Darn that sticking love thing anyway !

Hi SC,

Hope you are doing well.

Hi TJD,

I have not been on my thread for so long and i don't even usually look over here.

Thanks for dropping by and thanks for all of the help you gave me.

It took a long time but i think i finally understand what you had been trying to tell me all along.

Since i have changed MY behavior, he is changing his and things are actually looking up for us for the first time in a long time.

We are most definitely still a work in progress, but at least i feel like WE are working now....

SS2, my goodness what a delight to see you stop by.

I read on another post that you were back because you are stuck.

What is "sticking"? Can we help?

Glad you stopped in !!!

I am feeling better already. I just needed to put some things down into words and press forward. Sometimes seeing things in black and white helps with a clearer perspective. I am very glad to read that things have improved for you. Are you still living in the same house?

So here's the deal, we finally have to leave our house, we will be moving the end of July.

A couple months ago i gave my h a letter (a very long letter) that talked about reasons why this recovery has been hard and a lot of things in general about our marriage.

Since that letter my h has actually started making changes in the way he acts in public and the way he interacts with me and a lot of other things.

So i have decided to move together and give this thing one more try. I did however make sure that where we are moving is someplace i can afford to live on my own if the need be. I don't know if that is a bad way to go into giving it one more try or not, but i have to make sure i CAN do it alone if i WANT to.

Sounds good to me. A lower mortgage and overhead is never a bad thing. I see no downside to smaller payments. I see a huge upside to being able to work things out. I'm happy for you. He may be finally "getting it". That is great!

Thanks SS2!!!

So here's the deal, this has nothing what so ever to do with my marriage but i just needed to SCREAM!!!!!!

My boss just makes it so hard to come to work. I used to at least like my job (i mean most of us do not like to work and i am including myself in that category ), but i did at least like my job.

Ever since there were some changes and i got this new boss i HATE coming to work every day and i am always on edge worrying if i am going to make a mistake, which makes me make mistakes. I have been here for 14 years and i have always done a good job and got great reviews from all of my bosses until this one and i can not do anything right according to her.

Ok vent over.

Mean bosses suck!

Yes they do !!!!

Well we got moved into the new house. It was not the funnest week in my life but at least we got it done !!!!!

Things have been so much better since i gave my hubby that letter and even more so last week (even with the stress of moving).

I think i have said it before but if not i am saying it now. We both have become convinced that our other house (the one we just left) was possessed or something. We had nothing but BAD LUCK the ENTIRE time we lived in that house. So i think it is a weight lifted from both of us for some weird reason because of course our house was not possessed .......

Moving is a great way to declutter!

I guess you are glad to leave the old ghosts behind...

We "decluttered" for sure, we got rid of our three kids !!!!

In all seriouness though when we first discussed with the kids that we were giving up the house and we would have to move and all of the above. We told them that they could continue to stay with us or look for something for themselves.

What they decided was for the 3 of them (plus a friend of my son's) to move in together to share the bills. While looking for a place we ended up finding a duplex where both sides happened to be for rent within a month of each other.

So my kids rented one side and me and my hubby rented the other side. So we are "empty nesters" to a point !!!

It kind of seemed like it was menat to be you know. They can learn to be independent with mom and dad close by and mom especially can get used to them not being there a little easier too.

I think this has helped my h alot. Our house has always been the "hang out" house, that way we knew what our kids were doing. Well that continued into the college years so we always had a houseful of 19-22 year olds. While it did not bother me at all (coming from a huge family it is hard to have a big enough crowd to bother me ), it did sometimes bother my h.

Obviously since the kids are now in the own place their friends are going there instead of our house so things are much more quiet around our house.

And yes we are both glad to leave the "possessed" house behind. I could not tell you the number of bad things that happened to us the 8 years we lived in it. And 90% of them were really bad.

Heck the day we did our walk through was the same day were supposed to move in, when we checked the toilets the one in the downstairs half bath was not flushing properly.

Since it was a new house (new build, never before lived in) we just left the walk through and went to the closing with people in my house looking at the reason why.

When we got back they had discovered that the "fall" on the plumbing was not low enough and they were going to have to Jack hammer my slab to fix it. Here i am with a week off work so that i can move in and unpack and i end up in a hotel for most of the week (paid for by the builder of course but still).

That should have told me then and there because we did just continue to have bad luck in that house even right up until we moved out, it is silly i know but all very strange to me as i am not one to think that way typically.

Oh well we have left it now and there is no turning back and i am so looking forward to a new beginning.

Long time no talk. I thought I would wish all of you a Happy Holiday season and safe journeys!!!!

Things are GREAT in my world finally, it took a long time for Mr. SC to realize some of the things that were his issues but once he did it has made such a difference in our marriage.

Pleased to hear a healthy update SC, haven't posted here in ages, but I just popped in to look at where I've been and saw your name.

What were his lightbulb moments and how did he address them?

Stay i had not posted in a very long time either but felt the need for some reason

I think I posted about it at the time but I wrote him a long letter about a year and a half ago. In that letter I put a lot of things that I might not have said to his face but that were easy to put on paper.

This letter hurt him very bad because it told of EVERY hurtful thing he had done to me throughout our marriage it however told it from my viewpoint. Like when you said �this� I may have meant to say �this� but to me it sounded like �that�.

Like I said at first he was upset with me and would hardly speak to me for a few days except to say things like �I can�t believe you stayed with me for so long if I have been so horrible�. But after a few days it must have sunk in to his head or something because he started changing.

He started realizing that the way he talked to other woman COULD be seen a flirting and those things he had said to me did affect our relationship. Since I am not in his head I do not know what else went on in that mind but he told me later that he kept my letter with him in his wallet for a long time and would take it out and read it once in a while to remind himself.

marking

Could not remember my old password. But this is me if any of my old buddies stop by now and then.