I feel eternally lucky that my gorgeous D17 is a prude. Just yesterday, we went to eat breakfast and she had on this sleeveless mock turtleneck that is short enough to show one inch of stomach over her hip-style jeans. She had put it on at her friend's house (sleepover) before we picked her up, and she said her friend was shocked, because D17 never wears anything that shows her stomach. And when we went to church after breakfast, she brought her jacket in, because she said her shirt was inappropriate for church! And I didn't teach her any of this!

Thanks for the link, MEDC. Years ago, VS did get a few of my dollars, back before they became so skanky. They won't get any more.

And BTW, any woman who dresses like a wh0re then "complains" about the attention she is getting, is dishonest. The whole point of dressing that way is to get attention. It's a pet peeve of mine to see women try so hard to draw attention to themsleves, then pretend the gawks or stares or wolf whistles are unwelcome. If you're going to act and look like a prostitute, at least admit you enjoy it.

Same goes for men or women who constantly flirt , then act offended when others think they are "loose" or treat them disrespectfully. We teach people how to treat us.

How one dresses is a sign of how one respects the people they meet.

It's also why most women (wives) would be very wise to return, adopt, etc., the "old school" thought to Not be a "frump" just because you are "married." In a world that most men are exposed to every day, it behooves women to "not let themselves go" and ignore the huge visual impact that assails men (i.e. their husbands) every day.
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That is an interesting comment.....don't be a "frump" just because you are "married." LOL

I can honestly say that it NEVER crossed MY mind.....I fell into the category of women(wives)who felt anxiety if I did NOT keep myself up. Look at all the gorgeous, sexy, devoted wives whose husbands can not remain faithful.
It's not always about a wife who let her looks go.
A lot of Men (particularly married ones) would do themselves a big favor if they worked a little harder at understanding and controlling their reactions to all the visual stimuli they allow themselves to feel assailed by. We need to teach young men and women that it is not ok to objectify other people just because they are putting themselves on display.

As far as the way women dress goes....I know when I was younger, I didn't realize the impact my looks and dress had on men...or other women. I just loved clothes and I looked sexy in a lot of them no matter what.
Once I did, I took it into consideration and tried to dress in a way that reflected my own values....I was was never out to cause a stir or steal husbands but I was not comfortable looking frumpy either. I think it's all about intent and we all need to check our own.

This was kind of my point in starting this thread. I think both males and females need to accept responsibility. IMO, some women need to quit dressing to attract the attention of every male around by showing everything they can get away with showing.

And men - quit using the excuse that it's just your "nature". It's MY nature to want a hot fudge sundae every day, but hey - I just have to learn to control it. Why can't men just look at a nice looking woman and then let it go. Just look and then look away. Period. Of course, the problem occurs when there is a series of scantily dressed women so it's kind of a never ending show.

Shadows

Most fo...it's just that the ones that don't and take it further make quite a bad impression...it just seems like more do it.

medc,

I hope you're right and certainly believe this is the way you feel. I used to believe my husband also felt this way but since I've caught him in a few lies concerning other women, it's hard for me to believe him about this issue either. I'm not sure if I never noticed him looking at them before or what. Maybe I just never gave it another thought since I trusted him so much.

Shadows

And men - quit using the excuse that it's just your "nature". It's MY nature to want a hot fudge sundae every day, but hey - I just have to learn to control it. Why can't men just look at a nice looking woman and then let it go. Just look and then look away. Period. Of course, the problem occurs when there is a series of scantily dressed women so it's kind of a never ending show.
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I think it comes quite naturally for emotionally mature men to notice, admire but not dwell there....unfortunately, society has led men to believe that it is their nature and their right to stay stuck at an age where instant gratification and fantasy is perfectly acceptable.
And many women get stuck thinking they need to either just accept it (and many do let themselves get frumpy) or compete w/ it....have you seen Madonna lately??

. And when we went to church after breakfast, she brought her jacket in, because she said her shirt was inappropriate for church! And I didn't teach her any of this!
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Actually, in a very subtle way you probably did teach her that...you taught her to respect herself... and others.

If one is expecting someone to not notice, that's not a reasonable expectation. If you are expecting that his tongue doesn't hang out of his mouth and he will not twist his neck out of sorts trying to get another look whist thinking of what she would be like in bed is a reasonable expectation.

I think we all notice. But not all men stare, ogle, or imagine what she would be like in bed.

(Actually, I've found the more time a woman spends on looking good, the less likely she is to want to get all hot and sweaty in private. Maybe my sample space is limited, but I've learned enthusiasm goes a long, long way and doesn't typically disappear with age like a lot of the good looks do.

I notice attractive women, but I don't dwell on what she might look like with even fewer clothes.

I certainly don't care for the tatoos either. Not my style. So I don't really get turned on by body art on an exposed lower back.

Maybe someone else does, but not this man.

No judgments against the ladies who choose this sort of thing. It's just not attractive to me, that's all.

Well, I am male and I realize that this is a serious issue for you. However, it reminds me of a time in my life when I was much younger and particularly, perhaps even boringly, naive and worked in a manufacturing job as a materials manager. A very attractive young lady worked as a shipper just outside my office and I had gotten used to her being there and doing her job. She was a hard worker but her dress during the summer showed her curves. She subsequently left the company for a better job and I moved on myself shortly thereafter but I still remember getting visits from several male members of the front office staff (my office was in the rear of the plant) who never missed an opportunity to wish me a "good morning". I had thought fondly of those guys, since it was a trek and obviously out of their way. When I realized the real truth I was emabarassed but I got over it. Your point is a good one but in a free democratic society it is difficult to legislate against poor taste.