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He'll lie. What way do I ever have to find out? Unless I can find someone on MB from Calgary that wants to go on a hunt for me, right now... Well, I tell you what...if I was in Calgary, I'd hunt 'em down in a heartbeat!! And I'm GOOD at hunting!!! Scary good!! At least I'll know (or should know) if he even comes home tonight. I'll just always doubt who he was with, especially since he turned his cell off and didn't bother to call all night. That just makes it shady, IMO. Yeah, I hear that. This just sucks rocks. You deserve WAAAAY better. Charlotte
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Money to drink and eat but no money for the cell phone call especially when out of country. See, I just don't buy the cell phone thing. His boss understands and they have a budget for this stuff.
ME BH 40 - FWW 39
Sons - 9 and 7
DDAY - March 18,2006
Married 10 years
Recovering
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Do you want this to be the catalyst for him to come clean on everything? My bet is he is/has been hiding alot from you. I'd be impressed if that happened. He's a master liar. He's been covering his own butt for years with lies. And I bet the same thing. I know in my gut that there's more I don't know. And I think if there was a clear cut way for me to find these things out, I would try. The problem is, I don't see a clear cut way to find them out. I was a day late and a dollar too short-- he was in so many cities with so many people... The only real suspicion I have is with a manager he worked with when he was in Detroit, about 3 years ago now. That is one of the ones he admits an EA with-- and says that she invited him into her apartment, and was coming on to him, but he said no. But he 'doesn't remember' her name. Right. Sure. And she also very conviently doesn't work there anymore, and he has no clue what happened to her. Uh huh.  Hey, you got a way for me to figure this all out-- have at it! I'm not that familiar with the corporate world. For tonight-- I think he knows DARNED WELL what he's doing. He's well aware of it. I want to know the truth about where he was and who he was with tonight. The past, that'd be great too, but I think that is wishful thinking. E.
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Well, I tell you what...if I was in Calgary, I'd hunt 'em down in a heartbeat!! And I'm GOOD at hunting!!! Scary good!! Hey, thanks! Yeah, I hear that. This just sucks rocks. You deserve WAAAAY better. Its my own darn guilt that eats away at me... keeps me here... he doesn't have much time left before he gets the plan B tho. He's been running hot and cold with me forever now... 5 hours, 6 minutes... E
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My dog is in the other room... in MY bed, fast asleep. I can hear her having "puppy dreams" in there, quietly "woofing" in her sleep, and her paws moving on the bed... deep sighs... At least someone is sleeping around here! We're up to 5 hours and 20 minutes now. I'm about ready to give up and turn in. I have to get up in 5 hours... I'm going to be exhausted and miserable tomorrow  Thanks for keeping me company Charlotte and TJD. I'll stick around for another 10 or so, say a final goodnight, then turn in I'll for sure let you know what transpires from all of this tomorrow... E.
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Anytime!!! If he's ever in this area and you need it done...consider it done! Yeah, Plan B is a good idea. All of this crap is really bad for YOUR health and well-being. Charlotte
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You're welcome!!
I'll turn in after you do.
Charlotte
(Awwwwww...and dogs are so cute with their doggy dreams!!)
Last edited by Dancing_Machine; 09/12/08 12:09 AM. Reason: Added doggy dreams
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His friends know. The grapevine at work knows. He knows, he kinda admitted to 2 EA's. Maybe it doesn't matter.
After going through what you've been going through, I would simply say we need to talk when you get home. It is time to make some decisions.
ME BH 40 - FWW 39
Sons - 9 and 7
DDAY - March 18,2006
Married 10 years
Recovering
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Take a half day off, maybe call in?
