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{{{{{{{{{{{Cinder}}}}}}}}}}}}}
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Queenie, here is your very own distraction! I hunted for it JUST FOR YOU but I will allow you to share it!!! Pick Yourself Up
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Thank you so much.
Cinder, why do I have to be someone who feels so deeply? Why can't I be like the rest of the world and just say screw him and walk away.
Why do I keep loving him and having FAITH in G-d that my M will be restoree.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 15,150
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Hope springs eternal.
Once upon a time, I went to a session at a religious convention. I went to this session only....not the other three days of sessions. The speaker was a conservative Christian minister who had been divorced and later remarried - to the same woman.
His opinion was there is hope for any marriage - until one of the partners marries someone else. At that time, the previously marriage is irretrievably broken.
Queenie, I spent 2.5 years fighting for my marriage. I had multiple appts with my internist to deal w/ stress related conditions caused by wanting that marriage so badly. After 2.5 years, I decided I had to stop the insanity.....you know, when the doctor tells you that you are a few heartbeats a minute away from tachycardia, you know you have to do something to regain some control. That's how far I went to keep my marriage. That was when I finally succumbed and filed for a divorce.
I wasted a lot of years being depressed about it. So many years that it saddens me sometimes.
"Let go and let G-d"
Queenie, you can only do so much. Your h is just in some spiritual wilderness.
I entertained the idea that my h could come back until he married wife #2. But, the reality is, that the man I married may have been a sham, a lie.
Right now, maybe what you need to do is pray for you to be restored. For you to be healed.....and for your husband to be healed.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My analogy:
A marriage is like a car. It is made of multiple parts.
If the car (marriage) breaks down, you want to fix it. So, you take it to the mechanic (counselor). If he just pokes on it, nothing will really change. First he has to figure out what is really wrong. Then he has to fix the broken pieces (people). As long as the pieces (people) remain broken, the car (marriage) can't be fixed.
Now, you want the marriage fixed. Right? So, you can only do so much. You can pray. You can work on Queenie. But, you can not fix your husband. He has to want to be fixed. Until he is fixed, the marriage can't be fixed.
Now, G-d can work miracles. He does that daily. But, He has given us the freedom to choose many things. And, in this case, your husband has the freedom to choose to remain broken. Until he surrenders to G-d's healing, he may remain broken.
You are not all powerful in this situation. G-d, having given mankind the power to choose, is not all powerful in all situations. Because, we can choose to turn away from Him.
G-d CAN restore your marriage. But, your husband has to choose personal healing and restoration.
I know there are many who might think this view is a bit heretical but there are many examples of G-d not getting His way. Of His children wandering in their own spiritual wilderness.
Queenie, you may just have to Let Go & Let God on this one.
Think about the 12 Steps....we admitted we are powerless. We turned things over to our higher power.
Hope is one thing.
But don't let hoping for something you can't control ruin the here and now!
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MICAH 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
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(((((CINDERS)))))
YOU ARE SOOO WONDERFUL!!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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YOU ARE SOOO WONDERFUL!!! And INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT.... Cleary I am fighting taking care of myself. I have LET him GO. But at all costs, I don't want to learn about MYSELF... So if anything that is what I should be praying for.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 15,310
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I don't want to learn about MYSELF...
So if anything that is what I should be praying for. EXACTLY...This is YOUR LIFE JOURNEY..and no one elses... HE HAS GREAT THINGS IN STORE FOR YOU...if you follow HIM and BELIEVE in HIM...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Posts: 6,643
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I love you......
I'm off to go take family pictures with my three children and SIL. This is HUGE for me.
I am also asking my kids to bring their tallits.... This day is a gift from G-d.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 15,150
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Queenie, I had this huge post here for you....I am moving it to your thread. I can put it back only if you think it needs to be more broadly shared.
Last edited by cinderella; 06/08/08 01:49 PM. Reason: moved it to Queenie's thread
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I'm bumping this up to find it in case I had something GODDESSY to say or to talk about...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I just LOVE being a WITNESS to all MY GIRLS' PERSONAL GROWTH!!
THANK YOU FOR ENRICHING MY LIFE BY ALLOWING ME TO WATCH YOU BLOSSOM!!
CC...
BUGSY...
QUEENIE...
SL...
NOT2...
HTM...
CHAI...
LUNA...
CHARLOTTE...
Brown..you're still a BABE..no caps for you yet...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Posts: 6,643
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Thank you for being a part of OUR LIVES. You have touched mine in ways that are only beginning to change. And how you have touched others' is beyond words to describe. Just with LOVE in our Hearts.... 
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 15,310
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The CIRCLE goes UNBROKEN...
I was touched by ANGELS here myself...
Missing BR, too...
I still have my LA...
And NOW..I have all of YOU..it helps ME so much to see you BLOSSOM..just like MY FLOWERS growing in the yard...
EVIDENCE of GOD'S presence..his GRACE...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Ooops and, of course, RIN..not to be forgotten..aka STRIVN...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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EVIDENCE of GOD'S presence..his GRACE... And that Satan isn't winning. Even though there is still BAD in the world. Those who follow G-d are still on the winning side. The GODDESS and WARRIOR side.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 15,150
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sniff....sniff....sniff
I guess Mimi doesn't think I'm very goddessy since I'm a princess.
sniff....sniff....sniff
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(((((((CINDERS))))) YOU'VE ALREADY BLOSSOMED..YEARS AND YEARS AGO... Actually, you are a SEQUIOUA MY CINDERS... ClICK HERE
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Cinders..I truly think that you are ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE..INSIDE AND OUT...!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Nothing but a big old immovable thing, huh?
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Nothing but a big old immovable thing, huh? How's that for STINKIN' THINKIN'!! Going to visit the FOREST in CALIFORNIA was one of my most unforgettable experiences. That's why I thought of you. You are SOLID, girlie. Your EFFECT is FAR-REACHING.. Shall I go on, PRINCESS?????
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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