Ahhhh..but dogs and cats don't have to worry about contracting an STD and bringing it home when they are humping all over town.

The big V isn't gonna help anyone there.

Now...castration...that might get it all stopped.

committed

Of course not. Fear of pregnancy didn't stop my wife, and she was using zero birth control during her A.

Like many BSs, I do not fully trust my FWS, even though I have no reason to suspect she's cheating.

We have discussed these options, and the thought of her getting her tubes tied triggered me. Being fertile limited what she did with OM. Had her tubes been tied then, I'm sure OM would've had much more fun.

Get my point?

It's like letting your teenager borrow the keys to your car for the first time, only much, much worse.

So what if it's blanks? Isn't that the idea. The only difference is that there's no sperm in the ejaculation. Otherwise, it's business as usual.


LOL, I'd better give up my very satisfying sex life with my H then now that I'm in menopause. Oh, wait a minute, he had a V in his 30's and our sex life continued unhindered.

And I really don't know why I responded to that. :RollieEyes:

My H did have problems with his V. Painful erections and weird swelling. He did need to go back to the surgeon and have it looked at. After that (which was during the first six months after having it done) he was fine.

I don't know why IUD would be unethical. Guess I should read up on it. Does it work like the Morning After pill or something?

Merena listed some side affects I didn't like too much either. What about YAZ? has anyone tried that? It's suppoed to help with your moods. The mood s swings are bad on the other methods so I gotta find something.

Looks like each thing has a risk. Hubby is pretty conserned about me going through a TL. I think he feels he's hurt me enough and maybe he's afraid I wil get hurt doing this.

Hi veggie!

I could never take birth control pills, for the exact reasons as you.

I got an IUD, and it was wonderful. for 9 years.

However, there is one stipulation if you are going to do that.

YOU MUST BE IN A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP.

This is the kicker. I had one for 9 years, and it was great. My cycle was heavier, but a small price to pay.

However, if you are not in a monogamous relationship you have a greater risk for std's.

When I found out my H was having and A I got tested immediately and had it removed.

FYI

Love in Christ,
Miss M

If you choose an IUD, you MUST be in a monogamous relationship and not want anymore children.

ps. with an IUD, the sperm just doesn't make it up to the egg, it is blocked. I thought that was pretty ethical. No harm done.

(KiwiJ) It is also an emasculating procedure, and from what has been written by some men on this site I think I'll advised, as their egos are at an all time low.

As your H's case shows it can also be dangerous.

Reading of all the cheating wives on this site would sure make a man think twice of turning in his bullets. It was always in the back of my mind when my wife would mention it.

BTW to Conception, I would add Infection and Detection as some of the dangers I would have to think cheaters find exciting. But then again this is just my opinion.
NewJersey

I had always read that the IUD makes it a "hostile" environment for the egg and it won't implant. It doesn't prevent it from being fertilized by the sperm, it prevents it from taking a good hold of the uterine lining. Because of this aspect, it could be considered a spontaneous abortion...albeit only a few days fertilized. That is why the cycles were heavier and more painful. It was actually ridding itself of a fertilized egg. That was the ethical aspects of it.

Now, mind you, this was many years ago that I read this about an IUD. That's when they had to start removing them because the metal they used was determined to cause infertility and sometimes massive problems for women.

jmho
committed

So are you saying that my menopause, which has taken away my reproductive capabilities, has also taken away my femininity? I know some women DO feel that but I'm not one of them.

Kiwi,
I'm premenopausal and I feel great, very sexy, femine, sex drive up. I hope I stay this way during menopause - I know some women that stayed this way.

Veggie,
I had tubes tied six months after second child 13 years ago. It was painless - doctor went through my bellybutton, cut tube in three places. I didn't feel a thing and had no pain afterwards - haven't had problems since. I have small scar near bellybutton - barely noticeable. I enjoyed knowing I could have sex anytime and know I couldn't get pregnant (sex with H that is). H offered V but I chose tubal. Check thoroughly on IUD - heard horror stories on it.

G

Kiwij,

"So are you saying that my menopause, which has taken away my reproductive capabilities, has also taken away my femininity? I know some women DO feel that but I'm not one of them."

