thanks sent

HI simon-
I was also married for 31 years when i found out about my FWH's cheating when he confessed. He had many affairs during many years. i can KICK myself that i didnt do a better job of SPYING ON HIM to find out the truth earlier.
#1- GET HER CELL PHONE RECORD!!!! i couldnt get my H's phone record because it was a work phone. YOu can go on line and get the records too.

Since you moved far away - you probably dont need to hire a private investigator or get a tracking device. but i would NOT believe one word she says.

I can only talk from experience. i believed every word my H said , and they all turned out to be LIES.

It will save your feelings if you find out sooner, and know one way or the other, rather than finding out later and realizing how stupid you were to believe her.

SF

"Having it out with her" won't help at all, please don't do that.
If she's in an A, it will just make her hide it that much better and you'll never find out who/what you're fighting. If she isn't having an A then you've accused her falsely and committed a whopper of a Love Buster (LB).

Stop.
Breathe.
Realize that this is going to take some time.
Weeks if nothing is happening and months if something is.
My bet is that something is.

She can't be seeing him now as it's too far?
Learn about emotional affairs. They are just as bad in their own way as physical affairs. Physical affairs leave the betrayed spouse (BS) with worse thought images and feelings of being violated, emotional affairs are deeper and harder for the wayward spouse (WS) to break.

Here are some links that will help you understand that affairs don't have to involve intercourse to be true affairs and real threats to your marriage.
What is an Affair?
Infidelity on the Internet #2
Infidelity on the Internet #3
Infidelity on the Internet #4

Please don't confront your wife right now. Please take time to read more information on this website and to figure out exactly what is going on. Then develop a plan.