Vegmom, NO my post was in response to Krazy's post....

NOT TO YOU~!

Vasectomy or tubes tied... [Re: VegMom36]
Krazy71 Krazy71
Member


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 664 BSs:

Does the idea of such a procedure being done on your FWS make you uneasy?

I think the various reasons are obvious...don't mean to hijack the thread.
_________________________
Me 36 y.o. BS -
Her 32 y.o. WS -
D-day - 7/10/06 -
Walked in on the act -
Trying my best to R


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#2106577 - 08/08/08 12:07 PM Re: Vasectomy or tubes tied... [Re: Krazy71]
Stellakat Stellakat
Member


Registered: 04/03/05
Posts: 5631 This is sad. Do you think the "fear of pregnancy" would keep a cheater spouse faithful? Or do you need "a surprise pregnancy from another person" to see if your spouse is cheating?

The whole idea is so sad to me. If it has come to that, why be married to the idiot.

Edited by Stellakat (08/08/08 12:08 PM)

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#2106582 - 08/08/08 12:14 PM Re: Vasectomy or tubes tied

Oh ok. Well guess I said too much then.

Veg,
I read some of your post. How is your R with H going? Is he committed to R?

G

Ggirl,

I understand feminity is a banquet, but why do so many men pick younger women to cheat with? Clearly the bin with confidence in it has less takers, not that thats the right way to look at things.

I think part of the answer is that men obsess about the physical part, alright well I do anyhow, and perhaps individual fetishes are more important to men.

NewJersey

NJ,
I disagree. There are plenty of women in their 40s who are physically knock outs. Men like younger women because their afraid of aging and death. Being with a younger woman makes a man feel young - it's all about feeding the ego for a man. And if you are single - more power to you for it - if it makes you feel better.

GGirl,
Not single, but it is interresting the gap between what a woman thinks of as an attractive fellow woman and what a man think of as such. I would love to have the time/money to do the sociological studys I have dreamed up for that question.

I did like your point on EGO gratification and think in many cases that is true.
nj

nj, of course there's no rule here but I've noticed that all 6 out of the 7 of your posts here have been on this thread.

So far all we know about you is that you think women aren't attractive after a certain age.

Do you have a story to share?

Hi NJ

Many Victorian men used to have a vasectomy to INCREASE their libido, rather than to inhibit conception. Go figure if that is emasculating or not.

I had the snip 11 years ago. Didn't make a vas defrens to our sex life

I decided I didn't want more kids under any circumstances and I abide by that decision. Squid of course agreed

I have a club tie that says " it takes balls to have the snip".

ROFLMAO Bob.

I can never resist that one Jen

The same surgeon performed the vas on both myself and my friend from work within a two week period. He used the same joke too :

"one down, two to go". Neither of us smiled while a big Welshman was attacking our bollocks with a knife and fork.

What added interest to MY operation is that Squid was a RGN at the time.

I lay on the trolley, cluster akimbo surrounded by surgery staff and heard those terrible words " Hi Squid ! " "Hi Helen, of and Hi Jane".

Yes...two of Squid's Nursing friends were assisting... * wince *

The doc joked "of course nobody's ever at their "porn star best" when they're having the snip. feel free to send the nursing staff a photo of a more "glorious" moment later on ! "

I never did.

I had a tubal 11 years ago.
I apologise if this is TMI....
I got an immediate period that lasted 4 days (mid cycle) incredible pain in the abdomen. For about a year after got frequent internal pain while having a BM. Doctors think i had some adhersion.
I dont recommend it to my friends.

Oh dear!

Must remember to BLEACH my mental eye when I shower tonight.

Yes he says he is committed to R. But saying and doing are not the same. We are in very early stages so it's pretty rough right now. I have been to one counseling session alone. He is going this Friday by himself.

Hmm well that's my case. H had an A with a younger woman (23). She was his personal trainer.
My H has been over weight for the last 10 years or more and recently (last 4 years) he's hit the obesity mark. I'm not sure what's happened to him over the years. He has changed drastically. He went from being a confident, fun-loving person whom I enjoyed lots of activities with, to a complete couch potato. The only thing he does with a passion is his job and even now that's changing. Maybe he's going through that mid-life crisis or something. He's just become a person I found unattractive on many levels which is making R difficult.

