Good luck today. I am praying you get to stay active in the life of your kids.

Thanks, Keep. I appreciate the prayers and thoughts.

What can I tell you about Friday?

Well....

We got there at 9AM. We litigated till 8PM. It was a loooooong day.

It was a rollercoaster. I had the feeling that all was going great. I then got the feeling all was lost (about halfway). And at the very end I got the feeling it could go either way but there were some signs of hope based on some observations I and others made.

So now we just wait for the decision.

I would write more and in greater detail but Darth WHNACG gets his jollies reading my posts, so I won't do so.

I believe I can say this, however, since they are the words of the full bird colonel that came in to lend me his support. His quote at work this morning was that Darth WHNACG was "an arrogant, abrasive pr*ck that was painful to listen to because he's that way".

So that is someone else's observation.

What I can say is that there was universal praise for the kid's attorney.

She outshone every attorney in that court room. She had sharp questions for everyone and in the end had an amazing closing comment. Her closing argument was so good, that it was universally praised by my family, despite the fact that they disagreed with her final conclusion. My family said that other than that, they thought the world of her closing argument.

She certainly provided everyone there with some food for thought. Well, she gave me some anyways.

Deflation and crash.

I'm feeling that now. I'm feeling relief that it's over.

This could have gone either way and still could.

But all the prepping, mental gymnastics, and stress over the looming date is over.

What is done is done.

Of course, there's always second guessing and rehashing and processing that goes on in your head. You think, "I wish I had answered this way or that way".

Two memebers or my support group (family) made a very keen observation: They feel the Karma bus is turning it's engine on and about to roll.

They said that I've had a lot of bad Karma for a while. They got the feeling that my bad Karma was coming to an end.

I found the experience of family court terrifying and interesting. I'm starting to consider the possibility to pursuing a law degree and entering this arena.

I say that because I talk to my friends in my divorce group and I hear how poorly they're represented and how badly they're advised and I KNOW I could do a good job for them.

I've been chewing on this a lot lately and think I may very seriously pursue this once this all ends.

Perhaps I'll make it a business practice to simply represent betrayed spouses. I'll interview potential clients and will turn away waywards looking to push the other parent out of the kid's lives. I'll be ok with repentant ones looking to cooperate with the one they betrayed.

I don't know. It's an idea.

What I do know is that I want my life to have a new start now. I want to pursue the things I've enjoyed in the past or always wanted to do. Playing guitar comes to mind.

So things stay in a limbo for now.

So...if you become a lawyer, do we get to make bad jokes about you, too?

Plug away!

My sister's fiance is a lawyer and we spent the whole evening telling lawyer jokes the other night.

My first cousin is one too.

So my mom asked the obvious question, "Why are we telling these jokes when your cousing and (sister's fiance) are lawyers?"

The answer was easy. The jokes aren't about the good ones. It's about the scum bags who do and say anything and try underhanded and dirty tactics to win. A good example is taking a single email out of a long list of emails and providing that to a professional for analysis. So this professional makes an opinion based on just a tiny piece of the puzzle.

It's like a cop walking into a room and seeing one guy shove another guy. The cop thinks, "This guy is being violent. He just shoved the other guy and is committing assault."

Now, the truth of the situation is that the guy that got shoved just spent the last 30 minutes poking and prodding and slapping around the guy that did the shoving. What the cop saw was the final "breaking point" which led the guy to finally shove the other one to get him to back off.

A totally different picture emerges when the full chain of events is shown.

But a sleazeball lawyer will take just the final event and focus on that one and make crazy claims.

THAT is the difference between honorable people and underhanded dirty lawyers.

But things eventually catch up to such dirty people. They end up throwing one questionable tactic too many and finally have things like the State Bar decide to take a look at their conduct.

I tell ya, I wouldn't associate myself with such an attorney and have been blessed with one that does have honorable intentions and a decent set of morals. My last attorney was that way too. Both were good people.

