You are an open person, and your exH lost something very valuable. He doesn't know that yet. He will, in about 5 years or so. He is very slow to understand things. His need for presence prevents understanding, as his focus is always on his own needs. It will take a long time. Unfortunately, you will have moved on by then.
BTW, my sixth sense tells me that you have some time to wait before the new man comes into your life. That's okay though, as you are not yet ready. Waiting, in your case, is going to be a good thing.
His slowness in understanding things effects those around him by leading them to believe it is that he doesn't care.
I've often thought that he just doesn't know how to show that he cares. He does care, he just doesn't know and doesn't seem to make the effort in finding out how to show others that he cares.
I, too, believe that I will have moved on by the time that he figures any of this out.
Hopefully, he figures it out in time that his DDs can benefit from it.
BTW, my sixth sense tells me that you have some time to wait before the new man comes into your life. That's okay though, as you are not yet ready. Waiting, in your case, is going to be a good thing.
This is tough to hear. I want to truly be finished and put this behind me and get on with life. I really believe that WxH is not right for me. Even if/when he becomes repentant and remorseful, I don't know that he can change ENOUGH for what I now believe I deserve.
I think he will always have that "presence" issue and those around him will continue to play 2nd fiddle to him.
I do understand that I need to put some time between this and a new man. As much as I WANT to be ready, WxH is still too much in my thoughts. I am still dealing with the fallout, even though it is become less and less. It is not fair to someone new to not be at the forefront of my thoughts.
I have many reservations about how to deal with a relationship while still being a full-time mother. I don't feel I can do both FULLY right now. Someone would have to give and it would be undoubtedly the new man. Which is not fair.
People keep telling me that - about the tears.
I guess it's a gift?
Part of it may be a gift. I also think that you have worked hard and enjoy what you do. You have enhanced the gift.
I think the tears come when we feel so totally understood. It always seems like our inner thoughts are such a secret and no one can really know what is going on in there.
You seem to know and it is very touching.
Thank you for sharing your gift with me.
When you have a moment and the inclination, would you mind sharing with me how you go about getting into the field that you are in? I know I've read a little about specifically what you do, but how did you get there.
Fox
