SD,

Thanks. It's the continued lying that amazes me. Even after the destruction of the M, the legal stuff, etc. he still continues to lie.

And he WILL continue to.

Not only to you, DD, & the courts... but to himself.

Chai,

I'm so sorry for what happened. I know the hurt of hearing the continued lies the waywards spew about us


Exactly - and the biggest one of these is the lies to himself. Nothing changes unless they stop lying to themselves. Some never do.

No offense to the wonderful guys we have here on MB, but as I told Ladybug last night, "Boys are Stinky". For our purposes here, I'll change that to "Waywards are Stinky".

Chai

Chai....I know you want your marriage recovered but why not just end it so you won't have to revisit the situation and pay another attorney bill in the future? Well, hmmmm, ongoing spousal support and insurance longer than COBRA....

But, you could move on w/ your healing and personal recovery if you went w/ the D instead of the MSA.

So sorry CL.

I know...it's painful...

((((((((((((CL)))))))))))))

CL,

I'm afraid I have no advice for you but wanted to know I am here to offer support...



Mark

I realize that what I said may not have sounded supportive but, Chai, I do wonder if it would better to go all the way than to have to go back and revisit again - unless there are financial benefits to the MSA.

Thanks for the support guys. I've been doing a LOT of driving this week, so many hours in the car has given me a lot of time to think about this. Sorry to say that I don't have any better answer than I did before. Makes me crazy!!!! I so want an answer to all of this.

At least I had a lot of time to listen to my Sirius Satellite Radio (I'm a news junkie and can listen all day).

I know Cinder, sometimes I think that I should just file for D and get it over with. I had fully intended to do that until I sat down in the big conference room at the big table with my big atty at the head. It seemed so formal and final. I guess at that point I realized that if I did, I would feel responsible for the destruction of a family, destruction of a future, destruction of a retirement fund, etc. Look at how WH continues to lie. That would have given the little weasel all the ammo that he needed - CHAI did it - she's the one who wanted the the D, she's the one who filed, blah, blah, blah. I'm just not giving him the out he wants.

There are no more financial benefits to the MSA than the D I guess. It's just a statement on my part that - WH, you want it, you file for it.

Another little bit of news that hit me yesterday. My atty mentioned that WH had a local address - an apartment. I then spoke to my DD and she said that he gave gave a local address when he paid some court bill for her. So it looks like he is back in the state now. What's up with that I wondered? I couldn't help but ask DD if OP moved here with him, although I didn't believe that she would leave her kids and grandkids to do that. DD made a comment that WH told her OP has another BF now. Could she have cheated on him? Oh my, the same OP who "was in love with him?" Could it be???? Did she drop him after the heart attack?

So, many things ran through my mind regarding this. Should I extend the olive branch? Should I stay dark? Should I do anything at all? Well, then I started thinking again and that's always dangerous for me because I go one way then the other and back again. I hate when I start to think.

In the end I decided that I wasn't really sure what I wanted anymore, and unless I became more sure of it one way or the other, I was doing nothing. So again, undecided and no answer. UGH! Can't somebody just give me a d@mn answer to this???

I've been trying to catch up on everyone's threads and was reading a few that talked about reflections on how the M wasn't that great anyway, that maybe things really are better without the WS, etc. Gave me something else to think about - something else that I can come up with no answer to. Well that's just great huh?

So the last answer is that there is NO answer. Time. Time will work it all out. I just wish I had more of that time. I feel like I'm going headlong into a buzz saw.

Your DD isn't a reliable source of information about this subject, as I recall, but this is maybe worth following up on before deciding what you want to do.

I'm afraid that's the best advice I can give you. Not much help.

h is not bothering to contact you...does he know how to contact you should the need arise? If he does, then stay dark.To get further sucked into the drama is not in your best interest.

SD,

Absolutely right - DD is not a reliable source. I tend to let the trigger take hold to quickly, then the mind starts to play games.

Cinder, you are right too. Yes, he knows my number, address, business location, atty name, on and on. I guess it's me needing to do something. I guess we all fight that on a daily basis, don't we? The need to do something, but yet there is really nothing we can do.

It sucks to be a BS.

Hi CL,




Yes...Yes...and...Yes!

I know...it's not much of a consolation realizing that...IT IS WHAT IT IS...other than....it helps NOT create any EXPECTATIONS...hopefully lessing the bumps on the road later on...

I don't want to make this worse than it already is for you, CL...

How about I just give you a whole BUNCH OF HUGS!

Hi Chai,

I hear your pain. I know the struggles that continue to occupy your mind. For some reason I have somewhat found a place where I don't think about WH as much anymore. Instead I am contemplating D.

I'm wearing down. I want to be done with this. I just wish I knew if it's what G-d wanted and that's my struggle.

I miss you girl, seems like we haven't talked forever. I hope we get that opportunity soon.

How is business going?

How is your talking to G-d going?

I love you girl, you are one resilent person who continues to awe me in your strength.

Hey Queenie,

Thanks for stopping by.

I'm having a good day. I just love these "Plan FU the WH" days. La la la la la la.... They just feel so good. You really feel like you are "moving on" (sorry Pep) and that things are going to be just fine, fine, fine.

BUT....

Beware.

There is a "The A comes flooding back" day lurking just around the corner to grab your sorry [censored] just when you think you are at the top of your game.

So, I've learned to enjoy them when they come, and just hope they come more often.

Let me needle you with today's adventure. Left work early and to an injection in my lower spine to, hopefully, reduce the pain and spinal issues. Got home and wasn't supposed to drive any today after the injection - had to get a friend to take me.

Son was cooking our pot roast for dinner. But, we had no onions and this could be made right only w/ a trip to the store. On the way to the grocery, to which I had to drive, son and stopped at my nearest LYS for a little SEX. (Chai should get it.)

I picked up some Crystal Palace Deco-Ribbon in a taupe stripe to make a zig-zag scarf for our exchange student. It should be funky enough for a German teenager to enjoy.

I love needles!!!



I love LYS SEX!!!






(Where's that BIG O emoticon when you need it?)

YES!!!! Yarn SEX from the LYS is so much more scintillating than SEX from Michael's or JoAnn.

It's a little skinny scarf - decorative, not functional.

Size 15 needles.....*knit 12 for 8 rows, bind of 6, knit to end of row, increase 6*.

It looks like big rickrack. I'm making it long and skinny. It won't keep her warm but it will be an accessory. And it's ok if she doesn't wear it. I needed to knit her one.

And this was the one kind of SEX run on which you may safely take your children. They can witness the WHOLE THING!! And choose what they want or don't want. :RollieEyes:

YES!YES!YEESSSS!!!!!

http://www.louet.com/patterns/list.php?yarnid=8&sourceid=5

Look at the Flower Pot Purse. (I can never get those links to work)