I am wondering how people here feel about partners going out to bars without their spouse.

I am of the belief that this is NOT something that should happen.

Thoughts.

The "bar" is where WW am OM used to hang out....so, NO !!!!!

Absolutely NOT.

I see this mentioned on some threads and I am amazed that it doesn't seem to cause a big

I think MelodyLane says it best; "Married People need to act like Married People, and do the things that Married People do TOGETHER"...... or something close to that.

Bars, night clubs, etc. without your spouse, IMO

I agree. Bars are nothing but temptation. There is nothing wrong with a husband and wife going together.

NOPE!!

That's where my H met the OW while I was working nights!

That's a no go.

An absolute resounding NO WAY!!!!!!!

I go on occasion. About six months ago I went to a cigar lounge with 8 of my friends where we listened to piano lounge music, smoked cigars, and drank bourbon and beer.

Two weeks ago I went to a sports bar with my outdoor soccer team to watch the MMA fight and have some drinks. Since most of the guys are married, they brought their wives. Mine had just gotten off two 13 hour shifts and just wanted to crash out and a loud, smoky bar was the last place she wanted to go.

So in about the last 6 months I've been twice to a bar without my spouse. She's gone out a few times with her nursing friends. They don't do the bar but love to meet up at a Mexican restaurant for food and margaritas.

We don't have any issues with each other going out on occasion with friends. There would be an issue, however, if it were a club where there's the possibility of dancing with members of the opposite sex.

I don't think married people should "routinely" go to bars without their spouse.

I use the word "routinely" because I know for myself that I have to attend the occassional "going away" party for an employee that gets celebrated during happy hour at a local bar, and I do not invite my spouse.

If bars are a regular hangout, no
If bars are attended alone, no
Depends on TYPE of bar.


Its my business, so I go to bars, with friends a few times during the week, never more than a few hours. My wife and her FEMALE friends or teachers from work meet a restaurant or bars that serve food once every few months.

In the above scenerios, I can't possible see how that is a problem in itself. Affairs can happen anywhere. I agree that going out with single unmarried friends or friends of the opposite sex is asking for trouble, especially if the spouse is sitting at home waiting. I guess that is the main thing. If you are going to bars when you could be spending time with your spouse, going often, going to pickup joints and going with single or opposite sex friends, well then you got a problem.

I hope that my opinion was clear.

I somewhat disagree. If the spouse is going with a group of their same sex friends who are all married or mostly married, is there something to worry about? If it's happy hour for an hour after work?

If the spouse is going to a club by themselves or with only one other friend, that's a problem I think. I really wouldn't fill too good about a club at all, but wouldn't be too bothered if was a big girls get together, like a bridal shower or something. I would not like it if it was a country bar where it is quite common for guys to ask girls to dance.

I guess I just see it as situational. There are some places where people go to hookup and some to just hang out with friends.

edit: My wife has a monthly game of keno with friends, and I have a monthly poker game, both are at people's homes, but I don't think it would be a problem if it was moved to a bar. My wife will go to happy hour with coworkers occassionally, and I do the same. We'd both be home by about 8 at the latest. I see this as almost the same as playing on a softball team or something.

IMHO, this is a recipe for disaster.

Co-workers are a huge source for infidelity.

As for going out with married friends....what difference does that make? People that are or were married make up about 99% of this board. You see where that got them.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and judgement. Mix that with people you are familiar with...and boom...bj in the parking lot. It happens all the time.

My WW used to go to the bar without me, and come home early..........until the night she didn't come home that is.

I agree with MEDC all the way on this one.

So if youre wife called and said that she was going out with co workers for, I don't know, someone was leaving their job, and she DOESN'T MAKE A HABIT OF THIS, and she has NEVER given you ANY reason to think she had been unfaithful, you would tell her, no she couldn't?

I would EXPECT that she would ask me to go...if I couldn't for some reason...then yes, she couldn't go.

Honestly, she wouldn't ask the question about going alone as it would be clearly understood that neither of us go to bars without the other.

Fair enough. If that works for your marriage, then it works.

My wife has been unfaithful....no she couldn't go, unless we POJA'd it before hand.


Let's just say that my W and I get divorced and I start over with someone else......we'd still have to POJA it or she would not be someone I'd go out with or marry.

For me it would be my husband, but the answer is yes, i would tell him no.

If he wanted to go to a restaurant (where alcohol is served) i would probably not mind, but not to a bar.