After what has happened and taking the time to reflect I would say my answer is YES! I guess all these years I overlooked his shortcomings, tried to believe they weren't there. When I met him I was dating a high profile football player. Not that this guy was any better but I chose my husband over him. He was more "down to earth" like my family. I see now that my husband was probably attracted to me because I was a strong woman. I've always acheived whatever goals I had in life. He had not. He was one failed relationship after another... I AM TOO GOOD FOR HIM! Now I am crushed. I feel worthless and the more worthless I feel the worse I feel. Does that make sense? I shouldn't feel this way and I know it but I can't make it go away! I've never felt so hopeless in my life! And I've never felt this way before in my life so I don't know how to deal with it. I saw my doctor and she perscribed an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication. The anti-depressant is ok but the anti-anxiety about killed me! One of teh side effects was suicidal thoughts. The day I was searching for the ammunition for my husbands gun was the day that I flushed them down the toilet. NOT me at all and scary! I HATE my husband for what he has made me feel and I hate myself for feeling the way I do. I AM STRONGER THAN THAT!!!! Please if you have any suggestions on how to deal with this tell me. I am waiting to go to my first individual counceling appointment. I need it...

You mentioned he might not change the NC letter. Well if his M depended on it will he? Tell him you NEED him to write the letter in a more respectable sense *what the others have said* Straight to the point and leave kids out of it.

I personnally felt sick when you said about him saying the children are a mistake and you standing with it. But thats a story in its self. Its not your fault he put his thingy inside her and made a child.

Your posts sound like hes very much anger with OW and the A. He needs to face it. Start applying more of MB into the M and rebuild if you feel its workable.

Best of luck