I must caution - don't count this chicken before it's hatched.

You're talking about three months of waiting before the deed is done - plenty of time for her to get really desperate and try something else to foil your plans.

Don't worry MinM, I'm no fool. I'm just rejoicing in the small victories at this point (but thanks for busting my bubble, LOL).

As odd as this may sound, I'm now resuming the "darkness" of Plan B. I have her signature on a court-filed legal document agreeing to everything I requested (with a few compromises to "grease the wheel") so I now plan to avoid contact as much as possible to prevent the possibility of saying something to fuel her desperation.

I'm sure there will be more attempts by WW to R in the next three months. I've felt compelled to answer some of her calls and explain that my desire to R is gone, also encouraging her to sign the court doc. Now that I have that, it's back to the old days of NC.

AW3, may this be the first day of a wonderful new uncomplicated life! I know it's a different road than the one you started on, but it's leading somewhere fantastic! Good luck to you!

You can count on it and when that doesn't work, she may go full steam ahead trying to fight you legally. Three months IS a long time for her to concoct, scheme and manipulate. About her signature, in this business we call the law, agreements are rescinded all the time. She can claim duress, "I wasn't in my right mind", etc.

Not trying to bring you down, just be diligent in your Plan B, continue to "log" anymore events, and for heaven's sake, please don't bring anyone else around the kids too soon (but you know that, right?)

It's truly in God's hands...

For that matter, even once D is final, WW can always drag me back to court on a whim. I get it, believe me! Due to my poor decisions 15+ years ago, I am saddled with this woman and her ambivelence at least until the oldest two kids are adults...and even beyond.

At least I have the two biggest blessings to result from my M here with me. Like I've been telling SWW, "ALL things work for good..."

And...no Princess, I am not yet "dating" anyone and I will ALWAYS have my children's best interest in mind when I do...but thanks for the warning.

Ab,
I've continued to read your updates though I haven't posted. You received the best advice and you ran with it. I know you wanted to save your M, but not all M can be saved. I'm so glad you found the awesome strength that you have inside. Your kids will benefit from it for the rest of their lives.

Keep an eye out for the next 3 months for underhanded maneuvers. She's probably not done.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Michele, I'm SURE she's not! But I am!

...and, thanks!

Just got email from attorney. Final divorce hearing on November 17th. I must admit, it all seems a bit surreal.

15 years of marriage, a 20 year relationship...all over in 90 days legally and less than 6 months in reality (since D-day)...and all because of WW's poor choices.

Those of us that are the victims have to wonder how we got to this point; but, "ALL things work for good..."

God Bless!

What is up with the adoption?

WOW, can't believe I forgot to update that issue!

Just made an appointment with the State to sign "Placement Agreements" next Wednesday. Afer that, we will have a Finalization Hearing later this months or possibly the first week in October, depending on the court docket(sp?).

Looks like the adoption will be finalized BEFORE I go to court for the divorce. Perfect Timing..."ALL things work for good..."

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers concerning my youngest daughter. I'm glad what we've known here for a while will be legal and official soon!

Congratulations!

ab3,

you are THE MAN! I can only marvel at your strength and conviction.

You are an awesome guy. And, someday, you will see how this unfolded for the good of all who fought the good fight.

I'm aleady seeing it Cinderella.

My kids are the happiest they've been in a long time.

God has opened doors for me to have a PAID position as music minister at a totally new church where we are all adored.

The adoption process is going as smoothly as it EVER has (it's been a 2 year wait!), and, just yesterday, I had a job offer as a sales rep which I have been praying for since this ordeal began.

Unfortunately, the old recruiting gig has suffered through a combination of the economy and my focus momentarily being elsewhere.

"ALL things work for good..."

I thought of you this morning, listening to the radio. They said that one in four adoptions in America is now by a male (no females involved). Of course a lot of that is adopting a second wife's kids, but they said the percentage of single men adopting kids is rising incredibly fast.

Pretty soon, you won't be the only dad in the playground!

You mean I'm not supposed to enjoy being the only man at the playground? LOTS of single moms there, and they all think a man alone with a two year old is just adorable!

JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING (mostly )!!!

Aw3, you better believe you are gonna be one hot commodity! I'm confident that you have the moral fiber to wait until you are D, but I don't doubt for a second that you will have to be alone a second longer than you choose to.

Yes, nothing says "chick magnet" more than a baby or a puppy!

aw3,

I know you're in no rush, but I encourage you to take a breather to truly digest what has just happened to you and not date anyone for a good while. I recommend taking a break for at least a year after your D. You still need to process it.

It's been over 2 years for me and I'm still processing. I am just now, however, feeling like I can approach a new budding relationship with less baggage than I had a year ago.

Just think about it. I know you're not rushing off, but the temptation will come sooner rather than later. Kids this small really need a parent to focus on them first. I know you already know this. Just bears repeating.

Pom, RELAX...it was just a joke!

You know I will always consider my kid's best interests FIRST.

However, with that said, I will not walk around with blinders on either. I'm not in any rush, but I'm not in mourning either.

I TRULY feel as though it's all "processed" already. No depression, no sadness, no regrets. When I was released from this burden, I was TOTALLY released.

It's just a matter of dealing with WW in regards to the kids now.

Thanks for your concern though!

Just an update for you guys...

I sign "Placement Agreements" next Tuesday for the adoption. Everything seems to be a done deal...but I'm still reserved until it's really over and official.

Looks like I am going to be offered a new sales job very soon. Praying that it happens, my current job is in the tank (transportation...ugh!). Second interviews Thursday.

Our new church finally voted me in as the "Worship Leader" this past Sunday. The vote was UNANIMOUS...who knew everyone could agree on anything in a Baptist church?

Things are going GREAT! Haven't spoken with WW in weeks...plan to keep it that way!

She does still insists that her NEW OM be present at some point during her visits with the kids... so far, EVERY time for the past 4 weeks! It has always been in a public place or around other members of her family. I don't like it, it's embarrasing to the kids, but what can I do? She viewed it as "jealousy" the one time I mentioned it to her weeks ago. She's only causing them to resent her more. She will lose any relationship with them totally if she continues and I certainly cannot defend her to them. Oh well, life can't be all great...

God Bless! Thanks for your concern!