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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 274
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 274 |
The OW just apologized to me today in an email. Honestly, I don't feel better. I don't think that I will ever believe her, no matter what she has gone through to get to the point of apologies.
With my H, there was a relationship that we both wanted to repair...an apology was part of that recovery and rebuilding.
With OW, there is absolutely NO RELATIONSHIP that we want to rebuild with her. The apology is meaningless to me. I have to make my own sense of peace with OW and she isn't a part of that process.
I truly believe that the OW is not a specific in our marital challenges. If it hadn't been this one, it would probably have been another. There was nothing special about this OW. Therefore, her remorse is inconsequential to our recovery. The only thing that matters is how WE - my H and I - create a M where this will never have a chance of happening again.
My vote...leave her alone.
MS
BW (me)
FWH (him - he's earning the F)
3 boys (4, 5, and 7)
M 1997
LT EA/PA 2004-2007
D-Day #1 Feb 2006
Joined MB.
D-Day #2 Feb 2008
D-Day #3 Aug 2008
Began REAL recovery Sept 2008.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037 |
There was a BW that posted here that gave OW's-BH her X-WH's NEW Harley when the divorce was final. It was a banner day! 
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 471
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 471 |
Apologizing and forgiveness are two different things.
I'm in the camp that you always apologize.
The best time to apologize is when you know you have done something wrong. You show empathy and remorse.
Just because you apologize doesn't mean that the other person will forgive you. That they will feel all warm inside. It is their right to forgive or not to forgive. But that is not why one apologizes.
ME BH 40 - FWW 39
Sons - 9 and 7
DDAY - March 18,2006
Married 10 years
Recovering
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698 |
I have had 3 'notes' from OW. One to tell me she deserved the nasty names I called her, one to tell me how little she thinks of my H and one to give me advice on my marriage (!!!)
Don't write is my advice. I don't like her making nice-nice, she is not a nice person, it's all just pretend. ANSD I don't want there to be any chance ever that my H might think something positive about her.
You might be nice but I bet the BW doesnt think so.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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