No wife this weekend, no marriage... Simple as that.

xxxis a GREAT city to be single in.

If she is there, you need to show her that's also a GREAT city to be married in.

And you know, there IS a music thingy she was interested in going to...(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

Can we stop posting/delete specifics on certain cities in TX?

Also, yes, there was a concert she was interested in. She really likes a band that's playing in it.

She said she had two tickets to the concert, and would like to go. She said that she offered them to her other roommate, but he is going to be out of town this weekend. She then said, "If I can use his tickets, then yes, I'd like to go"... I asked her, "so whose tickets are they exactly?"... She's been quiet since.

I'm not sure that she remembers I told her I knew that OM bought the tickets.

I'm almost tempted to send OM and e-mail to say, "I know you're still in contact with my WW. Please end all contact immediately and forever. Do not initiate contact with my wife, do not respond to contact from my wife. I will not be happy if I have to ask you again....

P.S. Thanks for the concert tickets this weekend."


Not really sure what the will call procedure is either at the particular venue... Usually and ID is needed for that sort of thing...

Also,

I checked seat assignments, and OM's seat is still occupied...

There are 4 or 5 other seats available, but only 24 hours before departure...

Perhaps the added innuendo: My wife and I are happy to go this concert this weekend ON YOUR DIME!!!!!!

All Blessings,
Jerry

WW just replied...

"don't be stupid, you know you saw everything about it in my e-mail. Your the one who brought it up during a conversation."

At least she's willing to admit he bought the tickets.

I told her "Well, I'd be happy to use OM's tickets. Will be fun."

Her reply "Now you're just an ahole"

You keep shooting yourself in the foot with all this back and forth. You don't need to catch her in lies about who's tickets they are. You are lovebusting. Just concentrate on having a good weekend. Is it perfectly natural to want to catch her in every lie and call her on it as well as educate her? Of course, but it is counterproductive.

Gotcha...

I will keep my mouth shut...

been following -

the city is great place to do Plan A activities to reconnect. Need to look at this weekend as a time to reconnect your relationship during this period.

Slow down relationship talk. Realize that you can only control you anyway. Oneupmanship never works in a marriage - be careful.

this trip should be about Plan A and preventing this OM moving into your marriage and your wife's bed.

Need to get down there asap with the new job. Other wise you are back to seperation and OM fills the void.

Plan B/D are always open as options after the effort. I see some hope here because of your tenacity.

Have a great weekend and hope all goes well with you and your wife.

btw - wanted to add - you have many 'virtual' friends in tx - dont forget - heck I am going north this weekend otherwise I head down there myself.

I'd never use the tickets or allow anyone else to use those tickets.

No way in hell would I give a WW any satisfaction and good feelings of the OM in anyway.

Respect is too important.

No, it was specific to BH's marriage. He gave details and the doctor responded with his impression of those details.

The advice on this entire site is generalized though. Should we ignore that as well?

"Jail smail" is easy for you to say...you are not the one down there risking arrest. Since she has invited him, I would say the chances of that happening are remote at this point...but she could very well try and trap him. WS's have been known to be a devious bunch.

well, you can't argue with her on that one. That WAS a bonehead thing to say.

I'm saving the text message with the invite to stay at her place...

I just would hate to see her claim domestic assault. If she does, you will go to jail. I think this is too risky given her continued abuse towards you (she is verbally abusive)...it could easily escalate into something. Given everything else you have done, you would be hard pressed to convince a judge she is lying.

I wish you luck.

It wouldn't be the first time, honestly...

We both spent a night in jail about 5 years ago.

She was very angry one night and physically attacked me. I told her if she hit me again, I was calling the cops... Cops came, we both went to jail.

I never laid a hand on her, but because she said I did, we both had to go.

That's when we first started counseling. We had a great counselor, but moved after about 5 sessions... We should have found someone else to see, but couldn't find anyone as good as he was... We looked, just not very hard.

I'm not doing it again. If there are any escalations on either of our parts (I'm not planning to raise my voice... I've been the calmest I've ever been through this ordeal)... I am leaving the situation, no ifs ands or buts.

We need to establish ground rules before we even get into any conversations at this point.

And, I think as stated above, it's best to just go down there and have a good time, and focus on how we can improve.

Well, if I THOUGHT it was a bad idea before to go down there...now I KNOW it is a bad idea.

TJ/


Gonna do a little Choctaw?

Our (me and DH) code for that is "I sure am hungry for a grill cheese!"

/TJ

Let me get this straight:

1. You've both been in jail over domestic violence.
2. She's suddenly changed from telling you 2 make your own arrangements about where 2 stay 2 inviting you 2 stay with her.
3. She's still angry and accusatory, defensive of her A.
4. OM is STILL on the flight 2morrow!

Afraid I agree with medc. Why would you want 2 go subject yourself 2 that nonsense?

Ultimatums are only inappropriate if you're not willing 2 follow through. Giving her an ultimatum of ending her affair before it starts, and coming home 2 work with you 2 recover (or convincing you that's what will happen if you drop everything in MI 2 come down 2 TX - not something she's remotely willing 2 do at this point), would seem like something you're ready 2 do.

-ol' 2long

Yeah. The more you talk, BH, the more apprehensive I feel about you doing this. You must do what you feel you must do but be d*mn careful!!

My uncle was murdered because of a situation like this. By his "best friend."

Charlotte

I agree with the others, the more I hear, the less I think you should go.

You don't think perhaps she's setting you up, do you?