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Now that we are all in the same boat, maybe it's time for you, BC and I to do a road trip.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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I just found out POSOM's divorce was complete on July 1 of this year.
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A World Tour!!!!
Think of a name.....
I think Fall Out Boy is already taken.....
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
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SD: About this: Or maybe she will bring POSOM to the soccer game. Perhaps. She is free to do so. Just like one day soon you might so up with your new woman. However, even if he does show up, do the super Plan A thing as described by Chris. Remember, SHE wanted THIS. Now she has it. And if POSOM hasn't followed through with his, then its just one more miscalc on her part. Its been 22 months since Dday. It should be about two months from implosion of the A. Many say that the A needs a M to survive, and you have taken the oxygen from the room. I'm surprized the screeching post ala "Harry Potter" that is smoking in the email box hasn't come yet. I think you were right in your post to advise her against it. It will come in a much more sly manner. She will "keep" the kids longer, or not be "available" at the pick up time. She just might leave them at her house one day with POSOM, and drive over to your house at the appropriate time to personally verbally abuse you. You can just turn your head about 45 degrees like Lassie and stare at her without comprehending, at all. The cash from the refinance should be running out in a couple of months too. Burn, baby, Burn. Chin up, SD Guy. Your doing well. The "final" day, wasn't really that much. It's like passing the sign, "Thank you for visiting" when you leave some towns/states. It marks a border, but not your destination. LG
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The "final" day, wasn't really that much. It's like passing the sign, "Thank you for visiting" when you leave some towns/states. It marks a border, but not your destination. Thanks, LG. I like the way you put that. Tomorrow our name is on the schedule for the soccer team snack. Since it is her day, I am assuming she will bring it, but I sent the following email earlier today: I'll drop DS8's uniform off at your place this afternoon. It might still be damp. I'll be at the game Sunday in case I forget something, like his shoes.
I think I found the last pair of size 3 Nike velcro running shoes in North America (same model as the ones the bush ate, I think) and ordered them yesterday. Not sure when they will get here.
I'm guessing you're going to do snack tomorrow. If you want me to bring something or take care of the whole snack, let me know.No response yet.
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Well, I'm glad to see that you finally got to lash out somewhat. You did good. Elegant but with a nice little twist of the knife. You know she won't let you get away with it because she is the poster child for 1-upmanship. I'm totally surprised that you haven't gotten a response yet.
Well, looks like POSOM has no excuse not for not making this legal. The next few months will be interesting. Am I wrong or will this be his third M?
Have a great weekend. You certainly deserve it.
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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SD, Weekend sans kiddos (except for DD5's soccer game tomorrow and DS8's baseball game on Sunday). The Santa Ana winds are blowing, so it's like sunny and 80 degrees outside. No plans for the weekend. I'm thinking yoga tonight, maybe a massage. Some kids' clothes shopping. Get the car washed. A walk at the beach for sure. I saw a big pod of dolphins on my way to work this morning. Enjoy!
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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Response from the SCQ. It works quite well for me.
I'm not angry with you I feel sorry for you. It is not even worth discussing most of what you wrote. You have no business even thinking you know what I believe or talk with the kids about.
We may not have been divorced but we certainly were not married. Our marriage ended at 14 years. The past 2 year have been a legal separation while getting everything in order. We certainly were not married.
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SD, you pathetic sap...... I can't wait until that A has the big melt down....
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Express your feelings w/o DJing.
Say things like, "I'm really angry right now."
Just saying you're angry will help lesson your anger.
OTOH, have you heard about the F-U Plan?
Although it isn't recommended at MB, there have been some BS's that have found this plan to be exactly what was needed to bring their WS out of the fog. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
~ Marsh The link here is broken. Could anyone PLEASE tell me about the F-U plan. I'm really interested in this!
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Hi SD, Bumping up to see how you are doing.
Last edited by lunamare; 10/29/08 08:01 AM.
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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OTOH, have you heard about the F-U Plan?
~ Marsh The link here is broken. Could anyone PLEASE tell me about the F-U plan. I'm really interested in this! Oh, the floral undies plan? I buy those at Target.
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I thought it was the Fantastic Ukuleles Plan.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Thanks for asking, Luna.
I'm doing well. I had my first full weekend as a divorced man (that I knew about, anyway), and . . . it was pretty much like the rest of my weekends.
