Your WW committed infidelity. His 22 y.o. daughter did not. She was also affected by her father's and your wife's choices. At least as far as what you want revenge over, she is an innocent victim.

Or is the fact that she is female reason enough to use her for your purposes?

the pastor at church stood up one sunday and said that while he was on a teen youth group camping trip a couple of the teens were being real rear ends. while they were hiking he confessed to the congregation that it ran throough his mind to push the trouble makers into a ravine.

does this make the pastor a sick individual? not in my book. it simply shows that we are all capable of thoughts that we would never act on.

to tell the truth when my w's A was discovered i had thoughts that would make a revengful roll in the hay with om's w or daughter seem like a nono on sesame street.

did i act on them? no but the (and i will use the term) perverse thoughts still ran in and out of my mind. do i feeel that i am a sick human being? no. a coward or lunatic? no.

i actually think that someone who has such thoughts and shows restraint enough to hold them only as thoughts and not act on them given the distraught mental state at such times are strong examples of people.

the easy thing is to give in to your anger and not keep it in check.

I say this with sincere caring:

People tend to see what they look for.

Your pain and hurt is obvious. I pray you can heal. I'm sorry that it seems I can't help, but there are many wonderful men here with fine characters. I hope some of them can help.

I would think that the thoughts of revenge against OM is the only thing that brought his daughter into the thoughts. Wouldn't bother OM if he had sex with a strange woman.

Well said, pops.....well said.

I agree wholeheartedly.

No, just the fact that she is stripper hot.

I still have my SCRUPLES!!

I've stuck up for you up until this point, Pariah...but two trolling for trolls isn't something recommended.

I'm a big boy and I have endured far worse than a few edits.

And she IS stripper hot.

I neglected to do the math, she's probably 24 now.

I've had my thoughts about revenge. However, they never involved using someone innocent to hurt someone else.

Reminds me of something someone said after 9-11. They thought we should kill every single family member of the hijackers right down to infants.

Not sure if that would be considered a deterrent or revenge. I guess it would depend on who you were. A family member of one lost to terrorism or just a citizen.

Since my family was considered "collateral damage" by the women here and I should just suck it up.

All is fair with OM's family, you know collateral damage and all.

I have learned that having a moral compass will ALWAYS lead you into the path of destruction.

If you are going to win, then everything must burn behind you.

You sound like perfect OM material.

pariah not to disagree with you or try and explain to anyone for you. like i said the thoughts i had at the time were truly sick.

but what i think people are missing in this whole i want to stand on the moral high ground thread is that when we think of such disgusting, foul, perverse revenge motives it is because we are not thinking with a clear mind.

we are simply thinking of some way to hurt the op as bad as they hurt us. it has nothing to do with the innocence of a daughter or w.

what i experienced is that although i had similar thoughts as those disgust here (and many many worse ones) was that after you think of these ahunting ideas you realize that although you feel litteraly hate towards op the one that truly hurt you was your ws. so you realize that any punishment would have to be equally dispensed and since we would never do that to our s the ideas fade and are just ugly thoughts.

STRIPPER HOT?? WOW!! that's not a revenge thought my good man. that's a feel really really good fantasy.

Wow.

Why would you let your EX ruin you like this?

this is the white flag of surrender. The ex wife wins.

She DID win.

She got everything, I mean everything. She was REWARDED for adultery. OM came out if it totally unscathed.

I only escaped with my pet bird and that was only because she despised her.

You will have some credibility in my world when you can honestly tell me that if your wife tried to have you killed to keep her affair covered up, that you wouldn't be bitter about it.

I was done wrong in ways you could never even dream up, from her trying to get OM to kill me to my laying bleeding to death in the hospital and getting an emergency POA to refinance the house in her name only, taking the $30,000 equity to telling me that I should have died, it would have made things easier, to the day she abandoned me crippled on the side of the road in January, miles away from any form of civilization.

I still remember the moment I realized I had a goping hole in me and the blood gushing out in buckets and I called her to tell her I was badly wounded. She said I was a liar, don't interrupt my movie and hung up. She didn't believe me unitl BIL called her to tell her she better hurry as the bleeding was uncontrolable, she gets to the hospital angry at me for her getting a speeding ticket and says "don't think I've forgotten about WWIII".

I WOULD be bitter about it. Make no mistake about it.

BUT, she wouldn't win. No matter what material things she was able to take from me (BTDT) and no matter what injury was inflicted on me...there is one part of me that would forever be beyond her reach. She can't take away my ability to love, care, trust others. She can't take away my character and integrity.

I think you did the same thing with the church. I will tell you that very few have ever had a more horrible experience with the church than me...but, I do not allow that to sour my relationship with the head of the church...God. You have allowed your pastors response too much power. He is a man and obviously an a-hole. Same with your wife. That does not mean you need to surrender your character and lower yourself to their level.

JMHO.

I have to agree with MEDC here. You have let her win because you are too busy keeping score. Does that hurt her in the least? No!

I'm sure you feel terrible. You had an unsympathetic wife. One who never considered reconcilation. One who thought it would be better off if you were dead. I can only imagine the things she said to you about the shooting accident.

But good God man, don't let her ruin the rest of your life!

Well, I see that you all have managed to get yourself wrapped around the axle since I logged out last night over a couple of guys expressing their HONEST opinions, while most of the rest of you HIDE behind your own sanctimony.

Personally, I have lost a lot of respect for those posters, especially the BH's, who have chastised Pariah over his HONEST statements. You should be ASHAMED at your lack of understanding and compassion for another MAN who has endured so much. The BW's on this thread OBVIOUSLY just don't understand the male perspective, but the BH's owe Pariah an apology.

With the POLLYANNA attitudes that have been displayed on this thread, its no wonder there are so many WEAK and LOST BH's wandering aimlessly around this board. You all encourage WEAKNESS.

It may be my simplistic, southern appalachian, hillbilly heritage, but feelings of REVENGE are very REAL, and you all are discounting and/or discrediting them based on nothing but your own limitations of understanding.

Personally I think they discredit feeling, and thoughts of revenge...because they see the actual "release" of these feelings (by talking about them) as a sign of weakness...I beg to differ. And, any BS in this forum should know better.

As for myself (as I've already stated)...I probably wouldn't even be here if I would have learned to voice my thoughts and feelings a long time ago.

I commend others for doing so.