I am still snooping. I do believe there has not been any contact.

Her EA was 9 months long. I discovered it after 3 months but it didn't stop. I hate thinking about that time. I just knew something was up but I couldn't figure it out. I questioned her but never spied on her, which is what I had to do to catch it. So it went on for another 6 months before it ended.



I do my best to avoind LB's but I have slipped up now and then. I'm trying my best to continue this. I do see signs of her coming back sometimes. She will say things to me or just act a different way like she used to. This morning was nice, she showed me some affection when we woke up.

With our anniversary tomorrow this is an opportunity for me to meet one of her biggest needs I haven't met very well in the past. On days like this she wants me to show her how much I care. She basically wants me to make a fuss over her. I don't know how else to describe it, romance is a word she uses. I have a couple things I will put in her office before I leave in the morning and then we are going out to nice restaurant at night.

Maybe its just my cynical nature, but FogFree and I discussed your WW's fainting episode and we think there is a GOOD chance that she either faked it, or AT LEAST milked it for all it was worth to keep avoiding the real issues for as long as possible. She is manipulating the situation as much as she possibly can.

In your case Plan A simply isn't working, but it rarely does anyway. I like how you've stopped taking her "stuff" ... I think its very important for you to stand your ground as often as necessary ... don't let her BS you about ANYTHING.

I refuse to take any more crap from her. I guess I have set a timeline in my head of when things need to change by. I have not and will not share with her that I have this in my head. I am going to continue to meet her EN's and try my best not to LB. I will not look needy or pathetic to her. I need to avoid this slip up like this past weekend. I will not talk about our M anymore. If she wants to talk she can bring it up.

I want to have the wife back that I married. I know she is still there because I see her once in awhile. I hope she comes back but if she doesn't I am working on getting myself ready to move on without her.

So this afternoon I read in her email that her "friend" from high school who I consider an OM contacted her. She hadn't responded to him by the end of the day. I sat at work watching her email and waiting. Tonight is my bowling night so I was gone this evening. I checked the key logger and nothing, she hasn't replied to him. I checked her email and our house phone, no calls to OM. As far as I know she has not contacted him back. She may have but I can't find it.

I guess my question now is should I call this POS? Honestly I would like to kick his teeth down his throat, but that would be wrong so I will do my best not too. His email was innocent, he said he hadn't heard from her in awhile and was wondering how things were going.

Tomorrow is our 8 year anniversary. I really don't want it to be ruined. But if she contacts him back I have no choice but to tell her to f-off.

When I got home she said her head hurt because she was stressed. I am taking her in about this soon. I rubbed her back and head for a couple minutes while we talked about bowling and tomorrow night. I know the reason she is stressed is because this POS contacted her. I will probably call this POS soon. I just don't want to let on that I am watching her email.

Happy 8th F-IN anniversary to me. Here is what my WW responded to her OM from high school with. She said she has cut off all contact with him and they were just friends.

Hey Scott

I sent you an email about a week ago or so, did you not get it? Since I didn't hear back from the last email I sent and you didn't show up at the reunion I kinda thought you weren't that interested in chatting anymore ?? I figured you thought I was a mess after that Saturday night and then with my husband hacking into my email......

Anyways your right things are about the same..... about a week ago I thought we had finally finished it got into a huge fight said a lot of things BUT then the next day I passed out at home and was out for around 30 min hit my head on my desk and was bledding everywhere, when I came to I was really scared. I spent the day in the ER, the doctors think I had a seizure so until just a couple days ago I couldn't drive. I'm still waiting to hear back on some test results. The doctor told me to take it easy until they figured out what happened and to avoid stress so needless to say we haven't talked about anything since then.

I totally understand if you don't want to talk anymore, I really like the friendship that has developed over the last couple months and I definitely would be interested in getting to know you more that just a friend but obviously I'm in the situation I'm in. Let me know your thoughts:)

Change of subject how is softball going?? Are you done yet or is the season still going?

I put some stuff in her office this morning for our anniversary. She sent me a message telling me it made her smile and thanking me. She told me she is looking forward to going out tonight.

I am trying to hold this for a little longer so that she really hangs herself today. It is really hard. I'm just shaking right now I'm so mad. I got my list ready to expose AGAIN. I really want to tell her to F-off and kick the crap out of OM.

Please give me some support.