I'm going to ask my attorney to use the Chewbacca defense at the next court hearing. Perhaps that will be the ace card that will win it all!

If I ever need an attorney, I want Eli Stone!

Let me know if you pass the bar in FL. You could make a living going around the US representing all the BS's at MB.

I'll represent only betrayed spouses and will exclusively use the Chewbacca defence! I'll be unbeatable!

You have retained your dignity and sense of humor throughout this ordeal. I so hope that things go in your favor!!

My lawyer gave me her best guess on what she'd do if she was the one making the decision.

I can't share it since POS will likely try to say that I'm somehow giving up my attorney/client priviledge by posting my conversation with her online.

Granted, this could be my next door neighbor posting or someone else that i gave my password to, so he can't do jack squat.

The experience Friday showed me that the standard for evidence in court is very high. So something like a printed out online post really wouldn't hold up.

I'll be a lot more open when this ends.

Have to bite my tongue for now.

But you guys feel free to post away.

Clearly I'm not Chewbacca. Me saying I'm not Chewbacca simply doesn't make any sense.

If I'm not Chewbacca, you must aquit!

Hey Pom,

Im glad it was a decent day. Hope it all works in your favor.

I will just play 20 questions on RMX later on!!

Glad you are staying positive and we are all here for you!

Decent isn't the word I'd use. Would have rather been getting poked in the eye all day.

But look at the info I sent RMX. I'm sure he'll find the Chewbacca stuff funny.

Ok, few are getting the Chewbacca defence so here's the explanation:

There was a South Park episode where Chef was suing the record company for sampling a song he wrote called "Stinky Britches".

The record company hired Johnny Cochran to represent them and there was speculation on whether or not he would use the infamous "Chewbacca" defence.

The trial starts and Chef's attorney gives his side of things. Chochran goes up and pulls down a poster of Chewbacca and says, "Ladies and gentlemen of the 'supposed' jury. Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Keshyyyk. Does it make any sense that this 7 foot Wookie would be hanging around with 2 foot Ewoks on Endor? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Just like the argument against my client! IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Does it make sense that I would stand before you today to talk about Chewbacca. It doesn't make sense! Nothing makes sense! So if he is not Chewbacca, then you must aquit!"

It was something along those lines.

In other words, it makes absolutely no sense to be making the argument with Chewbacca, but what I saw Friday was that thousands and thousands of dollars were spent on arguments that don't make any sense and went nowhere on both sides.

So the Chewbacca defence makes about as much sense as any other.

I'd give a million dollars to hear my lawyer say, "My client isn't Chewbacca!"

Hence, the Chewbacca Defence.

You have to have humor at a time like this. Otherwise what do we have?

Pomdbd3, I realize you can't give us any details, but do you at least have an approximate timeline for when this will all be over? I've been watching your story and cheering you on and I'm dying to know how it's going to turn out.

Best of luck again!

I was told that it would be within 10 days. I don't know if that's 10 calendar days (which seems to be what the court uses for everything) or 10 business days.

My attorney keeps saying things could go either way though she gave me her opinion on what she would do if she was sitting as the Master and heard what was given Friday.

So it's been 5 days since Friday. I'm guessing we'll probably have an answer by Friday, but it could be early next week. He can mail it or call us in to read us his ruling.

So if I became a lawyer, do you think I'd attract many clients if I advertised, "Specializes in the Chewbacca Defence!"?

I think the ex and I are emotionally spent.

We've had a few email exchanges since the trial and they have been civil, logistical kid stuff with no accusations being hurled in either direction.

I suggested to her that we have a once a week logistical email where we simply discuss what's coming up for the week so that we can remind each other of appointments and events and be on the same page to prevent any mis-communications.

I haven't gotten an answer yet, but think she'll likely agree.

I'm starting to wonder, honestly, if a lot of the problems we've had have been driven by lawyers who have encouraged that mutual suspicion or encouraged each of us to coccoon up and "protect" ourselves by not communicating effectively with the other one.