I'm saying don't give up your reproductive capibilites if you don't have to. If ones wife goes crazy and leaves with the kids forever even a 50 year old man can have more, if hes lucky/wealthy enough to find a fertile female.

But to answer your question, unfortunately in the eyes of many men yes femininity , vaginal walls get thinner, lubrication diminishes etc. For me no two words are as complimentry as
"I'm wet"

Newjersey

I don't agree with Benjamin Franklin at least not quite yet.

I'm the FWW. Just so you know.

Luckily, those symptoms of menopause haven't happened to me. I'm still able to produce as much lubrication as I ever did. Heck, blame my high libido. It's gonna take more than menopause to do anything about that. Hot flashes, yes. Mood swings, yes. A satisfying sex life with my H. Ooooh yes.

I'm still as feminine as I ever was. More so, because at my age I know who I am and I'm confident in all that I do. My smile is as wide now as it ever was. My sense of humour remains intact.

I am the IUD queen. Have never had any problem. NEVER. And I've had a bunch of them. Some were good for only one year. Some for up to three. Some for as much as 10 years. Now, I don't know about anyone else but 10 years of reversible birth control taken care of in 15 minutes sounds like a good plan to me.

I had an IUD between DS and DD. I had no problems at all with it.

The day I had my IUD taken out (I wanted another baby who turned out to be DD) I got pregnant.

LOL, my H and I always remember it. He said he "knew" the moment DD was conceived.

I had my tubal done in 1992. I was in and out the same day. No pain or discomfort at all. I was so nervous that I still used BC for many months afterwards. But I sometimes wonder now if I may change my mind if I were ever to meet somebody else someday. But I have done research and the surgical techniques have advanced so much that having it reversed you have over an 80% chance of conceiving. The cost is around $12,000+ and insurance doesn't usually cover it.

Kiwi,
Amen to everything you said.

NewJersey,
All women who go through menopause don't dry out and lose sex drive. For some women the opposite happens (wetness and sex drive increase). I think your definition of feminity means something else here. Like Kiwi, I feel more femine now than I ever was and my H loves it - and as for the dryness - there's creams.

(Sorry to all if this appears like hijacking post).

I had a vaasectomy when I was 38 and don't regret it now after my divorce.

I should have known something was up when the wife went back on the pill "for her complection".

No I haven't. I assume this means only having sex during certain times when you are less likely to get pregnant? This is not an option I would feel comfortable with. I think there is always a "chance" that method won't work and it would make it real difficult to relax during and after sex with the thought in mind that I might be pregnant.
I just know that I am completely done having more children. I have no desire to have more. I'm very happy with my son and daughter whom God has blessed me with. I don't feel I need more than that.

Being that you know you don't want kids and considering your age, I would go with Tubal. The technology today makes it very painless and you're in and out and you don't have to worry about something permanently being implanted in you (IUD). I don't regret my decision for tubal.

I'm not sure who this is directed to? ME?

I don't think that keeping a pregnancy out of the picture (between us) is going to save the marriage or keep hubby faithful. I DO think a pregnancy at this point would do more harm than good. I'm not so sure H ever truly wanted kids. maybe he was just "doing it for me". Our second child was unplanned. We weren't even sure if we could have more after his surgery and chemo. H became more distant after she was born. Had and EA with a woman he met throught a friend. Again, said she was a personal trainer...going to help him lose weight, feel better. Yeah I guess in a wasy she was making him feel better. HAH! I was home with a newborn and a 5 year old with ADHD going out my mind.
H loves both our kids but I know now he just not one of those guys who always loved the idea of being a dad and having kids. He doesn't spend quality time with them or even know what to do with them sometimes.

Why stay? I ask myself that a lot. I hope things will get better but I'm unsure. I just know a pregnancy would be a disaster while we are working this out. I know for sure if get got another woman pregnant I'd be done but then again just another affair would do the trick too.
I'm quite unsure of the future for my marriage but I am positive I don't want more kids with my H now or in the future and not even if I were to find another man. So a "permanent solution" is best I think as long as it's safe and doesn't cause more problems.