I am so sorry. To be honest, I have been worried that your WW was addicted to the pursuit of an OM rather than OM...but I was really hoping more would chime in on this.

I agree with what MyRev had said to you about Plan A not working but as it sounds like you have done a good Plan A, you should have a more successful Plan B. Are you thinking about getting ready to do that?

No matter what, you do need to reexpose, especially to OM3's W or GF. Have you found out info about him?

((NoName))

It looks like it's time to show her the door and go plan b.

You read in black and white that she wants a PA with this man.

Re-expose, suggest to her she leave but don't threaten. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME!

I know who he is now. He is divorce because his wife left him.

I guess my anniversary plans or off now.

One question. I have these emails printed out here at work. I want to scan them in and send them to my WW telling her that today she makes a decision. She either ends this in my way or tomorrow I end the marriage. I assume I should expose first and then send this to her. That's a stupid question, I know you will say not to give her any warning.

I am just really burning up right now. I can't believe this.

I hesitate to give advice to move to Plan B since I never officially did that...but I think it would be fruitless to stay in Plan A any longer. IMO, your best chances would be to move to Plan B and teach your wife a lesson about your boundaries and let her experience life without you meeting her ENs anymore.

The thing with that is she won't move out of the house. I don't want to leave my family so how should I go about that?

I put a shoutout for Plan B vets. Hopefully someone will be by soon to help answer that question....but definitely do not leave your house.

Have you read up on Plan B under the basic concepts or Q&A columns? Maybe once you read more you can decide if you are sure you ready to take that step...

I know some of the things you can do to get your Plan B ducks in a row are working on your letter and separating the finances in the meantime.

Hang in there!

I agree with you that its ultimatum time. Exposure is worthless at this point ... you aren't looking for outside influences to help your WW decide what's right ... IT'S UP TO HER NOW!!!

She can recommit RIGHT NOW ... or you can ask your attorney to request an injunction against her to leave the marital residence due to her continued and future planned infidelities as part of the divorce petition.

I was concerned that it would take this for you to have a chance, albeit a small one, but the time has come.

STAY STRONG and GOOD LUCK!!!

Thank you for the encouragement, I really need it today. It's so hard to understand how she can do this when we talked about our anniversary plans tonight and that she was looking forward to them. I guess it's still hard to believe that she can lie like this but she has done it before.

But I'm through. I have wrote my email to her but haven't sent it off yet. I am going to tell her to make a decision and let me know when I get home or we are through. I will also attach the emails between her and OM so she can't deny it. She will yell at me for snooping but I will just say look at what I found when I did.

I am also going to be call in OM today too.

GOOD for you, I am a huge advocate of confronting OM. OM are usually POS just looking for some quick action. Once you insert yourself into their little secret ... your WW becomes WAY TOO MUCH TROUBLE. Every man knows they are playing with fire when they play around with a married woman ... they just think they will NEVER get caught ... once caught, however, they will most likely slink back under their rock waiting for their NEXT opportunity with the NEXT woman.

No guy in this early stage of a relationship wants to have to deal with a pi$$ed off HUSBAND!!! When you speak with him ... have your spript memorized and speak in calm, cool easily understood language ... He will come UNGLUED at your COOLNESS!!!

I am going through this but still cant even imagine how you are feeling. I am sorry that this is happening to you. I am praying for you and your wife.

I agree that you should remain Calm and Cool while talking to OM. I talked to OM yesterday was calm assertive and laid everything out. I even told him I hoped he worked it out with his wife. He just sat there dumbfounded with nothing to say.

You will be much happier with yourself when you are Calm and Cool.

Thanks for the comment. This is the second POSOM I have confronted. Hopefully this one goes as well as the last. The last one decided it wasn't worth it and cut my WW off.

I just sent my email to WW telling her what I know and telling her this it. I also attached a copy of her email exchange with OM. I said I will end this marriage now if she doesn't agree to my terms.

I also exposed to our families and some friends. I'm sure the combination of this and my email will really set her off. I'm not going to take her calls this afternoon.

Bombs away!!!!

She called and left a message so I called back. She is really mad about her privacy again. I spoke calmly to her the whole time. She said she told OM that she would like to get to know him as more that a friend out of "pure curiosity". I just told her that is a bunch of crap. Saying something like that is not being faithful.

She is really mad and of course it's all my fault because I can't give her any privacy.

She is going to get even more nuts once some of her family start calling her.

It's going to be a stressful night again.