Her current attorney is a junkyard dog who is eager for the fight, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was encouraging discord instead of cooperation.

I think both of us are spent emotionally and are just talking about kid stuff at this point. Her emails have certainly been informative, non-accusatory, and just logistical this week.

So this is progress. I guess it's because either way the worst is over and we're both just spent and exhausted and probably had a good deal of the message from the BIA sink in on both sides.

At least I hope so anyways.

Anyone else experience a detente after all their litigating was over or did it just keep going on and on for you?

Still no news from the judge on what is going to happen.

I'm expecting an answer this week. Waiting stinks, but I guess that's just how the wheels of justice spin.

On a separate note:

Sally and I had a long talk last night. The feelings aren't there for her. We were very open with each other and there were no vague thoughts shared. It was all very straight forward sharing of feelings and I was very glad to have the conversation. I was reading into things up until recently and it was driving me nuts.

I have no idea if her feelings are about me in particular or men in general.

Part of me thinks that I'm simply not her type physically. Losing a few pounds would probably help.

She did say she wishes she could feel something, but simply doesn't right now.

We talked about the cake thing. Everyone seemed to clue in on the fact that I liked her but her. We had a couple of laughs about how clueless she was about the hint. She said all her friends were telling her, but that she wasn't getting it.

In the end we laughed about the situation, as grown-ups would. She told me the story of a guy she had been seeing as friends but who obviously wanted more and she didn't feel anything either. She told me about how he'd come over and would even stay the night at her place with nothing happening between them.

I told her that I know why and what he was likely thinking.

She asked what that was and I said, "He probably felt, as I do, that you're worth the wait."

She seemed very touched by this statement, but in the end obviously didn't feel the same.

She asked me not to wait for her to feel different, and I said that I was in no rush to find others, but that i was a grown up and could understand and keep all my options open.

On the one hand she said that she wishes she could feel differently, but I think that may have been said to not hurt me.

On the other, part of me feels that the seed is at least planted and there must be some part of her that likes the attention considering the fact that she has come over to my place and did make me dinner last night (deer meat tacos, which were very good).

She also invited me to stay and watch a movie with her.

So she obviously enjoys my company, but isn't romantically interested. I know of one other friend of mine who was in a similar boat with a guy friend of hers and she had her eyes open up when that friend moved on and met someone. She suddenly realized she did like the guy, but it was too late.

So who knows what will happen. I'll continue to be friendly, but nowhere near as attentive.

This has become a new motivator for me to get back in shape. Things have been rough on that front because of the time vaccuum my trial became, but things are done as far as that goes so I can devote a lot more time to getting in good shape.

That may not be what is turning her away, but I can sure use it to motivate me. And if she still doesn't like me after losing the weight (I'm not terribly overweight, but could stand to lose 30 pounds) then I'll have the added bonus of being noticable to other ladies. My ticker could use the help anyways.

So life goes on. I'm glad to get the guessing out of the equation and get the feelings out in the open. The bridge isn't burned, but i'm not going to wait forever. It's just good to know where you stand.

Too bad for you, but you can always use another friend, right?

Good luck with everything.

Still no news. Waiting stinks, but I guess that's part of the process.

More hearings on the horizon. It seems like it never ends.

I had an MRI yesterday. I have a fully torn ligament in my shoulder. It happened when I was in the service and I was loading bags onto the jet.

Lived with it all these years with an "ache" that just never goes away. I agravate it all the time when I push a stroller or try to lift weights. I at least now know the cause of the pain.

The VA may fix it, since I injured it while in the service but I have to file papers.

I'm not down at all. Quite the opposite. I feel a weird peace like all will be ok no matter what. This shoulder thing isn't a big deal. Have lived with it for years. I just want to be able to lift my kids without that twinge of pain. It's getting harder as they get bigger!

So please keep the kids and I and my ex in your prayers. Yes, even the ex. We all need to be blessed with a little divine wisdom so we can work better for these kids no matter the outcome.

I'm still thinking about you. Any news today?