It is possible he's going to MLC hence the A but if he's been having health issue for several years, it's not MLC. Have you tried to get him to take a walk with you in the evenings? He may need to start with small steps to start feeling better about himself. You as the spouse need to be very sensitive in how you speak to him. For example, "I want to spend some time with, can we take a walk?." You have to make the situation loving but at the same time work on helping him move. Just taking a walk together can help motivate him and the time you share together can help you connect again. I'm no obesity expert but I would think it's a lot like being an alcoholic, it's a disease that will cause someone to spiral downward. Your H needs help and support.

G

I had my vascetomy 1/17/91, 3 months and a day after 2nd child was born ( I was 30). a daughter and a son. My wife had disc problems in her back and was told pregnancy can make it worse. I pushed for the vascectomy so we wouldn't need to worry any more about pregnancy and further back problems.

I can say the procedure went well. Not much pain just itchy at the site. You use BC for 6 months or until 3 "samples" comeback clean. My doctor said the more times you have "SF" the faster the samples hit zero.

My wife did love it that I would do this for her. It actually improved things in that department, no worries about time of month, could be spur-of-the-moment. She said I was more confident/sure of myself.

U2b Daniel

Sorry, what's MLC?
I have tried. It was harder in the begnning. He just refused to do anything about it. It was real hard to bring up and the problem was getting worse. I tried being gentle about it but he never took the hint seriously. Taking walks were not enough. We have 2 small kids and it's hard to get a good walk in. He's usually too tired at night anyway and won't go. Even tried to get him walk the dog. He complains that his feet hurt. He asked me to buy him an eliptical. We spent over $3000 on one he liked but he never uses it. I have gone as far as making every meal for him. I do all the shopping so I make sure we only get healthy stuff but sometimes he's just forget to eat (which is sometimes worse for you than eating bad)or he'd say he had to eat out etc. He's certainly started getting better at a routine of it but it's been frustrating because he's difficult. He's like a child about it. Are schedules don't work out well when it comes to going to the gym together and when he does he's the biggest whiner. "Oh I can't do that", "this feels akward" "I don't like that". We usually end up arguing more than training and he makes it unpleasant for me. We used to enjoy training together when we first go together. He was even required to do it for workfor a while. In the beginning we played racket ball,skiing, both liked martial arts. Then not long after we married he slowly lost interest. Our jobs also interfered in our schedules some. I kept training on my own but he didn't. No matter what angle I tried it failed. He finaly decided to hired a PT. He hired her without telling me and told me only after he paid her like $500. This was after is second affair and I got mad at him telling him it was a bad idea to hire a woman and he knew it because the MC even said never to do something like that. He said it wasn't a big deal because they'd never be alone and he said "Oh she's young and not even pretty and she won't have any interest in me". He even introduced her to me and tried to be open about their meetings. I always thought I was informed but I was wrong. He started playing paint ball with her and he would constantly brag about her all the time. I was getting sick of it and I'm sure it showed. I got so annoyed when he'd tell me what great workouts he's have with her. How could I not! It's so ironc because he always would asy to me, "I'm doing it for you so I can lose weight." I can't help but wonder if thats what he though when he was rolling in the sack with her.

AH just looked it up MLC = Midlife crisis.

KiwiJ

"Do you have a story to share?"

I am a child of an affair, and found this site by accident, Thank God. I originally read the OC/Preg posts trying to understand what my biological parents were thinking, how my first legal father felt and that sort of thing. The actual story is long and unfortunate, my Mother attempted suicide and other ugliness, so I won't repeat it here. Children are wounded by affairs too.

Reading the OC posts lead me to read the Infidelity posts and this gave me a real wake up. In many of the threads I saw myself or my wife or both, think the goast of Christmas future, and it was somewhat terrifing how close we all are to emotional he11.

What was another shocker was how many posts some people have made 10's of thousands, clearly for some people a wound which never heals.

All fantasies of my having an affair were destroyed utterly, just reading some threads is a killer, all glamor erased. I no longer see CHEATERS as funny.

My wife couldn't believe the turn around, btw.

This site and the people on it have be a real blessing in my life, Thank You
NJ

NJ,
Thanks for sharing.

G