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Where is the consistency in that? are you intentionally trying to prove Mel's point? *******EDIT*******
Last edited by JustUss; 09/06/08 11:42 AM. Reason: TOS personal attack
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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introvert, we already agreed with you. What is your beef? Mel, don't interrupt him when he is arguing with himself.
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Where is the consistency in that? are you intentionally trying to prove Mel's point? ****EDIT**** Mel is a damn fine person and a friend of mine. YOU seem to be the one with the issue here Introvert.
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why get defensive over that? Integrity doesn't mean yuou are good or bad...just that you use a consistent set of standards to make decisions.
Character is something to get offeneded about! Sorry, I misenterpreted(sp) this post. Go ahead....flame away.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Thanks, MEDC 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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no problem Intro...let's move on.
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Where is the consistency in that? are you intentionally trying to prove Mel's point? Mel is a control freak.....she needs more help than us. Mel is a damn fine person and a friend of mine. YOU seem to be the one with the issue here Introvert. She seems to be a fine person...I agree. But, she also seems to have the need to control other people. Just an observation, that's all.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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it's not possible to exert control on a forum. You may FEEL that way...but she doesn't have that ability of motivation.
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"had a knee-jerk reaction to my wife's adultery by having a ONS." Oh man, I have heard everything now. Having sex with someone outside the marriage is NOT a knee-jerk reaction! It is a CHOICE! (Or it is .... something else, not some kind of automatic, assumed, response to being cheated on by a spouse!) 
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Consistent? I'm 33 years old, been in a relationship for 7 years, been completely faithful, until I had a knee-jerk reaction to my wife's adultery by having a ONS. Where is the consistency in that? It doesn't matter about what she did. YOUR personal integrity, which is your consistent set of VALUES when making decisions, was shout clean out of the water when you decided to have a ONS. You didn't adhere to your set of values when you decided to do that. (The values that kept you faithful for all those years) Therefore, your integrity is SHOT all to hale (sic). YOUR integrity has absolutely NOTHING to do with what she did. If you are basing it on what is done TO you....you have zero in my book. You can claim you have it til the cows come home...but unless others WITNESS it...you ain't got any. JMHO committed
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Back to the discussion.
I am not advocating RA's nor am I trying to justify mine.
All I am saying is that the RA I had had more to do with WW ending her A than any other thing that I tried at the time. Was it my intention to have a ONS to get my wife back?...no. But, in hindsight....it did just that.
I think that plan A is a good way to start off trying to end an affair, but I think plan B is just too far out in left field for me...to be frank. For me, there is only 2 plans that I could possibly do....A, and D.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Consistent? I'm 33 years old, been in a relationship for 7 years, been completely faithful, until I had a knee-jerk reaction to my wife's adultery by having a ONS. Where is the consistency in that? It doesn't matter about what she did. YOUR personal integrity, which is your consistent set of VALUES when making decisions, was shout clean out of the water when you decided to have a ONS. You didn't adhere to your set of values when you decided to do that. (The values that kept you faithful for all those years) Therefore, your integrity is SHOT all to hale (sic). YOUR integrity has absolutely NOTHING to do with what she did. If you are basing it on what is done TO you....you have zero in my book. You can claim you have it til the cows come home...but unless others WITNESS it...you ain't got any. JMHO committed Now we are getting somewhere. So, every WS in this forum has "ZERO" integrity? When do YOU think they can get it back? I'm sure most of us will disagree.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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I hate to say this...but if it is SOOO EASY for you, a married man, to jump on another woman's bones for (you say) ONE NIGHT, then it has nothing to do with your wife's affair.
You just wanted your chance (to first justify it to yourself) to jump on some NEW strange bones!
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"had a knee-jerk reaction to my wife's adultery by having a ONS." Oh man, I have heard everything now. Having sex with someone outside the marriage is NOT a knee-jerk reaction! It is a CHOICE! (Or it is .... something else, not some kind of automatic, assumed, response to being cheated on by a spouse!) It was my decision to do it...I did it...it's no ones else's fault...I'm 100% in control of my actions...it was, in fact, my choice...you're not saying anything that I haven't stated a million times. You're just echoing me. What's your point?
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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I hate to say this...but if it is SOOO EASY for you, a married man, to jump on another woman's bones for (you say) ONE NIGHT, then it has nothing to do with your wife's affair.
You just wanted your chance (to first justify it to yourself) to jump on some NEW strange bones! I was only married legally....emationally I was divorced...WW took care of that all by herself.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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You can claim you have it til the cows come home...but unless others WITNESS it...you ain't got any. Quoting myself here... I might have to rethink this...because I am linking integrity with what is right or wrong. It doesn't have anything to do with right or wrong. Afterall, I am sure that Hitler thought he had integrity as long as he was sure to only gas the Jews...and no one else. This isn't in defense of what he did. It was HEINOUS beyond measure. We see it as something gawd awful...wrong of the highest caliber. He saw it having integrity as long as he adhered to the same set of values. It was the values that were wrong....not his adherence to them. So....my bad. committed
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Hasn't anyone here ever had sex out of wedlock?
If so, I would expect that you have ZERO integrity, considering that sex out of wedlock is a sin and morally wrong...therfore forfeiting your right to preach to me about my sins.
Anyone?
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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You can claim you have it til the cows come home...but unless others WITNESS it...you ain't got any. Quoting myself here... I might have to rethink this...because I am linking integrity with what is right or wrong. It doesn't have anything to do with right or wrong. Afterall, I am sure that Hitler thought he had integrity as long as he was sure to only gas the Jews...and no one else. This isn't in defense of what he did. It was HEINOUS beyond measure. We see it as something gawd awful...wrong of the highest caliber. He saw it having integrity as long as he adhered to the same set of values. It was the values that were wrong....not his adherence to them. So....my bad. committed So, if all of us WS's are on par with what Hitler did...when do you decide when us WS's and Hitler (if he were alive) can get our integrity back? What exactly do we have to do? I keep having to ask this question, but no one seems to want to answer it.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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What did you do? Pick up a woman in a bar or something?
You know, if you get divorced, you can try all the NEW meat out there!!!
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