If you still want to work things out I would say yes. If I understand correctly, the whole point of exposure is so WS has pressure to end the A with OM coming from every direction...

So what should I write in the exposure letter to her family members?

I want to get emails between WW and OM to prove what has been going on and send them with the letter to her parents, siblings and uncle.

Do I write something along the lines of

I regret to inform you that WW continues her affair with her adultery partner. They have spent the last two weekends together and I have attached correspondence so that you are not left in any doubt.

In spite of the suffering WW and I have endured this year I still stand by and believe in the vows you witnessed us taking 3½ years ago, and I am fighting to keep our marriage in tact

Something like this?

In 4 months here you've never taken anyone's advice. Make me believe you will listen.

I am ready to learn and to implement.

I will not be treated in this way and brought so low. I had no idea how depraved and plain evil my once wonderful wife could or would become. I have come to accept that the W I once knew is dead.

I will expose - help me to do it.

Here is attached proof of continued unfaithfulness by WW these last two weeks.

I would be extremely grateful of any pressure that you could bring to bear that would help restore our marriage.

Regards
GH31

Your letter is too formal. Keep it real.

I agree with imagine. Short, simple and to the point. And I would make sure to try and not be insulting about WW in the letter, these people are her family and friends and you don't want to risk them coming to her defense instead of being your allies.

GH31

Why are you here?

You were told to expose WW.

You were given help to write an exposure letter.

You have been here since April 2008, and refuse to follow our guidance.

You were told expose or your WW will meet up with the OM and bang him.

Where is your WW now?

Banging the OM.

How many times is your WW going to put out this time for the OM?

Will it be enough times for the OM to knock her up?

What are you doing now?

Nothing.

You still sit at your computer telling us should you or should you expose, does it or does it not matter to expose now.

Evidently you are getting off knowing that the OM is plowing your WW.

Why?

Because you refuse to expose.

And, you know that is your right to give up without a fight and let the OM win. If you can't be man enough to fight for your WW then let the OM have her. Stop crying here. You have shown that you do not want to take action or are unable to take action because you are paralyzed by fear. Which your WW knows and is counting on so she gets to do the OM.

Dump or get off the pot.

The Road,


I did expose WW to her dad and to her sisters. I told them what WW told me - that OM was coming to Australia at the end of November.

EVERYONE in her family thinks she is utterly deranged and has told her so.

As it turns out, WW has deceived not just me but her entire family. I will not be lied to like this. As soon as she checks her email at home I will have the passwords - then I'll get the emails and expose.

I will write and tell you all about it.

Don't let this OM get one more romp with your wife!!!!!!! Call her now and tell her you know!!! Don't let them have one more minute then pull the plug. How did you find out??? Why do you need anything?? You know!!! But stop them now!!!!!!

Call her right now and tell her not to bother coming home, you know everything. It's finished (personally I call her something nasty, but that's probably wrong).Then hang up immediately. Do not let her utter one word.

Then DO NOT answer the phone from her. DO NOT.

Plan B is your only chance now.

Eevj if you are going to ends things.....make sure they don't get away with this!!! Call her home and tell her you know. Don't say its over until he leaves. Don't let him enjoy his trip!!!!!!!! I would tell her if he doesn't change his flight to leave immediately............you will go to his hotel and beat the crap out of him. I would then keep you wife at your side all day lone to include the cell phone. Once he leaves then lay the bomb on her!!!

She will say he changed his flight to show up early and knew you would be mad. All they did was tour the local area. For 1 Month??????? And then take a few days for her self this weekend???? Yeah right!!!! Nothing short of a Lie Detector would I believe that. But she still lied again!!!

I think the time for plans has passed. I, for one, would never be able to get over my wife lying to me like that. You have allowed your wife to horribly disrespect you for longer than I can possibly imagine dealing with. If I were in your shoes, I would call her, tell her you know she is lying to you and you won't tolerate it anymore. You are through with her and you don't care where she goes from here, but she will not set one foot in your home ever again. Then hang up and don't answer any of her phone calls or texts. Cut off all of her access to joint accounts.

This isn't a ploy to get her to see what she is missing and to come running back to you. Its a plan to excise her like the cancer that she is. If I was in your shoes, it would be a nearly insurmountable challenge for her to even get me to speak to her again. At some point, you have to be willing to look yourself in the mirror and say "I'm a good man and I won't be treated like this. If she won't treat me with love and respect, I'll find someone who will."

You are never going to be happy so long as you would rather be with an emotionally abusive woman than be alone.

Actually, if it was feasible, I would up and leave for the new job in Germany while she was out screwing OM. Get a general power of attorney or equivalent so a friend of yours can take care of any issues for you by proxy.

I cornered WW in her office yesterday.

She did not come home for the entire weekend. We went out for coffee (so that I would not say or do anything I regret) and she came clean about everything.

She flew to join OM for a trip to Northern Australia. OM wants her to leave me and to commit to a future with him. WW is reluctant to do this.

We got home, and I threw OM's gifts to WW away. I moved WW's stuff into my room and told her to write a NC letter to OM or I am done. WW has agreed to do this but hasn't done it yet. She will, or it is over.

I have looked at apartments and have somewhere to stay if need be. She has literally hours to write a NC letter. There isn't any way in this world that she deserves the title of W.

I have exposed her adultery to all of her family members. They are disgusted with her.

I must also confess that I kissed another girl 1 week ago when I was horribly drunk. This was a very wrong thing to do and I have also come clean about this.

This is a sick, deranged mess. WW used to be such a gentle and mild woman. She has turned into an adulterous lying monster.

GH31,
Just a suggestion but being drunk is probably the last thing you need right now. And you certainly do not need to be in the position where you would even have the opportunity to kiss another girl.
Just my opinion...

What was your reasoning to confront rather than to give her the plan B letter?

She flew to join OM for a trip to Northern Australia

But he has been is Australia for two weeks!!! Is she saying she has not seen him during that time and only now saw him when she flew to meet him???

GH,

YOu did not treat your W well at the beginning of the marriage because you focussed mainly on yourself.

Now you are focusing mainly on yourself and not focusing on your W. You keep thinking that your poor behavior, and your poor choice of woman are going to be magically fixed without you doing anything but simply "REACTING".

It is time for YOU to sit down and take stock of yourself. The kind of man you are. The kind of man you would like to be. The kind of husband you have been. The kind of husband you want to be. Then consider the kind of W you have and the kind of W you want.

After you have done this make a plan to achieve your goals.

Step one is get rid of the woman you are married to at this point. You have shown poor taste in women, and poor judgement in how you have treated them.

Step two change into the man you could and would respect and be honored to have as a friend.

Steph three make plans to achieve these goals and then activate them.

So far your plans have been a lot like my diet plan : I plan to lose 20 lbs.

That isn't a plan, it isn't even a goal, there is no date attached to it.

You want to shed your cheating lying W, then make plans with details, action items, and evaluation points. Then DO IT!

The folks here have offered you their best advice. Some may be good for you, some might not be. But, ultimately you are responsible for what you do and decide, time for you to "man up", or as they say in the US "cowboy up". Hop on the bucking bronco and ride for your life.

Please think about this.

God Bless,

JL

No Flynny,

She has spent at least one other night with him in Sydney since he arrived. WW admitted to this after being confronted with hard evidence.

Lying, adulterous slag that she is.

I deliberately calmed myself and got rid of the Love Busters when confronting her and she was amazed that I was so calm. Before I would have been verbally abusive and nasty.

I knew you would wimp out.

It's a waste offering you any advice.

How long before you hold their clothes for them while they have a romp in your bed?

How's it going???