SA,

Would you consider people use drama as a shortcut to communicate? Like an effort to touch, reveal, explain, share or relate...without doing the work? Reaching for the universal...isn't that awful stuff...is about the depth of connection they desire?

Lots of lousy communication techniques...just another one that doesn't get the job done?

LA

SA, has it occurred to you that your self-esteem is so...healthy, that there's no room for anyone else in your life?

Seriously, the only people I can think of who would be attracted to a person who believes and says the things you do are the types you're trying to get away from.

A serious, intelligent, mentally healthy woman who spent even 5 minutes next to a man who espouses the things you claim to say and do, would shake her head and walk away - quickly.

If I were you, and truly serious about finding a good potential partner, I would do some soul searching about myself, maybe with the help of an IC, and maybe learn some things about myself. And learn some humility. Extreme self-satisfaction - even if it's bourne out of insecurity - is not attractive.

SA, we're just asking that you actually take some responsibility for your actions. If you're only attracted to drama queens, that's fine. But, then you need to girue out how you can behave to minimize the impact their flair for drama has on your life. Abandonning your date in a convenience store is not really geared to minimize the drama, nor is following up with an invective email. The woman knew you didn't enjoy the date, further communication could only continue the saga. Luckily, she was less of a drama queen than you and didn't respond. It would likely change your relationships if you saw how your actions contributed to, or possibly, precipitated the drama.

I have dated drama queens. I am not certain what they expect.

Yes, but auto, you yourself don't seem to add to the drama the way Steve Austin does.

I have a couple of low-level drama queens in my family, and they can be wonderful fun IF you accept that the highs come with lows. Everything is BIG with these people--there is nothing mincing in their emotions or their actions. And there is nothing secret with the drama queens I know. If they are going to be sneaky, they broadcast "sneakiness" with their body language, and other actions. Hence, they always get caught. The ones I know dread boredom, and some of them are insecure, but not all of them. Drama queens are also given to absolutes. Words like always, never, everyone, nobody, forever, pepper their speach. Consider how you phrased your post. You've dated some drama queens. Then consider SA's posts. Women love drama and invent it. None of the non-drama queens he's dated have attracted him physically. SA paints with broad strokes, absolutes and generalizations, much like the unreformed drama queens I know.

+1

Well said.

"no i dont agree with women use drama cause they see you as a bear."

No, but the joke about the bite was funny!

One of the problems with being a drama queen is that literalists like me, believe what they say. So, when a girl friend says "I can never date you again. Our relationship is tarnished forever!" I believe it. I go off and meet a new girl and then get yelled at for being unfaithful. !?!?!?! Wait a minute, I thought we were through!!!

SA-
If I dare give my opinion...
I remember how you were so thrilled at dating after your M was over, and how you felt on like your options were endless...

I think that you just want a piece of arm candy. That does not really have much of a mind. Or that DOES, and is really hot. I would venture to guess that you meet most of the women you date in bars... and they have had a few, and are looking for a good time. Fine for them, fine for you... UNTIL, you actually start looking at people like that for more than just a good time.

Most of them DO NOT want any real type of R, they are just looking for fun once in a while, or a temporary physical fix. They neither really want, or ARE, looking for a serious R.

I know some men that are dear friends, that only want the 'arm candy'. And I must say that it sometimes comes with a HUGE cost. What are YOU looking for in a woman, besides her looks?

"Most of them DO NOT want any real type of R, they are just looking for fun once in a while, or a temporary physical fix. They neither really want, or ARE, looking for a serious R."

That's true. For the guys too. That's why after learning what they were all like (I'd never been in a bar before I was 38) I stopped hooking up with anyone from a bar. (stopped dating period for quite some time) Finally decided I didn't have to have a man to make it. That helps put things in a little better perspective when I am dating. If I like one fine, if not then I can go home at night knowing I can sleep without the worries of a bad relationship.

And by the way, from what I've learned, the females that are out looking for the temporary physical fix generally have BIG problems to go with it. Just 'cause they don't want to get married doesn't mean they won't follow you around and give you trouble in some other relationship. I've seen it happen to a couple of male friends in the past.

I sure don't get involved. Don't want anything to do with a situation like that. Got enough stuff of my own to deal with alone out here in the real world. A bar is just a place to go when you don't want to face anything else (unless they have a good band playing).

Auto, I had to laugh when I read your lastest post. I'm not much of a drama queen myself, but I've seen that scenario played out many times.

Obviously, drama queens, in mild drama queens, are not a good choice for you. And, we can only hope the lady who said it was over in a fit of drama has learned a valuable lesson.