Pottery is going...well in that I have creative ideas and some time to make things. Once school rolls around again though I won't have time for making anything other than a few bowls here and there. So, in terms of making strides I'm more like standing still, but I feel fortunate to be able to teach pottery which keeps me involved.

You'll do fine with POJA if you both work out the parameters and ask questions if a situation is uncertain. You know, better safe than sorry.

in finance, the trend is your friend until the end
which is old fashioned. . modern finance looks at drivers, just the same as psychology and economics. . . what drives behavior or finance? emotional needs in behavior. . .

18 years in finance. . and counting

wiftty

I've spent the last 13 years as a single mom. I wonder what kind of trouble I would have with IB.

Wiftty, that made me laugh. I do get to hear some about drivers too.

Cinderella, it is really hard! I've only been on my own for 5 years. I think part of my problem is that I need to get more active in talking about what I want. For example, M is in control of the TV when we're home because I don't tell him I want to watch a different show!!!! We could negotiate it. Brilliant. You guys are the best.

We fell into that same TV thing.

These helped us.

1. I sat with him while he was watching TV. I got my notebook and had him tell me all the shows he liked. I wrote them down and the times. Then I wrote down all the shows I liked. Some shows he liked I actually liked also.

2. I made a TV show calandar so we could both watch the shows we wanted.

3. Then we got TIVO which made it ever easier. He just records every show he likes and every show I like and some shows he knows I might like that he finds (He searches for interesting TV shows like some search for gold)

Now, we just watch the TIVO shows mostly. It is so easy. I am never bored and he watches his shows that I dont like at the times he knows I will be doing other things like cooking, etc.

It took this POJA'ing to come up with this plan but now it is perfected and no more problems!

Greengables:

You should look at your and your FH's Myers-Briggs Type Indicators.

From what you say I suspect he is an
xNxP.

The N stands for iNtuition...that is somebody who looks for patterns and trends. I am like that too! I immediately see a trend in my husband's behaviors, while he says them as completely separate incidents as he is an "Sensing".

Sensing and iNtuition are the information-gathering (Perceiving) functions. They describe how new information is understood and interpreted. Individuals who prefer Sensing are more likely to trust information that is in the present, tangible and concrete: that is, information that can be understood by the five senses. They tend to distrust hunches that seem to come out of nowhere. They prefer to look for details and facts. For them, the meaning is in the data. On the other hand, those who prefer iNtuition tend to trust information that is more abstract or theoretical, that can be associated with other information (either remembered or discovered by seeking a wider context or pattern). They may be more interested in future possibilities. They tend to trust those flashes of insight that seem to bubble up from the unconscious mind. The meaning is in how the data relates to the pattern or theory.


The other factor you may have different is the Judging vs. Perceiving, that is:

In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

Judging people tend to like a decision to be made. Perceiving people like to keep their options open.I suspect you are a J and your FH is a P.

So are you exhibiting "Independent Behavior" or did you think that you discussed the issue and agreed, and then went on to implement the agreement where he discussed but liked to keep his options open?


I suggest you both take the "test" and see how you relate.

You can take the test here.
http://www.keirsey.com/sorter/register.aspx

Read here to see how two "types" interact.
http://www.personalitypage.com/relationships.html