Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 274
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 274 |
The OW just apologized to me today in an email. Honestly, I don't feel better. I don't think that I will ever believe her, no matter what she has gone through to get to the point of apologies.
With my H, there was a relationship that we both wanted to repair...an apology was part of that recovery and rebuilding.
With OW, there is absolutely NO RELATIONSHIP that we want to rebuild with her. The apology is meaningless to me. I have to make my own sense of peace with OW and she isn't a part of that process.
I truly believe that the OW is not a specific in our marital challenges. If it hadn't been this one, it would probably have been another. There was nothing special about this OW. Therefore, her remorse is inconsequential to our recovery. The only thing that matters is how WE - my H and I - create a M where this will never have a chance of happening again.
My vote...leave her alone.
MS
BW (me)
FWH (him - he's earning the F)
3 boys (4, 5, and 7)
M 1997
LT EA/PA 2004-2007
D-Day #1 Feb 2006
Joined MB.
D-Day #2 Feb 2008
D-Day #3 Aug 2008
Began REAL recovery Sept 2008.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037 |
There was a BW that posted here that gave OW's-BH her X-WH's NEW Harley when the divorce was final. It was a banner day! 
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 471
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 471 |
Apologizing and forgiveness are two different things.
I'm in the camp that you always apologize.
The best time to apologize is when you know you have done something wrong. You show empathy and remorse.
Just because you apologize doesn't mean that the other person will forgive you. That they will feel all warm inside. It is their right to forgive or not to forgive. But that is not why one apologizes.
ME BH 40 - FWW 39
Sons - 9 and 7
DDAY - March 18,2006
Married 10 years
Recovering
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698 |
I have had 3 'notes' from OW. One to tell me she deserved the nasty names I called her, one to tell me how little she thinks of my H and one to give me advice on my marriage (!!!)
Don't write is my advice. I don't like her making nice-nice, she is not a nice person, it's all just pretend. ANSD I don't want there to be any chance ever that my H might think something positive about her.
You might be nice but I bet the BW doesnt think so.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
617
guests, and
87
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
