him off guard, because he started to stand and I met him half way and shoved him back onto the couch and told him that he was lucky that all I did when I caught him with my wife was throw his clothes into the yard. As I turned to leave, I looked back and said “you may want to call your wife, because I just sent her a really interesting picture” and I held up my phone as I left.

As luck would have it, his wife called me as I was getting back in my car and asked where I took the picture. She was absolutely STEAMING. Apparently, he was back in town to meet the movers who were packing their stuff and moving them to their new house. She couldn’t come, because she had some knee surgery last week and didn’t feel like traveling. She recognized the lady in the picture as her old neighbor and had immediately forwarded the picture to the lady’s husband. I’m guessing that there were a couple of interesting spousal discussions going on last night.

I know I should probably have just quietly left with my drink without saying or doing anything, but I just couldn’t help myself. The question is do I tell my wife about this little incident? I want to be totally honest with her, but I don’t know if this is something that she really needs to hear at this point. She was already in bed when I got home last night so I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet. I feel like it would probably be best to tell her, but how much detail should I give her?

On the recovery front, things continue to move forward slowly. I’m having a hard time talking about this baby or just hearing her talk about it. She came home from her Dr appt on Monday and was excited about hearing a heartbeat, but I found it hard to even listen to her telling DD19 about it. I’ve already told her that I don’t think I’m going to be able to go with her to any of her appts or even participate very much in this pregnancy at this point. Knowing me, I am confident that I will be able to bond with this child when I can actually see and hold him/her. But, right now, I’m just not ready for that. But, she continues to work on our marriage and that is very encouraging.

Who else but me thinks that RB actually has a big "S" tattooed on his chest?

That.

Was.

AWESOME.



(and I think you did the right thing)

I agree! Bravo! Bravo!!

I haven't agreed with much of anything that rb65 has done since the pregnancy was confirmed, (those were his choices and his life to live) but I REALLY like his style when he has dealt directly with the OM. Kudos to you on your actions, rb65!!!

Classic!!! Now THERE'S a good use for the cell phone when an affair is involved! Good job!

Sounds like a great scene for a movie. I would LOVE to see that on the big screen. Bravo!

Yeah, tell your wife. Be humble about it and honest. She should understand.

RB,
I gotta say, I like your style!

And no, I wouldn't tell your W about this, cos this was between you and OM. It was your own personal satisfaction, if you will.

It will only depress your W even further and make her realize how used she was by OM.

This was between you and OM. Had a couple of those encounters myself. Felt good, actually!

All Blessings,
Jerry

I think that depression and realizing how used she was by OM would be good for your wife. I also feel that you would handle giving her the info masterfully. Way to go RB. An opportunity like that would have really accelerated my post A healing.

Kudos RB!

Say

If I were in her shoes, I would have to say that I would want to know about this encounter with the OM. First off, I would be even more aware of your strength (and secretly impressed by it.) Also, it would help me remember just how awful the whole situation is, so that if EVER I found myself pining over the OM, I would know for SURE that he used me.

These situations don't come up as coincidences. I would use it!

I don't know if you should tell your wife or not, but just gotta tell you, that was an awesome story. Good job!

Wow, Loser Man didn't waste any time hooking up with another OW did he?

You are my freakin hero!

GREAT JOB!

I am glad to see someone (an innocent spouse on MB) with some GUTS!

Whew! I was afraid all the innocent spouses here were wimps!

1. Good going taking the picture!

2. You could put it online with his name and address (U-Tube and others)

3. Show your wife over and over.

4. Make color copies and send them to everyone he knows and your wife knows.

5. Publish it in the paper, the picture, with a detailed explanation, you cannot use swear words in the paper.

I would do these things and about 30 other things with that picture. It is the truth plain and simple. YAY!

RB:

That was right thing to do.

Tell your W. She will she even MORE what a mistake that guy was.

LG

I would blow up a HUGE 3 foot by 2.5 foot poster size picture of this idiot and his new HO. Then hang it in your kitchen. Or somewhere where your wife sees it all day.

I had a huge poster made up of a picture of my cat. Pictures come out good and make a big statement on the wall if they are bigger than lifesized!