Hu...

YOU are responsible for your decisions and choices, no one else...

You complain and complain about how very unhelpful MB is, and yet you are still here...

Interesting...

Mrs. W

Have you told your wife about your affair yet?

I remember that too. I think they had a few choice adjectives for you.

I noticed that you were rather insistent about bringing the topic back around to marriagebuilding. They didn't want any part of that. They just wanted someone to "understand" and "validate" them.

"Validation" is ranking near "closure" in the highly over-rated and overused arena, at least in my opinion. These catch phrases are all about warm fuzzies I guess. Guess I'm not a warm and fuzzy kinda girl.

committed

No I have never complained about how unhelpful MB is, I think the ideas are rock solid. I complain about the delivery method of a lot of the posters here. I do find good information here though from the posters who's delivery methods work for me.

See there is a difference between the folks here and the MB concepts, they are distinctly different.

How is my life going, not telling you folks. My personal life is my personal life at this point. I will continue to lurk, learn and question but active participation no thanks.

HU, let's keep it real here. Not every wayward has been talked to exactly like you have. Because while foggy or entitled, at least some waywards still at least TRY to be honest with us when they come here, because they really want help. I believe you got extra 2x4s because you were playing games and telling lies and jerking chains, don't ya think?

It's rather disingenuous and not very nice, to come here and try and mess with our heads, and then act all wounded and victimish when we see through you!

I've also struggled with understanding the reasoning of the Prodigal Son Parable. I want to share my current thoughts.

Disclaimer: I don't tell God what to think and I don't claim to know everything He thinks. These are my own thoughts only and are not intended to represent theology.

As a mother of twins, I've occasionally been asked if I find myself loving one more than the other. My answer: "I love more whichever one needs me the most at that moment."

That doesn't mean that, integrated over all time, I LOVE (generally care for and want the best for) one more than the other. But at any given moment, I may love (actively act to care for) one more than the other, if one needs me more in that instance.

I do realize this. I guess maybe I didn't explain myself well. Its not like I sit around stewing about him-- on an everyday basis, he's not even a part of my life or my thought process, honestly. I really couldn't care much less where he is or what he's doing. I haven't seen him, and quite frankly have very little opportunities to see him. He may or may not even still live in the same city as me-- I'm honestly not sure-- he used to talk about how he wanted to move to another city 4 hours away, and half of me thinks he probably picked up and moved, and part of me thinks he's still in my city. I don't know, and don't really care that much. I think the only way I'd ever see him is if he IS still here, and by some freak chance I ran into him somewhere. But we live in opposite parts of my (large) city, so that is even somewhat unlikely-- and he's kinda a hermit crab that doesn't have much of a life, so that makes it even more unlikely

I guess I think if I ran into him, I would have more of a visceral response to seeing him that would make me puke on him... a flooding back of how utterly stupid I was-- and blind. He certainly isn't prince charming-- (is anyone that would mess with a married woman? isn't that an oxymoron in the first place? but even beyond that, he's got some issues).

Maybe not so much I HATE HIM... more I hate what he represents? Is that better? I am indifferent towards him. Quite frankly, this post is the most thought I've given him in months and months and months. And even that he doesn't deserve

E.

Bingo

Excellent thoughts..makes sense to me!

He doesn't have the guts.

He doesn't love his wife enough.

He wants to hurt his children.

Take your pick.

I'll make it easy for you HU....Post her cell #, I'll do what you can't.

I have watched in the last few days the same thing happen to other WS that happened to me. They got jumped on from the beginning some stayed some did not. So sorry not the only person I have seen the approved method here run someone off.

On my thread I wanted information, but I got jumped on and got defensive. Once that happens I don't care what the message is I was not going to listen. I am not going to take rude and abusive behavior from some anonymous people on the internet.

Now I stayed around here lurking and learning. Actually a lot of the information has helped. But direct interaction with BS here as a WS with my personality is counter productive. My wife has all the rights in the world to yell or scream at me. But no one on an internet forum has the same rights.

That's my point just because somone is a WS does not mean they are your WS. So you don't get the rights to treat any and all WS how want and expect them to take it. If you really want to push the MB principles you find the most effective way to reach the audience.

I guess the truth is something you consider rude and nasty?

I don't consider it rude and nasty.

I do consider deceptive posting practices as rude.

I do consider having other sexual partners while MARRIED quite nasty....epecially when the BS doesn't know and the WS refuses to tell them.

Now...that is nasty behavior.

Nasty can defined as vicious, spiteful, or ugly:

Can't get much nastier in my book.

committed

Would you like a hankie for your tears, sweetie?

Dude you don't like me start another thread.

I don't have to justify anything to you people. How I am now conducting my life is my business not yours.

For this thread I have obviously hit a nerve (with some of you) since the topic has changed from the delivery of the MB message to me. Try to stay on topic or start another thread.

Would like to thank the previous 3 posters for proving my point. Why would a WS want to come here for help?

Blah Blah Blah

But your wife has to take your abuse!

Then let her yell and scream...confess your affair.

What is it that your wife yells and screams about? It couldn;t be about your affair, because Mr. Toughguy is to chickensh!t to tell her.

Wow, that says a lot about you right there! I could just picture a 4 year old stomping his little foot and saying "I'm not going to listen!"

Is this how you treat your wife? Trying to make it HER FAULT when you choose to break your vows?

And FWIW, I'm thinking playing deceptive games with a board full of people trying to help build marriages, is much more rude and abusive behavior than talking to you straight, as if you were a big boy.

Ahem, HU, *I*, as a FWS, gave you a pretty hard line myself once I saw that you were not serious about doing what is NECESSARY...What is MANDATORY actually...

So YOU stop trying to take YOUR ANGER out at the BSs here-You are doing EXACTLY what you are accusing them of!!! And it is NOT just them that see what you are doing as horrid and wrong...

HONESTY is the solution to your situation HU...PERIOD...No amount of commiserating at that other site will fix this astrocity you've created...No amount of raging here will fix it either...

TELL YOUR WIFE...

Mrs. W

Be a MAN, HU7668. Tell your wife the truth. Attacking people on this forum for telling you what you don't want to hear is not manly nor will it help your marriage.

Tell your wife the truth, HU.