"(it's gonna be hard too because now I am gonna be working two jobs to bring home enough income to make up for the other job I had to leave)."

"gonna be"?

You have been asked some very specific questions and been given some very specific things to do in order to give your marriage the best chance of recovery.

When you give excuses and give vague answers you create suspicion. No wonder your BH didn't feel he could trust you again.

You're still foggy. You probably don't see that in yourself but some of us can.

Also, how long was your adultery going on?
How much lying, planning, preening, sneaking, flirting, etc. did you put into the adultery?
By comparison how much time and effort have you put into recovery so far?

Just because your BH is now resistant to recovery, don't interpret that as proof that it's just too late to save the marriage, regardless of whatever foggy things he says.

One mistake I see WS's make a lot is they expect the BS to just forgive and forget instantly at the first sign that the WS is de-fogging. Maybe your husband needs to be reassured that you at least love him enough to fight for recovery as long as he did?
Maybe he woudl have trouble believing and trusting in recovery if he sense you would give up easily?

spagoddess34,

I am a BH who went on to have a RA. I can say with complete honesty that if WW discontinued contact with OM, I would NOT have had an RA.

Just some food for thought for you.