That's a very good question. Where do 40 and over people meet one another? It's not like the good old days when we were in college and you met people all the time. Bars were bad then and worse now. You don't meet a lot of new people at work - especially if you've been working there for a long time. And most people settled in a career at this age are already married anyway. Yoga and other excersise classes are full of happily married women with perfect husbands and perfect kids (just can't bring myself to these things yet). Volunteer organizations are all single women. Where are the men? And by that I mean the decent men, because I know where I can find them in the local pubs and gambling places.

Try church events, Chuck E Cheese with his kids on the weekend, grocery store, gym, Friday night after work hanging out at the local watering hole with some buddies (Not getting drunk playing pool), and probably many more.

You'll meet the right one when it is time, for sure. In the meantime, don't worry about it and have fun

Home Depot, of course.

AGG

LOL AGG I knew YOU would say that..but I want to hear what MEDC thinks is a good place....

Besides....we only have a LOWES here...haha

Yeah, well, that was my next suggestion

Honestly, I do not find meeting people to be much of a problem. There are a lot of women out there that have been treated poorly by their partners...so, being a gentleman and respectful of a woman affords many, many opportunities for dating. Being a full time dad makes me limit the times I go out though.

Chemistry.com is a spin off of match.com and has yielded very good results for me. Meeting people in church has also been a possibility.

I think it all depends on what you are looking for. I think certain websites, like the one mentioned on this thread seem to cater more to those looking to get married in a relatively short order. Others cater to people looking to get laid....and then there are those that fall somewhere in the middle.

Being very clear about your intentions is important as nothing is more of a turn off than someone that winds up being "not as advertised." I have come across women that have lied about their age, number of children..etc. Then there are those that seem more interested in how much money you make. Me, I just prefer a person that is proud of who they are and able to take a shot at something with meaning down the road.

i just kind of breezed through this thread as i had not read it in a awhile...

the eharmony thing.. i am so naive! i didn't realize it was a site for those who would probably be looking for marriage! that explains a lot. my 3 month special is about to end soon and i do not intend to renew. especially since i am in no way shape or form "husband hunting" at the moment! however, now i see why any men who contacted me, for the most part, were very quick to get to open communication, and some just wanted to by pass guided communication all together! and the one man i have been talking too for a few months now, yea, i would say i got the feeling of neediness from him. like he would email me several times a day. i emailed him the other day and told him i was really busy with selling my house and getting ready to move and full time work and full time classes and i just did not think this was a good time for me, etc.. and he emailed back saying understood i was busy but really hoped i could keep emailing when i could because he thinks i am just this wonderful woman, etc, etc, and still wants to meet me and on and on. ugh. but at least he has not been emailing me anymore.

as far as it being easy to meet people... maybe in the new town i am moving to as it does have about 2000 more people then where i live now. and i don't know everyone where i am moving either. in the town i live in? not happening here. meeting people at church? i am one of the youngest members! if that says anything. and the only single man is a widower who is well into his 80's. i don't do the bar scene. there are no possibilities at work.

but i do feel that it happens when you are not looking. and when the time is right i am sure an opportunity will present itself.

not been on any other dating sites nor do i plan to be. with the small area i live in, it is really a waste of my money.

and with my life, full time work and school, and 2 full time children, my time is limited as well.

mlhb

Where do you draw the line between desparate behavior and the "natural" attraction drawn by the courtship process? Over time, it is inevitable that you will want to spend more time, talk to, etc more often the person that is meeting your needs of companionship.

It is also a tight rope between "desparate" behavior and "apethetic" behavior and this is compounded with the fact that different people perceive different things. It is just very hard, I think

For me, the internet sites have not been an option so far. Not saying I won't but I have many reservations about them

i don't think you can truly tell anything about a person until you meet them in person.

that is why i am not really thrilled with online dating sites. you could talk for several months before meeting and then meet them and it is a totally different person. you also can't really tell truly if one is desperate or not until you meet them either. i am not necessarily saying the guy i was talking to was desperate, maybe overly eager is a better term.

i'd rather not necessarily be contacted every single day all day long. i'm not that needy that i need that constant communication. plus, it makes me think you have no other life if you are able to email me that much kwim?

when and if it happens for me again at some point, that would be great. i would like at some point down the line to be married again. just not tomorrow. lol

mlhb

[quote=mlhb]i don't think you can truly tell anything about a person until you meet them in person.

that is why i am not really thrilled with online dating sites. you could talk for several months before meeting and then meet them and it is a totally different person. you also can't really tell truly if one is desperate or not until you meet them either. i am not necessarily saying the guy i was talking to was desperate, maybe overly eager is a better term.

____________________________________
**This is why I can't "get" why my H was picking up women at adult friend finder and meeting them AT THEIR HOMES for sex?? He could've been a serial killer or some other freak and they'd never know for sure. How do they make this choice after only emailing for weeks and maybe 1 phone call? Gotta be desperation!!

Well, I agree - and that is exactly why many folks want to get to Open Communication fairly quickly, to avoid spending weeks and weeks e-mailing someone to whom they will not be attracted once they meet.

But then this is the very thing that makes you call them "desperate" for rushing to Open Comm . One can't win .
AGG

oh agg, you good old stick in the mud you!

you KNOW one can't ever win with me anyway! LOL

mlhb

H_A

Your comments make me wonder what kind of man would take advantage of a women that desperate? Sure, I know for sex, uncommitted sex, but still. There are moral issues all the way around on that one. It sure does suck when things become twisted and confused. The obession about snooping is one that drives me crazy at times. Then I wonder why bother? If it's just making me crazy and not really helping then I guess it's time to stop. Secrets are never a good thing in a marriage, but being obsessive isn't a good thing either.

For me, it comes across as desperate when you tell someone, "I am going to be very busy with work the next two days, so I will not be able to call or text." and the person texts you repeatedly, finally asking what is wrong, and did they do something. Totally turned me off.

When you are just getting to know someone, when you first start dating, it does not seem natural to me to immediately constantly text and call. As time goes on, more of it is ok, but to IMMEDIATELY start doing it makes me feel smothered.

Just my opinion. Maybe some people like that? I don't know. But, I do not have the time for it either. Sure, if we had dated for a while, it would be fine, but not at first.

I personally do not mind getting to open communication quickly. If I am interested, you are able to ask them more direct questions, and see if you like what they say. That way you can weed out people quicker. I do not see it as desperate.

MJ63:
This is why I believe the statement that our WS are aliens because whoever lived here for that year was NOT my H. He sat here in the livingroom while I washed dishes in the kitchen and DD and Ds walked back and forth and he searched out his connections.
This man went searching for women. Had 2 one night stands and then #3 talked a good story and batted her eyes and claimed he was her sexual and emotional match and he got hooked. They only got together about 5x in the year but the talking must've been good???
The lack of conscience is a by product to an A. It was just too easy to turn his back on a wife of 20 years and visit these other women!

now I have seen everything!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/136306?GT1=43002

geez, guess i should have been looking in penthouse!

mlhb

Well, now that there's Christian Porn it should be easier to find answers for all these sex addict, porn addict, masturbation addict threads.

Could really use the eyeroll emoticon right now

Ding...Ding...Ding... you're a winner!

That's where I am at!

Seriously speaking, they are in your malls, bookstores, church choirs, etc....in your everyday walks of life.

The reason I havent posted in a while is the day after I told the story here above she called me and said she was thinking about me out of the blue. Weird.