SD,

I'm with Chris, don't let anything or anyone stop you from being there for that once in a lifetime moment.

You can handle ignoring SCQ.

Remember, you are better, stronger, faster - - oh wait, that's the Six Million Dollar Man. But hey, you still fit that same description, PLUS more!!

I'm with Chris and Bugs..

I'd just go and pretend the SCQ wasn't there..

I know it's a little triggering her telling DD that you can't get along.. well.. DD will figure out on her own sooner or later that it wasn't your choice.. it was hers.

Until then.. just be THE GUY

You are that guy you know.

I haven't heard anything from the SCQ, but you guys have convinced me to go to the first day of school whether or not I have the kids. I've had enough practice--I can certainly ignore the SCQ.

Over the past few days, I've been feeling a strong urge to start looking for Someone Else, which is usually a sign that something else is bothering me. Not sure what it is. Maybe residuals from the contact.

Previously, I have recommended to other people that when they start to get distracted by thoughts about their WS, that they should take this as a sign that their life isn't full enough and then do something about it. I'm not sure whether that advice works for me or not given that it's not really thoughts about the SCQ that are distracting me.

I recognize that this has been a very disjointed post, even for a Monday, but mostly what I wanted to do was get one of these on my thread:

DD5 told me about POSOM's dogs last night.

SDGuy - Our MB men always do just fine, so don't worry about finding someone else. They get snapped up like the treasures they are.

You have fought a good fight, been a good dad and will be happy again one day.

Honestly, there are times when I just miss the companionship of the opposite sex and all that entails. It had nothing to do with the Zombie AT ALL. It has to do with the desire for someone to share MY life with. Seems perfectly normal to me.

Gracias, mis amigas.

I guess it sounds like I'm connecting the longing with the SCQ, but I'm really not. I think it's better to be thinking about other people than stewing over the SCQ. It's just that I'm not divorced yet. Soon, I hope.

Man, I love that puking emoticon.

Exactly my thoughts, too. I was just explaining to Ladybug that 'dating' does not always equate to having a boyfriend. It's can be about having a nice evening. I told her that I like (and it's good) to be taken out for a nice evening, to be treated like a lady by a nice man. Her response was "Daddy used to do that for you." So, obviously I am not the only one that still has those thoughts!

SD, we are social creatures. We were created that way. I think it's totally normal to want to spend time one on one with another.

Patience,,,,yet another challenge in our path.

Hoping you have a great day!

Man SD.. I totally feel where you're at.

Starting to think this band thing with me right now might not be the best idea. On one hand it's a huge release.. on the other hand, it will soon be putting me in close social contact with attractive women filling my admiration EN from the first word..

'That was a really great set..'
'I just love that bassline in the third song..'
'You guys.. blah blah blah'

Especially during those times where you're having thoughts of just how nice it would be to stand there with your arms around someone.. just to feel like SOMEONE was there that you can share the moment with.. I worry that it'll be far too easy for me to slip..

Maybe that I worry about it now will help prevent that.. but then again, I don't have the cute girl in the downward dog position either.. that's probably generating thoughts all its own though..

I know it's been longer for you, but it's been just shy of a year for me since DDay and last real contact with W before she transformed completely into WW.. It's not the longest stretch I've gone without a steady partner in my life.. but I can definitely say the longing for someone to share those moments with is highly increased.

Totally understand that those feelings and thoughts lead back to SCQ.. mine lead back to WW.. because it's the feelings that I shared with her that I miss.. I'm sure I can have those feelings with someone else.. but like you, I'm still married.. so it's natural to want to have them with W.. but for you and I both brother.. that woman doesn't exist on this planet right now. Maybe the aliens will return them to Terra Firma.. but we both know the importance of WHAT IS, and how to deal with that right?

Just remember to take your time - yeah, I know. Your spouse still has to crash and burn. For me, it happened less than 2 weeks after the divorce was final. Then it took him another 7 months to start coming around begging for another chance. By that time, I had another man.

And I'm old enough to be your grandmother. But available men were popping up all over the place.

Statistics say that you will be remarried within 3 years of the divorce, if that happens. So tread carefully and make good choices.

I really liked the thought of available men popping up around believer. I want to have a loving man in my life so I am happy to have some hope for a possible future. Possible and probable although not preferable from my point of view.

Thread carefully SD, none of us have a map or a manual for our lives but we may find amazing things if we explore them well.

Yes, yes, and yes. I think it has been at least three years since I had dinner with a woman who wanted to be there with me and was interested in me as a man. It is now painfully obvious to me how disengaged the SCQ was at the end and during our false recovery.

So, yeah, I would like to try this out again. I have heard from a, um, friend how intoxicating it is just to engage in witty banter on a date. What a concept.

Yeah, this will be the hard part. I think it will be hard not to just rush into things, like the world whooshing into the vacuum that that part of my life has become. I think it's a good thing I'm not in a band, James. So far, I haven't faced a whole lot of temptation--most of my time is either around married friends and neighbors or married co-workers.

On another note, the loan funds today, so the SCQ and POSOM can start picking out furniture and china.

I hope she marks thing with her name so when this all falls apart, she'll at least have her "stuff."

Yuck.


I won't say which, um, friend I think this is....but I'm sure he is right.

Been on one or two of those myself lately. It's quite an exhilerating feeling to be the cause of someone else's genuine smile and laughter - and to have it drawn out of yourself almost before you realize it happened.

It's a bit surprising.


Downward dog yoga girl doesn't count?

Seriously, though, you probably have developed a "bubble" around yourself without realizing it. Giving off the "not available" vibes, or staying away from places that hold the potential of meeting someone.

They'll be there......when you are ready.

Just " "


Fox

She's usually stretching in some other part of the gym while I'm trying to concentrate on downward dog. If she were in the class doing down dog . . .


But my classes are at work, and I don't really know her.

Yes, I need to remember to

I actually went on a date Saturday night. It was with my Junior year Prom date that I ran into a few weeks ago. She's now a Doctor. I was praying for sparks, but there just wasn't any. I'm sure it looked like we were hitting it off, but it was really just two old friends laughing about high school and catching up on life after.

It still felt good to be in public with a woman having a good time. It sparks interest from other women and does wonders for your self confidence. I was getting looks from women all night. If I was there alone I wouldn't have been noticed at all.

We'll probably continue to get together from time to time, but I don't think either one of us has any intentions on going anywhere with it. We just have too much buddy history.

I'm also going to a singles social the diocese is putting on Thu night. I'm just hoping there's people my age there.

So it's really cool once you get past all the divorce garbage. Hang in there.

Are there any naughty bits we need to hear? We like hearing about the naughty bits.


How hard are you concentrating on keeping your dog down?


So true BC.

I don't know what you are talking about.


Fox

Just what I thought, no naughty bits.

Sheesh, and I was going to try to avoid the whole binder discussion.

Allright, that giant purple head thing just freaks me the he11 out

Unfortunately, nothing the TOS can tolerate.