He has always been a family first person. I mean always, we had lots of disagreements when we first got married about my family. But he changed to be part of the family. He has taken jobs he did not like to make sure the family needs were meet. That is the one thing people always comment about that he puts the family first.

Yes he has always has meet my EN that is why when I got the phone call followed by the "I love you but don't love you" speech I was taken back. He could've talked more but that is the only need he really did not do that I care about.

Why are you willing to accept so little from him?

What does a good marriage look like to you?

What is important to you in a marriage?

Put all of this aside for a moment and tell us about the Marriage that you would like.



Fox

Family first or you first. There is big difference. God's plan is God then spouse then family then work etc. Does your WH have any relationship with God? Could his not talking much have lead to a situation where you know very little about him or his needs?

Tell me. What do you want out of this R? Why are you willing to settle for his total lack of committment? Did you suspect anything for 3 1/2 years? My FWH was "involved" for about nine months total and I knew something was wrong from day one.

Now is your time for change. Decide what you want and don't want and don't settle. Discover your boundaries, let him know and stick to them>

God's Blessings,

Say

((Huspouse))

So sorry you are here.

I have read through both yours and your WH's threads. I like many others are concerned by your H's level of fogginess given that he said the A ended almost six months ago.

Are you certain there is 100% NC established? If so, how do you know? This includes phones calls, seeing each other in passing, etc.

Keep posting and reading and hang in there!

I honestly do not believe it is fogginess that we are witnessing. I believe it's something deeper; a sense of entitlement that existed BEFORE the LTA, not bourne OF the affair. I could be wrong; I'd love to be wrong.

Maybe its fog, but it just doesn't really ring similar to the normal WS fog babble here. He sounds a bit like a sociopath to me, completely unable to empathize with the pain he has caused his wife. He also just doesn't care that he is partially to blame for causing so much pain to another human being, the OWH.

I think I fall in line a bit more with the people who have a very low tolerance for disrespect here, like MyRev and MEDC. My own personal advice to his BW, would be to send him packing. After 6 months, if he still feels this entitled and selfish, I have serious doubts whether he is capable of being a good husband.

agreed andrew.

I agree about Hu, but I'm not sure that we can help Mrs. Hu here...mainly because I think that Hu is so wrapped up in himself, and so defensive, that he would not want Mrs. Hu to come here and be advised by the same people whose advice he has been so arrogantly disregarding...assuming, of course, that the whole situation is real.

I apologize if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking this way because of ONE MISPELLED WORD.

I have my doubts this is really MrsHu. The story just doesn't add up or ring true. If you read "her" posts, they are really nothing more than carefully framed PRAISES of hu7668, ie: "great father," "always meets my emotional needs," "great provider," etc, etc. All this about a profoundly selfish, remorseless, thoughtless wayward. What bullcrap coming frm the supposed "wife" of a man in a 3.5 yr affair.

And the only reason he doesn't show remorse HERE is OUR fault supposedly; of course, that doesn't explain why he showed none BEFORE he was confronted:
4. does he show remorse [he shows NONE here]
He is different at home then he is on here. I will say he reacts here just like he does at home when confronted.


Also note that hu7668 never posts in the evening and neither does she. I suspect he posts from an office computer during the day and just set up a second account for "MrsHu."

I think he is pulling our legs, folks. :eek:

You are exactly right, which is why it is impossible for me to reconcile this obviously callous, foggy individual with the description given on this thread by the supposed "MrsHu." It doesn't jive.

That was my first thought too when I read her response to this thread. He did say though, in one of his earliests posts, that he would direct her here. His actual words were "Why not?" I believe. Oh yeah, he cares about his BW alright.

This is the very 1st line that "Mrs H" posts. I am a newly BS and all I know is that when I found this lifeline message board given all that was going on in my head that is not the 1st comment I would make.
Why do I need to explain that I am real, why would any one doubt that if I am posting. The mere fact that I would have needed to do prove who I am on an site where everyone can remain anonomous and get the help that they are so desperately seeking/needing is baffling to me.
As a recent BS I have so many thought swrirling in my head and so much venting that I need to do , the statement above would not be the most important one I would type 1st ( or ever).
Seems like a set up to me, Just my 2 cents. Ok now back to taking care of my own isses.

ITA!!

I read that first line yesterday and my hinky meter went off. I didn't even bother with the rest of the posts. I looked last night only because I saw that Mel was still up at 2am and I was curious as to why. LOL!

That's when I saw the doubting posts.

Charlotte

Morale of the story is: Hinky meter in good working order. Yay!

Guess we know where this thread belongs.

I agree that he has issues which extend beyond the normal WS fog babble, but, to me, sounds like a big case of narcissism. That is what I've learned from the course of my W's affair, that she is also narcissistic (maybe to the extent of a personality disorder). To the narcissist, they are the center of the universe. My W is very jealous of me, and flies off the deep end over any perceived flirting with another woman (its bad because it makes her feel bad) while she still hasn't appreciated the immorality of her PA and EA, and the pain it caused me (not bad, because it made her feel good.

Entitlement is also another classic symptom of narcissism.

IMHO, narcissistic type spouses will always, unconsciouslessly, commit the lovebuster of Independent Actions. They will consistently do what they want and what makes them feel good, regardless, and without empathy, of how it affects others.

IMHO, you guys are wasting time on a troll here. I don't buy for a minute that this clown is for real or that his wife has ever posted here.

You're right med...a little late...but right nevertheless.

Check out hu's thread.

HU has admitted this is NOT his W. He created this name and is posting as his W.


This thread is being locked to prevent any further advice to a nonexistant BW.

Creating additional members names for deceptive purposes is a direct violation of TOS.