Yoga Friday night. Mid-morning soccer game for DD5 (after receiving the SCQ's response to my email). I ignored the SCQ and talked with DS8 and another mom. Some shopping afterwards (clothes for kids without making them try things on, plus I went to Michael's--the mother load of 'stash,' right, CL?). A movie Saturday night. Sunday morning baseball game for DS8 (the SCQ brought him), then I watched football with one neighbor and baseball later with another neighbor.
I almost felt like I didn't get enough time at home by myself on Sunday. I'm ready to get the kids back, though. They come home today, and I have them through the weekend. With Halloween and all that goes with it (our neighborhood does the "You've Been Booed" thing), I'm sure I'll be exhausted by Monday.
The SCQ's response to my email was predictably worthless. She didn't attack me, but her head is firmly in sand. It's none of your business what I believe or tell the kids. Huh? They're our kids. And We were not married anymore (so what I was doing was not Wrong). Beside the point, of course--I was talking about what the kids believed, not what either of us believe. It's within the last month that DD5 referred to the SCQ as 'my wife.'
I have been mentally composing a response that will set her straight, but I think I'll teach some algebra to the plant in my office instead. It will be vastly more productive.
And sorry for the delay, Away. Both Cinders and Chris are wrong. Plan FU (also known as Plan Free Ululation) is when you stop trying to protect the WS and just yell at them instead. Whenever the WS starts to say something, you let loose with a wail, preferably one of the high trilling yells common from stereotypical desert Arabs in movies, so that you can't hear them talking. Then repeat until the WS gets frustrated, goes away, and leaves you alone, which is what you really want, anyway.
No, wait, that's not really Plan FU. Plan FU is not MB-sanctioned or recommended, although Jennifer did think the name was funny. It's when you break your plan B long enough to unload on the WS. All the things you've been protecting them from: all the feelings you've held in, all the lousy wicked stuff they have done, all the stupid mistakes they have made and where they will almost certainly lead, all the things you've wanted to say but know you shouldn't--you let it out on the WS in one unleashed torrent. It has been done before, although I can't recall who originally coined the term.
It's not recommended. The high road is recognizing that the WS can't hear any of that stuff you want to tell them. They're simply not capable of understanding it, so why bother saying it? It will only make them more defensive and angry. You might get some relief from it, but it will likely be short-lived.
So that's my understanding of Plan Free Ululation. Others can chime in.
Last edited by sdguy038; 10/29/08 12:11 PM.
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Firmly locked in the.. I left you so we were divorced school of thought eh? Yeah.. it's funny.. or would be if she hadn't tried pushing that kind of delusionment onto the kids.. you know it had to take some explaining.. I know in the case of my kids it took DS by complete suprise when I mentioned a few weeks ago that his mommy and I were still married... he wanted to argue with me about it.. boy was that an interesting little convo.. I'm sure that's all part of the stuff I'm not supposed to talk about with DS that she sent in her email, but hey.. I've never lied to my boy and I'm not about to start now.. if she wants to destroy her credibility with him, that's tragic and sad.. but her business... same story with SCQ bro. Honestly.. it doesn't really sound like you're going to get her to agree to counseling. I'd place a quick call to the A to see what your options are, and then go anyhow if he/she says it'd be ok. I'd even go so far as to make it a pediatric psych to appease her request... 'well I -did- what you told me!' Keep hangin in there guy.. Oh.. and as for Plan FU.. Guy's right.. essentially it's Lovebusting to the n'th degree.. and you're probably also right about the impact it'll likely have... though if you're no longer interested in recovering the M... well.. I'm wondering if it wouldn't provide just that bit of closure.. the sound of the door clicking closed...
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Some shopping afterwards (clothes for kids without making them try things on, plus I went to Michael's--the mother load of 'stash,' right, CL?). Michael's and JoAnn will do. JoAnn has more from which to choose. But, if you want good stash, you have to go to a LYS! Quantity is one thing. QUALITY is another!Both Cinders and Chris are wrong. Plan FU (also known as Plan Free Ululation) is when you stop trying to protect the WS and just yell at them instead. Whenever the WS starts to say something, you let loose with a wail, preferably one of the high trilling yells common from stereotypical desert Arabs in movies, so that you can't hear them talking. Then repeat until the WS gets frustrated, goes away, and leaves you alone, which is what you really want, anyway. Chris and I were right. There are various forms of Plan FU. SD's sounds like more fun. You realize that, even if they didn't get frustrated and leave, they would leave anyway because that noise would cause migraines if they stayed near you.
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" Oh, the floral undies plan? "
No, don't you mean the FPUP, flora print undies plan?
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FPUP?
Free Peek Under Prostate? I think most WH's have their heads placed firmly in the right position for this!
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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