Is it possible she called her BF phone so that the BF could call three way to the OM? This would circumvent OM's number being on your W's cell log.

I would not say anything...don't let on that you are watching her so closely and set up the recorder pronto. You need hard evidence for your exposure.

No, no..don't confront her just yet. Are you absolutely sure this BF's phone number belongs to BF? Because, Waywards sometimes,add OM's or OW's phone number to a persons name you wouldn't suspect. And it is usually under their friends name so you WON'T suspect. You have a bit more investigation to do. Don't leave any wiggle room. There's room for at least 3 numbers
on a cell phone listing. Check all the numbers under BF's name
just to be sure. GF

It is the actual number listed. This number has belonged to BF for at least a few years. I have been seeing in on our home caller idea for years.

I want to lay into WW so bad, I am going to follow what you say and not do that. I am going to my sisters house after work tonight to hang out, so I should be able to relax before seeing WW again.

[quote=thisbitterpill1]Is it possible she called her BF phone so that the BF could call three way to the OM? This would circumvent OM's number being on your W's cell log.

I would not say anything...don't let on that you are watching her so closely and set up the recorder pronto. You need hard evidence for your exposure. [/quote

I agree with thisbitterpill1. A recorder is needed here unless someone else on this forum knows anything more about three way phone calls. It certainly sounds like your ww and her bf are using each others phones to set up three way calls for each other.

Listen noname. Your wife is LYING to you. Spouses DO NOT lie UNLESS they are HIDING something! She and her BF are covering for eachother and screwing around.



Get your evidence ASAP and EXPOSE to the world.

Don't be afraid!

I may have been afraid earlier this week, but I think I have finally found my courage. I feel sick at the fact that I pretty much know she is screwing around. At the same time I kind of feel good that have made a plan and I am set on following it. I have talked to both of my parents and my sister now and they have all said they are there for me. I knew they would be it just felt good to get it out and hear it from them.

I know they are covering for each other. I cannot figure out an explanation that would explain this. That 3-way calling is something I hadn't thought of before. That is a very real possibility.

If you get to the point of recovery I would URGE you to get these "BF's" out of your life. I would absolutely make it a condition for the marriage to move forward. They are poison.

My wife's childhood friend covered for her. They haven't spoken since. And if they do, my wife's out on her [censored]. No wiggle room there.

At this point in WW life I think she would choose BF over our M. She tells me all the time that BF and me are equals in her life.

I know she is very bad for our M. I hope I make far enough to tell WW her BF cannot be apart of our life together.

I'm pissed off FOR you noname. It makes me sick to see WW's jerk around their husbands.

Personally, I'd toss her [censored] to the curb IMMEDIATELY after exposure. And that would happen tonight!

Coddling her has gotten you no where. What do you have to lose?

Another possibility is that, if your WW and her BF really are in cahoots to hide their wayward behaviour, the BF simply gave your WW's OM her phone for that day, if they know that you're reviewing the cell phone records.

I'm with the others on the suggestion of using a recorder to find out what your WW actually says on those calls.

Ok, so I'm not the brightest bulb around - I guess this the time period that they were supposed to be together having dinner, so that's why you think she's lying?

That is exactly how they did it since D-day 1.

If that's what's been happening, and your WW and BF are going that far to hide things from you, then your WW is probably going to be a fountain of denial if you bring up the issue with her.

Have you considered hiring a PI to find out what your WW does when she thinks you're not looking?

I'm not going to fully jump on the bandwagon that others are pushing that suggests your WW is still in contact with the OM (my FWW said a lot of things yours did and I'm pretty sure that there was no contact going on). However this latest development sure looks suspicious. I would advise though that you get some definite proof of wayward behaviour before exposing.

In the interim, continue the best Plan A you can manage, and see what you can do to run interference against that BF's influence on your WW.

All that I found in WW email is the following quote.

Are you going to be online tonight? I am going to be home around 12:30ish and would love to chat if your interested??????

This was sent to a guy who works at her office. She works from home so she doesn't see every day but could email him.

I know there is more to this I just haven't found it yet. Looks like I need a recorder.

Yup, a comment like that definitely suggests that there's more going on. Looks like there's a possibility that this is OM #2.

What chat tool is she using - MSN? If you have her password, you could enable the history option so it will save a copy of any chat session that she has.

You may also want to make yourself a bit scarce around that time - sort of give her enough rope to hang herself with.

Do you have a digital recorder yet? I've found that the Creative Zen thingies, while good portable media players, also make pretty good digital recorders, and their credit-card size make it easy to hide them away (and it's easier to explain away the presence of a media player than a digital recorder!). I don't think it's voice-activated, but the amount of built-in memory that you get with it is enough to give you enough more hours of recording time than you know what to do with.

I really didn't think I would need a recorder but I do now.

I will find out what chat she is using once she does it again with the key logger.

NoName,

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

I could tell that you had it in you.

It sucks to be having to face this, but you're in a much better frame of mind to take care of business NOW.

Keep snooping ... get your evidence ... and then do what you need to do.

FYI, courage is a DECISION that you make, not a feeling that randomly infects some and not others. When people say "I have no courage," they are really saying, "I am refusing to make a decision because I am scared."

Courage is a decision to take action even when you are scared. Anyone can CHOOSE to have courage, it is a CHOICE.

p.s. I think the others are giving you good advice, but I will tell you that your W is so brazen that she will ONLY respond to very decisive ACTION. If you waffle and waver she will use it to exploit you.

She has been trained somehow to abuse you and I suspect you trained her by having NO BOUNDARIES. As you can see, that has not served you or your children well.

Women do not love men they can't respect, and they do not respect men they can run over and abuse. It is unmanly and disgusting. So, if you get a hankering to appease her when she is being abusive, just remember that you are harming your marriage by doing so. Appeasing her only emboldens her to continue her abuse.

I don't really disagree with you ML, but it is also quite obvious (with some very good examples on this forum right now) that some BH's will never make that "choice".

NoName has now removed himself from those ranks, by making that "choice", and I bet it will be quite a surprise to his WW when she discovers that there are now boundaries in effect.

However, NoName ... listen to the rest of ML's advice ... DON'T WAVER at this point, and watch as your position improves.