|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
He says he wouldn't, but then neither would I. When I found out about his affair, I kicked him out. HE fought for the marriage. I could have never done Plan A. When my last H left me for an OW 1999, I didn't want to save the marriage and cooperated with his divorce. Some people are just not cut out for affair recovery and wisely move on. [wise for THEM, that is - there is nothing wrong with people who give Plan A a couple of weeks]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496 |
After DDay, my DH said that he would not have been able to handle a betrayal. He would leave if the shoe was on the other foot. Of course, I thought the same thing prior to his A, but I'm still here. I don't think anyone really knows until it happens to them. I know I never expected infidelity to be so completely devastating either.
You'd have to live it to know how you would react.
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277 |
Someone betray her.....
Her.....
Are you kidding!!
She would not take that from "Any" human being!
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602 |
After DDay, my DH said that he would not have been able to handle a betrayal. He would leave if the shoe was on the other foot. Of course, I thought the same thing prior to his A, but I'm still here. I don't think anyone really knows until it happens to them. I know I never expected infidelity to be so completely devastating either.
You'd have to live it to know how you would react. Michelle, this is exactly what I was thinking. IMO, people don't really know what they would do unless they actually live it. I held off for months before I confessed because I was convinced my DH was going to leave me if he knew about my A. I was wrong, very surprised and thankful he stuck around. To answer the original question: If we were in opposite shoes I believe I would have given him one chance. LC
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 72
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 72 |
With the situation we were in/getting out of, my FWH would have left.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,300
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,300 |
If my marriage was in the state it was when I had my affair, and my wife cheated, I would have joyfully divorced.
If my wife had a affiar now, I would try my best to save the marriage.
The difference is that we are both happy the old marriage died, this one is so much better. It is a bit tarnished, but I cherish it so much more for it. Especially as I am now watching so many of my friend's marriages fail . . . and I see that deep sadness in the eyes of their children, the sadness I had as a child of divorce.
Yes, I would stay now.
What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. ~ John Ruskin
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
This topic is the ONE THING that keeps me going. Because I believe my H WOULD have kept fighting for me. And would continue until all hope or effort was gone.
It's the ONE THING I believe with all my heart, so how can I give up on him when he wouldn't have given up on me.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
1,138
guests, and
56
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,032
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