ME BH 40 - FWW 39
Sons - 9 and 7
DDAY - March 18,2006
Married 10 years
Recovering
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Tomorrow is a really bad day for me to take off. I set all sort of stuff up at the lab that needs tended to tomorrow, and no one else can really do it for me. All of the reagents and stuff would go to waste, and my boss would probably be really upset. Not worth it. I've thought about asking the grapevine... I don't want it to get back to him that I'm digging tho. And I don't know if they'd lie for him or just pretend they don't know to not get involved... I've tossed around that idea for a long time tho. OK guys, thanks a TON... honestly...  I owe you two! You kept me occupied and my mind somewhat off of things, so that now I feel that I can at least SLEEP... I'm not as worked up as I was before. I'll fill you in for sure tomorrow. Goodnight, Charlotte and TJD...  I haven't decided yet what I'm gonna do about this recent disappearing act. I guess I've got time since he hasn't reappeared. We're now at 5.5 hours. Ridicuously long for dinner... I suppose I'll sleep on it  Night night, sweet dreams  E.
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G'nite, eeyoree!!! Sweet dreams!! And you're welcome! Glad to be of help!  Get some rest!! Charlotte
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eeyore, what are your hills to die on? Not to be negative, but this sounds pretty big on the disrespect scale.
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E, am so sorry this is happening to you tonight. I hope you are able to get some sleep and that you and your H can talk about this without turning it into LBs when he gets home. I hope you can figure out the transparency issues and boundries. Jobs with travel are really, really hard on marriages and I think it would take a huge amount of negotiation to come up with acceptable terms.
My WH just left the military and has promised to never take a job with travel again. His being away one night - even though I knew where he was, what he was doing and spoke to him on the phone - was tough. Warm wishes and prayers to you.
BW - 70 WH - 65 M - 35 years D-day - 17 Apr 08 H broke contact 11/1/09 Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Guys... its 4:07 am here. Its 2:07 am there. He's STILL not back in his room. His cell is still off.
My heart is pounding, I'm shaking and crying.
I'm a total disaster right now. I fell asleep for a bit, but then woke up at 3:30 realized he hadn't called yet... and has now been idle for 8 hours and 23 minutes.
I fear this can only mean one thing... he's not going home tonight. And I can't think of that many reasons to stay elsewhere in a strange city where you supposively know no one.
NOW WHAT?
I don't even KNOW where to go from here.
I know he's going to be hostlie when I confront him.
I just never thought this would happen, never in a million years.
Is anyone still out there? Please?
E.
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Is anyone still out there? Please? Hey Hun, I've never read your thread so give me a few minutes to catch up, just wanted to let you know I am here. You sound a bit panicked, can you take a tick to just breathe???  Lil
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Is anyone still out there? Please? Hey Hun, I've never read your thread so give me a few minutes to catch up, just wanted to let you know I am here. You sound a bit panicked, can you take a tick to just breathe???  Lil Thanks. I'm trying... I am panicked. I just feel hopeless... like there's nothing I can do... I don't even know what to do... I wish I could get to Calgary. If this was driving distance, I'd already be there... E.
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He JUST called... hold on...
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O, have skimmed your thread so have a basic idea of whats happening. So how sure are you that he is ok? That he hasnt had an accident? How about the chance of his phone going flat and he may not have noticed? I ask that one because my phone was flat for most of the day and I kept wondering why no one was texting me  I kind of get the idea from your thread that you believe he may be off with a OW or something. Do you have a plan sorted for this eventuality? Is your H fully aware of what YOU need to feel safe which included timely and regular contact, via cell, phone etc? What does you gut feeling tell you? Ignore the messages your brain is sending for the moment. Are you breathing and being still?????????
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Ok, just saw he has called, I am going to have to log off, hope he was able to make you feel safe in him again. Remeber, if it happens again to breathe, very important  Do think on the other points I made tho, if there is a next time it would be good to have a plan set out in advance. Be proactive not reactive. 
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Praying for you.
I keep my phone on vibrate if I am in a meeting. If my W needs to talk right away she will call back imediately or send a text.
I would have so much respect for a person I was having a buisness dinner with if they asked to step aside for a minuite and say goodnight to there spouse and kids. I wish I had done it on some of my trips.
Brokenhusband Married 12 years Me 35 DW 33 DD 12 DD 10 DS 8
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