Thanks cat. Im so clueless on things like that, gardening, decorating, etc...

But Im getting better on the decorating... Maybe not what I putting up, but the putting up part... I got the scars to prove it. Almost losta thumb, but dammmit those curtain rods are up.

I appreciate the response.

Live plants are so soothing. Get more of them as you get confident enough not to kill them. It's taken a while for me, but my black thumb has gotten brown, maybe even a light tan.

It's good to hear you sounding so much calmer than before.

What parts of you do you plan to work on over the next few days? What's your self-improvement schedule?

HGTV is my best friend...

Me too!! I have learned so much from that channel. They helped me sell my last house by teaching me staging tactics. It works! I love HGTV!

Well, I have to settle my work situation Friday. I wont be back in the office, I was clear on that. I am guessing they will let me work as I am now, remotly and in the field, until the end of the month. So I suspect I will give my notice friday for Monday Nov 3 as my last day. I have a phone interview tomorrow and still hopeful for that job at my prior employer.

I am still working a great deal at not feeling self pity. yesterday and most of today were good, I stopped myself quickly, but tonight was a little more diffucult. Was just being reminded of the past when i was working in friends house. I hope in a few weeks those episodes get less and less. Its just very hard right now, but I am not letting myself get hysterical.

Someone wise one said " Really doctor, You must learn to control your emotions, they will be your undoing." Spock

I have a call with MB early in the week, still awaiting confimrmation but they have my CC info so I think its just a formality. I have the MB books as well as others I am reading through slowly. I tried to race through them but that did nothing.

Church is still a daily occurance with talks about my relationship with God with my pastor happening at random times.

I am trying to stay busy with friends, I have dinner planned with a couple that we were friendly with but lost touch, one of the guys was a groomsman. He has two adopted kids now and I have not even met the second one. Also the guy trying to get me the job.

Trying to make this place more comfortable, make it somewhere that feels like I belong here. Not like I am sleeping in a strangers house that has nothing in it. Parents are up this weekend, im sure they will help me furnish it.

I have one plant already for inside - a few days now and its still alive... Reminds me, I should water it... AA is next tuesday, I will attend that session and see what the program is all about. Mums tomorrow.

I guess those are the things I am working on, work situation has to be settled first and foremost. Its in a good spot for the moment where there is NC, but it needs to be permanent.

I guess I dont have a schedule other than I want to try and improve at little each day. Try not to take any steps back. I feel I was off the "path" for so long, and now I am back on it walking. In some areas I believe deeply now in what I am doing, in other areas I am still unsure but walking out of faith. Pastor says thats fine, trust in others, trust in yourself, and trust in god.

Thanks Neak,

I am much calmer now. I was makign myself a wacadoo.

I dont get that with my coat hanger antenna...Just kidding, I shelled out the 20 bucks and get a real HDTV antenna.. NOT HGTV HDTV...

Signal sucks, but better than static. Such a waste of my nice tv but oh well, i got more important things to do anyways, like pester you all with my babbling stories...

Wow Melodylane posted in my thread again, I though I had scared you off for good...

You know what the worst thing about the hurricane was? Going 2 weeks without HGTV. I'm really not kidding. I had no idea how addicted to it I was.

Wacadoo? Isn't that an Australian animal?

You have no idea how fortunate you are/have been to have Mel post to you. I'm smiling as I type that, but mean it 100%. When I was a newbie, I became a Mel groupie and followed her posts all over, reading and wishing she would post to me. I would have gladly suffered a 2x4, if I could only have gotten it from HER...

So I have learned...if you want to catch Mel's interest, aside from the vital 2x4's, you need to talk about cats, shotguns (or pistols), and Texas. Oh, and HGTV. Better yet, going to Texas to shoot cats with shotguns on HGTV while sipping Pepsi.

(For clarity, I mean using shotguns to shoot the cats, not shooting cats who are also armed with shotguns.)

I know I am, she just stopped for a while.. Maybe till I stopped being bananas. We shall see, I do value her opinion.

So, I was thinking I might Head down to Texas, find a nice american bobcat, ride it around town shooting off my shotgun. Ill stop at a best buy to watch some HGTV on a HDTV.

"(For clarity, I mean using shotguns to shoot the cats, not shooting cats who are also armed with shotguns.)"

Sure, pick on the easy ones who are not armed. Thats like picking on someone who is irrational, emotional, and desperate....

Any thought on my plan thus far? Good, bad, in between?

Thankee kindly, my cosmic twin! I will have you know I do not use shotguns on cats, I use my Texas pistola to escort those useless varmints off my premises. I love dis picher!

Silverwind, glad to see you do so much better. It sounds like you are making great progress and are looking for SOLUTIONS. Keep up the good work!

catperson, I sooo understand. Life did not feel normal without Clydie, Lauren, etal... We need to do lunch someday, girl!

