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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
WNH,
I saw you back. My heart goes out to you.
Because of your WW's past, there isn't a "just lunch" for her anymore. That would be like saying "There's just one drink" for an alcoholic, see?
Risky behavior for her now which isn't for others who don't have her history.
Embracing our weaknesses and changing our actions rebuilds our relationships...continuing risky behaviors continues the tear down.
That's the difference.
Not about control...about protection.
Giving YOU a frame of reference so you can stand for your marriage. Not get sucked into the justifications. There isn't one.
She chose to put "just a lunch" ahead of your marriage. That's risky behavior. Doesn't mean she doesn't want the marriage...means she put someone else ahead of it.
You nailed that she's lying about a guy again...address that. She's choosing to deceive...to discount, mitigate...what cannot be discounted or mitigated.
Even real lunch is a danger because she PUT it ahead of your marriage.
Ask her this..."Do you think you will choose to honor The Marriage, even when you don't feel like honoring me?" That would have been a no to the lunch, see?
LA
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