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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
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Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496 |
LL,
I just read your comments on another thread about your 2 types of meltdowns and I thought I'd say something. The second kind (the raging rant) needs to desist. I know the anger you feel and understand WHY you do it, but it will hurt your R and it will hurt your chances that your WH will ever answer all of your questions.
You have every right to yell and scream, but there comes a time when your right to verbally torment him will backfire on you. He won't ever feel safe to tell you what you need to know because he KNOWS how you will respond. KWIM?
I hope this doesn't come across as some kind of hand slap, it's not... I want you to get what you need...you deserve that. But you've got to make it safe for these facts to come out. (If you haven't done this for a long time, then ignore my comment)
Now as far as your WH going ballistic when you ask questions, that's cr@p. He has no right and he's trying all that he can to protect himself. If his yelling normally quiets you well then he's doing what he has always done. It's pathetic that he will not man up and do what he should. And he doen't get to decide what you need. Don't settle for that.
My one question is HOW do you approach him when you want to talk about the A? What is your demeanor? What is your tone?
BW(me) DDay EA 4/05 DDay PA 6/05 In recovery
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
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Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892 |
LynnLee,
Go out and buy the DVD "Shattered" starring Pierce Brosnan. Give it to your husband and ask him to watch it while you are not there.
If he truly wants to make things work, you should come home to a puddle of tears. If he shows his anger once more, he is either not the man you want to be with or he is a moral coward.Either way your question should be answered.
Best of luck.
Divorced: "Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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