Thanks ML, I appreciate it, expecially for youm and Neak.

I know you would not say it if you did not believe it.

Im open to any advice you have, I will continue to post my story as it unfolds. Ill try to post things I am thinking before I act on them so that 2x4 can hit me before I make matters worse.....

Just a FYI... 2x4 are good and all, but have you considered something a that carries a little more punch for people like me?

Maybe a phaser on stun and just keep increasing the setting...

Goodnight all.

Silverwind.

Pistols are for wussies.

And ya'll forgot to talk about Aqua Net.

It runs in Mel's veins.

SW - Ikea for decor. It's online. Plus it's eco friendly.

Do not shoot the bobcats. I WILL call Parks & Wildlife on yer butt.

You CAN, however, shoot all the javelinas you want...AND they are good eatin'!

Keep going to mass. You seem to be gleaning a lot from it. Become the you God wants you to be.

I was riding the bobcat, not shooting it!!!

I try to go to mass one or two morning durning the week as well as the weekend. If nothing else, It calms me. Unlike the past 31 years, I try to listen now instead of just sit there and lose myself in my own mind.


Ikea - ummmm.. I know my mother wants to go there this weekend, I just hate super stores like that. I prefer the mom and pops.

Quick AM update...

Had phone interview, I though it went really well. Not sure about the company, they did not talk much about the position as that will come in face to face. It seems small, I think they said 8 people in the office. I do like that, help build something from that small. Its a different challenge. We did not talk $$ but if its the right opportunity... we shall see.

Went to mass today, met a neighbor who seems plesant. Old guy, definitly not from US as he still has heavy accent, but said 18 years in the neighborhood and he never locked his truck and still does not. That makes me feel good. It is a quiet neighborhood, I will say what.

Meeting with CEO tomorrow at 11, Ill give notice for whatever works for him. 2 weeks from monday, (monday because if you quit on a monday you get benefits the rest of that last week, or the first monday in november, I will help them as much as possible as long as it does not require any chance at contact.)

Oh and ive had a sore throat for 3 days now, getting worse. Its either the start of me being sick as hell, or all the sanding I was doing over friends house was lead paint and asbestos and since I did not have a mask, its my lungs failing. If I stop posting I guess you can assume lead paint / asbestos.


Silver

almost forgot, got MB confirmation for next week. Have reading to do, surveys to fill out for Steve....

Go with your mother. Not because of the store, but because you are beginning a part of your life where you will realize what wonderful people your parents are.

I'm fixin' ta hit 41 (prolly upside the head), and if you'd told me in my 20s that my parents were wonderful and fun, I'da looked at you crosseyed.

Treasure that they think you are kewl enough to hang with them.


I take it OW didn't quit like we'd hoped?

Blech.

Hate looking for work...but it's worth it for you.


Neti pot for the drainage on your throat. I know it's gross to do, but suck it up and be a man.

Ramp up your complete C vitamin and add Zinc, magnesium and calcium. You could try Zicam...I've had great luck with it.

And DRINK LOTS OF LIQUIDS.

- Kimmy, aka, Dr. Mom

wot'da'hail?

is this PROGRESS I see

I save my sawed off shotgun for the bigger critters!

Yeah no luck, as fas as I know she still workes there. My boss would let me know as he does not want to lose me but knows I believe in what I am doing and is not trying to fight me.

Ill go to ikea with her,I cant be a chooser right now anyways... Ill take waht I can get!

I think I developed a winning stragety to really read and absord this first Harley Book, Surviving an affair.

I read a chapter, then take a walk on the beach... This accomplished two things. Keep my mind focused on something other than places it should not be, and it really gives you time to reflect on each chapter instead of just movning on.

I must say I am only a few chapters in but how could he have written that book ABOUT ME? About US? Its scary that this book was written about others, I dont think I could find one part of chapter 2, how afffairs happen, and say it was not like that. How is that possible?

Zora asked me to get involed with this site, read these books, etc.. so long ago. I guess the FOG was even thicker back then and blinding me to everything but what I wanted to see.

I came up with a plan B, not the plan B you all talk about though..... Lets call it Plan C I suppose.

I am going to find a way to capture a bird of prey and sling shot around the sun.........

Silver

Calcium I do anyways, helps prevent cramping on cycle..

Neti pot - ummmmm, yeah I googled this. It dont look like fun. How do I know Zora did not tell you to see how many stupid things you can get me to do? Im skeptical.

How does one change a thread subject?

Y'all are still forgetting the Coke. Mel loooooooves Coke! (Mel, my dear and much-admired cosmic twin, I keep forgetting to tell you of my dream of a few nights ago. I dreamed there was a kidnapping, and I got a detailed description of the evil getaway vehicle - a Coke delivery truck, lololol.)

Keep on going, SW, you're on the right track.

Oh, and to change the subject, go back to your first post on this thread, click edit, and you can change the title.