Yep, little boys are a whole nuther story. But mine always enjoyed making cards - and I still have ALL of them. Their dad left when they were very young, so they always surprised me with homemade cards for all of the holidays since they really couldn't buy me anything.

You are doing just fine. Keep it up.

I'll try to find some of those stories here. They would make good reading for you. There was ALL KINDS of discussion on whether a dad has a "right" to be in the delivery room.

And then it was amazing how fast they pulled their heads out of their a**s.

I seriously hope so. I know that he loves children so very, very much. It's just so weird because he has this huge loving heart and he's so charming and full of life, just like DD5. It's weird for him to be so mean and cold. I guess that is the WH.

I feel better than I did earlier. I had some sad thoughts going on, but I'm okay now. I talked with my mom and best friend and they had some great stuff to say.

Homemade cards are the greatest. I would rather have those than store bought. They are so much more heart felt and they take such pains to make them perfect. It's very sweet. I have all the cards that they have made me too. Bless the schools for making them sometimes....LOL like when DD12 is in one o' her moods

We just got on the webcam and took some new pictures. DD5 is silly and dancing around. It makes us all laugh to just take pictures and laugh at our silly faces. I'm glad that WH and I have raised them to find pleasure in the simple things and not expect to only have fun when lots of money is spent. They really are great kids. Sometimes I forget when they are being difficult, but they always remind me and then I feel bad that I forgot.

WH has kids today. They (the kids) are so excited. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself though, since I'm off of work!

Glad you are getting a little break.

Relax and pamper yourself. No need to be busy all of the time.

I STILL can't find the threads. The search feature here sucks.

Yeah I know. Did the search feature used to work? I would love to read other threads with pregnant BS's. It might give me some insight.

So far, I've just been playing pc games and laying around. I have to admit that I'm bored and it's so quiet around here!

Is it normal to not really feel as though things are done? I mean I accept at the moment that he doesn't want to be with us, but it just doesn't feel OVER. I KNOW in my heart and my mind that he is going to wake up, but what I don't know is if I am just fooling myself because it's what I think I want sometimes. Does that make sense?

I'm sure he will be back. That is why a dark Plan B is so important, so that you will still have some love/positive feelings for him.

Hope you are relaxing and enjoying yourself.

Yes, I would say that is completely normal. Everything you're experiencing is normal, and MB is great cuz you can come here & share it while maintaining some degree of sanity. Prior to being here, what did we have? Ignorant MILs & pushover friends & neighbors that just don't get it!!

I'm finally allowing myself to say I DON'T know for sure, after insisting for months that I KNOW this will end with us still married, happily ever after. Truth is, I don't know. I also don't know if, when he finally does wake up, I'll still be interested. Or if I'll ever be "worth" returning to. There's one quick way to find out though: drop all my crazy boundaries and new-found standards & take him back as-is. But, that ain't happenin'.

I know what you mean. I don't know even now if we could really reconcile completely. It just seems like too much has happened. I don't know. I miss him sometimes, but sometimes I don't. I would like to have my family back together, but I just can't imagine what it would be like. Things will never be as they were and I don't know if it would be any better. I sometimes feel like he would be bored now at home, that I would be too "boring" for him now or something. I have no idea why I should feel that way because pretty much all he does is go to his friends houses to play video games. I don't know. It would feel weird.

But, it doesn't feel completely OVER. I guess that is just because we haven't filed or anything, I don't know. I'm just confused.

Take heart. It always seems like too much has happened. But these things turn around everyday. Your hubby is young and that is half of the problem. But if he was a good husband and father before, he can be again.

MIL called and apologized about yesterday. She said that something I wrote in the email really hit her too. She said that he is getting to do whatever he wants and has no responsibilities, etc and it's not right. She said that she better not find out that he isn't giving me extra money besides what is order for child support. I made sure to let her know that I have received NOTHING from him since the middle of May. She wasn't very happy about that. She said that she and FIL are really going to crack down on WH.

We'll see.

But, it was nice that she called to apologize.

BLW, feel free to check out my thread here if you'd like. I feel EXACTLY the same way it sounds as though you are. Sometimes CERTAIN that WW will wake up and realize all that she has done wishing to R. At other times, convinced that it IS all over and that I should just move on. Still again, wondering if I truly still wish for R myself!

It IS an internal roller coaster, but definitely stick to Plan B for as long as you can! If you read my thread, you will see that I have several times turned away from the "Plan," only to be manipulated and drawn back in from the solace I had previously achieved.

No Contact is extremely difficult with someone you are accustomed to speaking with every day for years. But, you are better off NOT trying to keep up with the daily activities of a wayward, and you will drive yourself nuts by trying to piece the puzzle together by yourself. The wayward holds the final and largest piece, you can't complete this without them.

Admittedly, I am a novice at the MB principles and have chosen to ignore them at times. Trust me, these guys know what they're talking about, many of them have years of experience and see the same pattern repeated over and over. The wayward may never return (you may not even want them to eventually), but you can improve yourself and your emotional state much better with a strong Plan B in place!

I don't want to know what he does on a daily basis. Nothing that interests me I'm sure. I keep seeing that sidebar while I'm typing and it reads: Too much has happened. I feel that way too.

How can I expect him to get tired of the OW and want to come back home if he only talks to her on the phone or the pc? He hasn't seen her in awhile, at least to my knowledge, because of his car and becasue of their work schedules. I don't know if it's so much her anymore or if it's just that he really doesn't want to be with me.

Oh and on a good note, I guess, I got called about setting up an interview for that HR position. I don't know if I even want it now. That would mean staying around here and I really don't want to do that. Of course, I can't think just of myself, I have to consider the girls. They wouldn't mind staying around here, so I guess it's all in God's Hands.

BLW: You ask a good question, one that none of us can answer - for you or for ourselves!

Do you believe in coincedences? I do not, so I say go to the interview. It's a chance to dress up, meet someone new, smile, laugh, talk about YOU, and it may lead to something BIG for you!

I also vote you STOP considering your WH with every passing thought. I know it's hard, but you'll probably agree it feels kinda like digging a hole, no?

OH, I just remembered you saw him recently - was that yesterday? Enter Square One...again. Be warned. My advice: beware future "accidental" encounters AND avoid MIL!!

Oh, I hope you go to the interview. I think it is always good practice, whether you want the job or not.

I plan to go to the interview. I could change my mind at any time and decide that I DO want the job (if I even get it). It would be great to have a nice paying job again where I get to see people alot and get dressed up.

Saw an old friend today and she was asking how things were going. I told her about WH leaving and her reply was, "you don't need him anyway, he was never good to you." That seems to be the consensus with every female I've spoken to who knew or knows him. It's funny.

I still can't make up my mind about what I want to do. I really want to move, but something is keeping me here and I'm not sure what it is. I know that it's not WH because I think that the family moving away from him would be a huge wakeup call, but I'm not sure what is keeping me here. The known? Security? I don't really WANT to be here. *sigh* Oh well

WH called last night at almost midnight. I didn't answer so he sent a text saying that he wanted to see the girls today and that he couldn't sleep, blah, blah, blah. I shouldn't have read it, I know, but I did. I didn't reply back though.

Another trip to the doc today due to contractions and back pain. I've gained 5lbs in one week, but the NP said it's probably mostly due to water retention. My ankles and feet were swollen some. They monitored the baby and laughed because he is so darn active! He kept moving around and they kept losing the heartbeat. But, they said that everything looks fine, but they may have to have me start taking meds every six hours. I take them now if I have at least 5 contractions or Braxton Hicks in an hour. *sigh* I'm ready for the little guy but I want him to be healhy.

Oh, NC with WH was broken last night. He called again while I was sleeping and I was OUT, which is no excuse, but I didn't even realize who was calling. He called to ask me about books that he was suppose to read for school and to tell me about the library at school, blah, blah, bullcrap stuff that really made no sense for him to call me about. I lay there half out of it, drifting in and out of sleep until he asked me a specific question about school. He has to write an argumentative (whatever it's called) type paper for English class and he asked me what I would write it on. I said religion and he said that was what his first thought was also but he doesn't want to offend anyone in the class. (I remember thinking, see we still even think alike but of course HE doesn't see it that way) I told him that if someone got offended, that would be their problem, because school and the world is a diverse place so people need to be used to others not sharing their beliefs. He seemed to like this answer and wanted to chat more, but I was fully awake and said that I needed to go.

*sigh* So, my NC dark Plan B starts all over again. I just wonder what was the point in WH talking about this stuff with me. I'm confused. He has also been talking to the girls and even talked to my mom about wanting to see the girls at the house, but he didn't feel right with me being upstairs, or whatever. *sigh* Oh well.